and needing

[chow1982]

Hello! This is my first post, but I have been reading for awhile now. I am hoping someone can give me some honest, 'in your face' advice to my situation.

 

I have been 'seeing' a guy for the last 6 months, but we've been very casual friends for the last 5 years. We never really thought about being anything other than friends until a mutual friend of ours wanted to set us up. Once we actually started talking more and spending time together, we discovered that we had alot in common and really enjoyed each other's company. From the very beginning, he explained to me that he had serious commitment issues and that he did not want to hurt me in any way. I told him I was fine with just being friends and I meant it. For the first several weeks, we simply hung out as friends and nothing more ever came of it. However, about 6 weeks ago, he kissed me as I was leaving. He told me that he was very confused because he had a huge fear of commitment, but that he really liked me and felt like he was falling for me. I told him that I didn't want to make the situation harder on him, so I offered to stay away and let him figure things out for awhile. He said that is not what he wanted, but that he simply did not want to hurt me and he is afraid by following through with any sort of relationship, he will eventually end up hurting me somehow. Since that day, we have spent every single day together and I have stayed over every weekend. When I am with him, he treats me like I am his girlfriend. He takes me out, holds my hand in public, has been telling other people about me, etc....but only refers to me as his best friend. When we talk about anything serious, he talks about one day finding a wife and having a family, and then goes on to tell me that have every quality to be that person in his life....but again, he only tells me that he cares deeply for me and that I am his best friend.

 

So....I need everyone to be honest with me, even if it's gonna hurt.....Is this guy into me or not??? Or am I just his friend with benefits until something better comes along?

 

I've told him over and over that if he doesn't see anything serious with me in the future, then he needs to just let me go and move on. He always gets upset and says he can't do that....he says he cares about me more than any other girl he's had in his life. He also gets a little on the jealous side when any converstion gets brought up about me dating other men.

 

So...what gives? Am I crazy? Like I said, I can't tell if he is truly falling for me and is afraid to commit for some reason....or if I am just his bed buddy for now.