Walking away in silence...why?

[witabix]

I thought I would start this thread in an effort to help some people to see the other side of a break up where their SO just walked away without any explanation. I will start it with a post from another thread.

 

 

Originally Posted by willowthewisp

This is absolutely right and what my X of nearly two decades fails to understand as he decided all on his own to not even communicate his unhappiness with me, just up and left.

 

It is a complete waste. I will never understand this mind set of just walking away, does someone who has given you all those years, all that emotional intimacy, support, care and love deserve just to be told, "well hey, we had a good time, but I can't be bothered now things have got a bit tough, see ya"?

Willow is so right too. I am the one who walks away, and reading these two post reinforces the belief that behaving like this is counter productive, to say the least.

 

Somewhere in the psyche of a 'walker' is a wall. A wall that surrounds you. You never let anyone in. You guard it, fix it, patrol it. You feel alone, all the time. It doesn't matter how close someone comes, you keep watching.

 

You never open the door to come out to really talk to anyone, to let someone know how you feel. Its too dangerous out there, they will just brush you off or use your weakness to hurt you. So you live your whole life, protecting yourself.

 

From what? I never asked myself that question until recently. I think it may be a case of never trusting anyone or never showing weakness, this leads into thinking that says, 'she never loved me anyway', 'she is going leave, I better get out first' and it is totally regardless of the facts. I can see in hindsight that my fears come from within, not without. I am afraid of something in myself, but I don't know what. Either that or it is some kind of super-pride thing, I am still in the process of realising what is going on inside me.

 

No one ever questions my decisions, tries to talk to me, I never let anyone. I seem to have cultivated the belief amongst my family and friends that I am not to be questioned. I only realised that recently, that was done subconsciously, it was never my intention but thats what happened because of self ignorance, pride, the need to be 'the big man' who never cracks and can bear anything silently. You know the stereotypical male.

 

It is not healthy but getting away from it can take a lifetime or two.

[witabix]

Are their any other walkers who would like to share their side of the story.

[tojaz]

Are their any other walkers who would like to share their side of the story.

 

Unfortunately, most WAS's don't seem to last very long on the S&D board, which is a shame, as many of us looking for answers could use the insight. Most of the time the WAS comes here looking for support for there decision and when they don't get it, they usually flee pretty fast from anything that would bring doubt to their decision.

 

Case and point, my ex. Who rushed the D as fast as she could, fled our home and conducted all of it over text and email. Her words "I cant talk to you because talking to you makes me doubt my decision" Counseling "I cant go to counseling because i'm afraid i'll change my mind." Really know how to make a guy feel special. :o:o

 

Thanks for sharing this Witabix

 

TOJAZ

[trippi1432]

Unfortunately, I don't think there is a WAS who can give a legitimate overall answer....it's different for each of them from what I have seen on LS and in my own life.

 

I was just going over things in my own mind today and still trying to understand my own motivations in marrying someone I had issues with for 12 years.....it took me that long to believe in him, or did it? Did I just want to finally get married or did I come to the realization that I might lose him if I didn't...I was the one that held out due to my own trust issues. Issues with him and the baggage I brought from an unfaithful spouse.

 

I even had the chance to change my mind on the night before my wedding when certain "events" were brought to my attention, but I didn't walk away. Back then I thought it was because I believed in him, a man who really loved me...someone who had been there all those years and would still be there (even though today I know he was never there as I needed him to be).

 

I don't know if there is an answer...but didn't take him long to walk away once he got the "ownership" papers. I guess we were both hoping marriage would change us. He even told me that he hoped that it would change us. You would think that after 12 years, you would know someone well enough to make that life-long commitment. You would think that 15 years together would mean something, but I see many people with many more years than that walking away from their lives....starting over for what?

Edited August 31, 2010 by trippi1432

[HopelessinDTW]

Unfortunately, most WAS's don't seem to last very long on the S&D board, which is a shame, as many of us looking for answers could use the insight. Most of the time the WAS comes here looking for support for there decision and when they don't get it, they usually flee pretty fast from anything that would bring doubt to their decision.

 

Case and point, my ex. Who rushed the D as fast as she could, fled our home and conducted all of it over text and email. Her words "I cant talk to you because talking to you makes me doubt my decision" Counseling "I cant go to counseling because i'm afraid i'll change my mind." Really know how to make a guy feel special. :o:o

 

Thanks for sharing this Witabix

 

TOJAZ

Tojaz:

 

For the duration of our separation, including the day my stbx wanted to separate...almost all communication between us has been through e-mail!! You know why I think this is the case. It's because our ex's cannot face us and look us in the face and say those things...it called guilt! They know exactly what they are doing, and the e-mail/texts provide that 'buffer zone' that makes it easy to say whatever you want without having to face that person you know you are destroying. The e-mail/text route of communication shows low-self esteem, lack of tact, no morals, and in short shows that they are cowards. All this will eventually catch up with them...like many say Karma is a real motherf**ker...I have no doubt about that.

