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What's the best way to proceed?


artlover

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Hey everyone:

 

Last week I posted a message about myself and my friend. He and I seemed to be moving towards a more intimate relationship, but I wasn't sure. Tony (in his infinite wisdom) suggested I ask him out to a movie or dinner rather than spending so much time on the telephone. Well, I asked him to a movie and we went Friday night. We also had dinner afterward. He had ordered the movie tickets over the phone so I figured I'd reimburse him at dinner. When the check came, he paid for everything. I asked him if he was sure and he was so sweet about it. I told him I thought that was really nice and he just smiled. Afterwards, it began to rain and neither of us had an umbrella so we just stood under an awning shielding ourselves from the pouring rain. It was incredibly romantic and I wanted him to kiss me, but he didn't. On the train home he was tired and he talked about wanting to sleep on my shoulder. I told him he could, but after all the jokes, the moment passed.

 

Every time we hang out, I feel the stakes getting higher and higher between us, but neither of us is willing to make a move for fear of rejection. Is there anything I can do that won't make me unduly vulnerable to total rejection? Should I just keep going out with him and wait? We're both analytical, cerebral people who lead with our heads more than our hearts and it's getting in the way. HELP!!!!

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You are just too impatient. Let things proceed slowly for now. You just went out once. It sounds like he's a real gentleman.

 

If after three or four dates, he doesn't proceed to become more romantic...then tell him you would really like to give him a kiss...and do it...and make it last...and enjoy it.

 

If by some remote chance he rejects that, and by all indications he would not, you do not need to continue to go after a relationship that may remain platonic.

 

Yes, you are way too analytical and way too cerebral. Life requires balance and you both have to attain that. You can lose out on a lot in life by taking so much time to analyze it when you should be enjoying it.

 

It could just be that there is a whole lot more that can happen here than you are willing to consider. Make it happen!!!

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