Woggle Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 The problem is that people don't know how to make the chemical high and grow it into real and lasting love. We hace a bunch of drug addicts without the drugs these days. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 The problem is that people don't know how to make the chemical high and grow it into real and lasting love. We hace a bunch of drug addicts without the drugs these days. I agree with you here. Our society is one of instant highs though, so really can you blame people? I think a lot of people DO want real love, they just don't understand it, or know how to achieve it or get it or to be content with it (or with anything much). They don't realise most of the time it will grow on its own with a little effort, but I know I was really devastated (I would actually use that word) when the chemical high wore off - I was a bit of a drug addict, I wanted it to last forever. Maybe its also called youth and we learn these things as we grow older. Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 I don't believe that I disbelieve in love... I believe that I won't put myself in a situation where my feelings, my true being, are in any way shape or form, the way of the trainwreck that is "Love" in the 21st century. It's not worth my time. Do I believe in love? Yes. Do I believe I'll love again? On some level, probably. But I'll never allow myself to tear away again; I'll never put myself in a situation that, as above, it a trainwreck waiting to happen. I've got too much **** to do and too little time to worry about a girl sleeping with my neighbor. To each their own I guess, and I am sure people will say "Oh, you guys are just saying this because you're not over it yet." Bull****. It's a conscious choice I've made not to share myself on that level with anyone ever again. I'll keep everyone at arms length, so the damage they inflict is collateral at best. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 I think though I will fall in love again, it will NEVER be at the level it was with my ex purely because it was the first time and we are all so hopeful, unguarded and vulnerable that first time. I don't expect I will ever feel so intensely again, because I will be protected from now on and I will never lose who I am. Maybe I am a masochist; I enjoyed the daydreams, losing myself in another person, the sacrifices - I just hoped it would end in happiness and not in tragedy. I know I won't be that person again so I won't feel that again. Maybe love will surprise me. Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 I think though I will fall in love again, it will NEVER be at the level it was with my ex purely because it was the first time and we are all so hopeful, unguarded and vulnerable that first time. I don't expect I will ever feel so intensely again, because I will be protected from now on and I will never lose who I am. Maybe I am a masochist; I enjoyed the daydreams, losing myself in another person, the sacrifices - I just hoped it would end in happiness and not in tragedy. I know I won't be that person again so I won't feel that again. Maybe love will surprise me. Perhaps. But we are also a society of bias and immaturity when it comes to marriage and long term relationships. Look at how divorce is handled, and when it boils down to it, while statistics MAY be bastardized, the numbers are pretty close to true: 50% of marriages fail, 75% of second marriages fail... I think our society gives people the out. MTV and VH1 romanticize the notion of multiple partners, cheating for the sake of Notebook style romance, and demonizing the other party without a thought for the problems you caused in the relationship. I may sound like a broken record here, but it all boils down to this; we are a fundamentally skewed culture. Our media and entertainment industries push these morally wrong and incorrect notions of love and marriage and union on us to get us to buy their product; in return, it fills you with a sense of entitlement to that "Notebook" style romance; in turn, this leads to higher divorce and infidelity rates. It's a vicious cycle, and until our culture has a wholesale change of heart, it won't get better. Divorce favors at times the cheater. "No-Fault" states don't take into account the heartbreak and anguish of the cheated spouse. Essentially, the cheater gets off scott free, and may end up getting away with more then they had due to the 50/50 laws, which are also inherently skewed. This is why I disagree with the idea of perpetual love. Mankind I believe is inherently evil. We are, in essence, animals. Our instinct is to survive, right? Put six people in a subway. Start flooding the subway. Let's see how many people will be willing to help the other five at expense of themselves to get to safety. Most people would, I believe, get the **** out of dodge and say to hell with the rest. It's a basic animal instinct to survive. We are also a culture centered on greed bred by capitolism. Our "Have it now" notions and ideas go directly against what I believe as a Buddhist. I don't HAVE to have anything beyond food, water and air. What is my point, really? Culturally, fundamentally and basically we are not engineered to have long lasting relationships. With the cultural push and media entertainment, we are not led to believe in real love. Fundamentally we are not designed to be a caring and giving being; we are designed to survive, and with survival can come greed. Basically, we are just plain ****ed. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted September 2, 2010 Share Posted September 2, 2010 I do and don't blame people. We are a throwaway society that doesn't realize that people who build things over time in the end up winning in most cases. My friends who bought Mcmansions and expensive houses are drowning in debt while I bought a fixer upper that I mostly remodeled myself and it is paid off plus much nicer than the Mcmansions. I put effort into something and in the end I came out the winner. The same concept applies to love. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sonolumino Posted September 3, 2010 Author Share Posted September 3, 2010 I agree with the points that we are a throwaway society, and that we as a culture are too immature to deal with the realities of long term relationships. The realities are that there will be hard times, and there won't be a storybook romance. When people keep searching for the ideal/perfect thing, they will end a relationship as soon as its not meeting their fairytale standards, and dismiss it as "this is not how it's supposed to be". The key is finding two mature adults who are willing to put a lot of effort into the relationship, understand the REALITIES of a long-term relationship, communicate, and do what's necessary to keep the fire alive. Alas, for people like me, it really just isn't worth it anymore. Too damaged. Link to post Share on other sites
kevinryon Posted September 4, 2010 Share Posted September 4, 2010 Sorry I am not clear in this post can you please explain me in brief. Link to post Share on other sites
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