[tojaz]

Tojaz:

 

For the duration of our separation, including the day my stbx wanted to separate...almost all communication between us has been through e-mail!! You know why I think this is the case. It's because our ex's cannot face us and look us in the face and say those things...it called guilt! They know exactly what they are doing, and the e-mail/texts provide that 'buffer zone' that makes it easy to say whatever you want without having to face that person you know you are destroying. The e-mail/text route of communication shows low-self esteem, lack of tact, no morals, and in short shows that they are cowards. All this will eventually catch up with them...like many say Karma is a real motherf**ker...I have no doubt about that.

 

Yep, have known that for quite some time. It seems to happen a lot. If they dont have to see the results of their actions then they dont have to acknowledge them. Same reason once its over they want to be friends and are usually completely flabergasted that you don't hold the same respect for them you once did.

 

Karma is a real motherf**ker...I have no doubt about that.

 

Funny, I just posted that to someone elses thread.

 

TOJAZ

[trippi1432]

Yep, have known that for quite some time. It seems to happen a lot. If they dont have to see the results of their actions then they dont have to acknowledge them. Same reason once its over they want to be friends and are usually completely flabergasted that you don't hold the same respect for them you once did.

 

 

 

Funny, I just posted that to someone elses thread.

 

TOJAZ

 

It's not about being friends.....water under the bridge because a real marriage includes friendship and a mutual respect for each other. Once that is broken, there is only a superficial understanding.... a respect that I am now here and they are now there, with no "karma" intended. Just a reflection on what was and what is yet to be....at least I hope that my life isn't over because someone else controlled it for me. I hope to one day take my life back and know that it is mine.

[dgiirl]

Somewhere in the psyche of a 'walker' is a wall. A wall that surrounds you. You never let anyone in. You guard it, fix it, patrol it. You feel alone, all the time. It doesn't matter how close someone comes, you keep watching.

 

You never open the door to come out to really talk to anyone, to let someone know how you feel. Its too dangerous out there, they will just brush you off or use your weakness to hurt you. So you live your whole life, protecting yourself.

 

Thanks Witabix. That clarifies a lot around my exh. He always blamed me. Saying I never provided a safe environment or I was unapproachable which baffled me. I've taken it personally for quite a while. But I also realized none of my other friends feel that way about me AND he never talked to anyone else either (cept his mistress). His WHOLE family and friends were just as much shocked as I was to find out he's been sooo unhappy for so long.

 

He never expressed ANY of his emotion to anyone. Neither anger nor affection. And he was good at hiding his emotions. Was too proud/afraid to show weakness.

[witabix]

Thanks Witabix. That clarifies a lot around my exh. He always blamed me. Saying I never provided a safe environment or I was unapproachable which baffled me. I've taken it personally for quite a while. But I also realized none of my other friends feel that way about me AND he never talked to anyone else either (cept his mistress). His WHOLE family and friends were just as much shocked as I was to find out he's been sooo unhappy for so long.

 

He never expressed ANY of his emotion to anyone. Neither anger nor affection. And he was good at hiding his emotions. Was too proud/afraid to show weakness.

 

Yes dgiirl, that is most definitely a part of it. Blame, or perhaps self justification. You tend to make a decision in isolation, inside your own head, then look for reasons to justify your behaviour by appearing to blame your ex. I have moved a little beyond that to accepting the truth of the situation.

 

I think it is different if there is a mistress involved, the justification then serves two purposes. To assuage guilt because of the affair and to, once again, justify the final move to leave.

 

I know I never talked to anyone about how I was feeling, but I never had a problem showing anger, at anyone who even remotely annoyed me. Even my bosses at work told me subsequently that they were scared to approach me in work, just because of the look on my face. I got used to people jumping if I came into the room. Thankfully that has all gone now.

 

If I can help some people come to terms with being literally walked out on, with no explanation, I would be happy.

 

I can say this to anyone who has had that experience.

 

I was the one who behaved like that. It is my fault that I took that course of action. You did nothing to engender it. I know you deserved a chance to understand. I lacked the self awareness, maturity and courage to give us a chance. I walked out on a perfectly good life. I wasn't happy because I didn't know how to be.

 

It is a very hard thing to explain. I peer back through time to try and see the man who did this thing. To see why he did it, all I can see from here is weakness and loneliness, a man trapped inside in his own head, looking in the wrong direction and valuing the wrong things.

 

I used work, between 60 and 84 hours a week, and supplying 'things', a big house, a BMW, motorbikes, possessions......to fill the gap that existed. I wasn't there for my family and my twisted perceptions saw it the other way around, they didn't value me. So my pride made me up and walk out. All I said was "Its over, I'm done here ", no real explanation. So weak.

 

If I can stop one person doing the same thing, or delay them enough to start to think, it would be cool.

[trippi1432]

Yes dgiirl, that is most definitely a part of it. Blame, or perhaps self justification. You tend to make a decision in isolation, inside your own head, then look for reasons to justify your behaviour by appearing to blame your ex. I have moved a little beyond that to accepting the truth of the situation.

 

I think it is different if there is a mistress involved, the justification then serves two purposes. To assuage guilt because of the affair and to, once again, justify the final move to leave.

I know I never talked to anyone about how I was feeling, but I never had a problem showing anger, at anyone who even remotely annoyed me. Even my bosses at work told me subsequently that they were scared to approach me in work, just because of the look on my face. I got used to people jumping if I came into the room. Thankfully that has all gone now.

 

If I can help some people come to terms with being literally walked out on, with no explanation, I would be happy.

 

I can say this to anyone who has had that experience.

 

I was the one who behaved like that. It is my fault that I took that course of action. You did nothing to engender it. I know you deserved a chance to understand. I lacked the self awareness, maturity and courage to give us a chance. I walked out on a perfectly good life. I wasn't happy because I didn't know how to be.

 

It is a very hard thing to explain. I peer back through time to try and see the man who did this thing. To see why he did it, all I can see from here is weakness and loneliness, a man trapped inside in his own head, looking in the wrong direction and valuing the wrong things.

 

I used work, between 60 and 84 hours a week, and supplying 'things', a big house, a BMW, motorbikes, possessions......to fill the gap that existed. I wasn't there for my family and my twisted perceptions saw it the other way around, they didn't value me. So my pride made me up and walk out. All I said was "Its over, I'm done here ", no real explanation. So weak.

 

If I can stop one person doing the same thing, or delay them enough to start to think, it would be cool.

 

Thank you for this Witabix - a lot of what you write is how my ex acted for a very long time (years even)...anger all the time...it was something that he had to keep going because he was miserable....it explains a lot actually.

 

I was the one who worked all the time, supplying things...building the security and hoping he would find happiness. He did, just not with me. But working all the time, it was more of an excuse not to have to deal with his anger and his general unhappiness because he never really could put into words what made him so unhappy.

 

To this day, he still can't....he can only say that he realizes now that he didn't treat me well during our marriage. It took seeing that he could treat HER well to realize that.

[willowthewisp]

Thanks for starting this thread Witabix, a lot of what you are sharing here is certainly helping me. Could I ask you a couple of questions?

 

Yes dgiirl, that is most definitely a part of it. Blame, or perhaps self justification. You tend to make a decision in isolation, inside your own head, then look for reasons to justify your behaviour by appearing to blame your ex. What made you make the decision in the first place? I have moved a little beyond that to accepting the truth of the situation.

 

I think it is different if there is a mistress involved, the justification then serves two purposes. To assuage guilt because of the affair and to, once again, justify the final move to leave.

 

I know I never talked to anyone about how I was feeling, but I never had a problem showing anger, at anyone who even remotely annoyed me. Even my bosses at work told me subsequently that they were scared to approach me in work, just because of the look on my face. I got used to people jumping if I came into the room. Thankfully that has all gone now.

 

If I can help some people come to terms with being literally walked out on, with no explanation, I would be happy.

 

I can say this to anyone who has had that experience.

 

I was the one who behaved like that. It is my fault that I took that course of action. You did nothing to engender it. I know you deserved a chance to understand. I lacked the self awareness, maturity and courage to give us a chance. I walked out on a perfectly good life. I wasn't happy because I didn't know how to be.

 

It is a very hard thing to explain. I peer back through time to try and see the man who did this thing. To see why he did it, all I can see from here is weakness and loneliness, a man trapped inside in his own head, looking in the wrong direction and valuing the wrong things.

 

I used work, between 60 and 84 hours a week, and supplying 'things', a big house, a BMW, motorbikes, possessions......to fill the gap that existed. I wasn't there for my family and my twisted perceptions saw it the other way around, they didn't value me.May I ask if your wife was asking to spend more time with you and that is what you mean when you say you saw it as ungratefulness? So my pride made me up and walk out. All I said was "Its over, I'm done here ", no real explanation. So weak.

 

If I can stop one person doing the same thing, or delay them enough to start to think, it would be cool.

[willowthewisp]

Thank you for this Witabix - a lot of what you write is how my ex acted for a very long time (years even)...anger all the time...it was something that he had to keep going because he was miserable....it explains a lot actually.

 

I was the one who worked all the time, supplying things...building the security and hoping he would find happiness. He did, just not with me. But working all the time, it was more of an excuse not to have to deal with his anger and his general unhappiness because he never really could put into words what made him so unhappy.

 

To this day, he still can't....he can only say that he realizes now that he didn't treat me well during our marriage. It took seeing that he could treat HER well to realize that.

 

Trippi, your last line in the above really stuck out at me. You know this is BS don't you? It didn't take HER to make him realise, he realises, but uses his OW as a self justification for his bad behaviour towards you "it took being with her, away from you, for me to realise I didn't treat you right, because we weren't right together" or whatever it is he is saying. That's utter rubblish! He's trying to place the blame for his affair at your feet, he has learnt nothing.

[trippi1432]

Trippi, your last line in the above really stuck out at me. You know this is BS don't you? It didn't take HER to make him realise, he realises, but uses his OW as a self justification for his bad behaviour towards you "it took being with her, away from you, for me to realise I didn't treat you right, because we weren't right together" or whatever it is he is saying. That's utter rubblish! He's trying to place the blame for his affair at your feet, he has learnt nothing.

 

Actually, I hadn't thought about it in that way....perhaps it was the way he was saying it or just the fact that he finally admitted something that I had been telling him for years....in a way it made it feel like some sort of closure to me. I really hadn't thought about it as self-justification.

 

I know that others have told me this, it's just not been clicking in my mind for some reason. All of it actually, how he is now Mr. Perfect Everything and how she has made him a better person. I keep trying to pin-point how I made him the way he was when we were together and I know, over time, I began to not care as much....I think that is where a lot of my own guilt lies.

[florence of suburbia]

I was the one who behaved like that. It is my fault that I took that course of action. You did nothing to engender it. I know you deserved a chance to understand. I lacked the self awareness, maturity and courage to give us a chance. I walked out on a perfectly good life. I wasn't happy because I didn't know how to be.

 

It is a very hard thing to explain. I peer back through time to try and see the man who did this thing. To see why he did it...

 

This makes me cry.

[trippi1432]

I did too....

[witabix]

Thanks for starting this thread Witabix, a lot of what you are sharing here is certainly helping me. Could I ask you a couple of questions?

 

What made you make the decision in the first place?

 

Thats a hard one to pin down exactly. All I can do is go back to the day I ended it. A perfectly normal Wednesday. I came home from work and called my wife into the lounge. I said it was over, I'm done. I sit here looking back at that moment, trying to relive my thoughts and feelings. There is only one way to describe it. Grey, cold, trapped. A kind of slow motion panic setting in, like my life depended on being out of there. The point of decision, well I can't say there was one, trying to feel it now leaves me unaware of actually making a decision.

 

As though everything was breaking down, I don't mean I was shaking or frothing at the mouth, nothing dramatic. I was feeling nothing. The aftermath was a different thing. Equally strange to me now. I came home from work each night when my family had gone and sat in the chair and cried until I fell asleep. I didn't go out, eat, nothing. I had a picture of my kids above the fireplace and I just sat there and cried, looking up at it. My wife still wanted to try, her family called me to speak to me. I refused point blank to listen. There was no one else. I was alone. Except, and I want to point out that I am not a believer in ghosts or anything like that, but there seems to have been a presence. A strange version of me, holding me down. As though I was jealous of myself, or perhaps I didn't deserve that life. And yes that sounds even stranger to me than it probably does to you.

 

 

May I ask if your wife was asking to spend more time with you and that is what you mean when you say you saw it as ungratefulness?

 

She was always asking for this, and I was always saying what more do you want. She wasn't talking in riddles or making it hard to understand, I was absolutely incapable of understanding what I can now see is totally obvious. And that seems is how I viewed it as ungratefulness, for all the effort I was putting in to buy things. Its as though I was blind, things, things, bigger house, better cars.....all my family wanted was me, a husband, a dad.

 

I lost contact with my children for nearly ten years because of this. The time we reconnected involved a lot of hard questions from them about it all. My daughter and I talked for a long, long time about it all. I am happy to say we are very close now, my children and I (and grandchildren), but my ex wife hasn't spoken to me in nearly twenty years, and may never do so again. I do not blame her for this.

[witabix]

I keep trying to pin-point how I made him the way he was when we were together and I know, over time, I began to not care as much....I think that is where a lot of my own guilt lies.

 

This seems to be one of the most common misconceptions about others.

 

how I made him the way he was when we were together

This statement is false, invalid, incorrect, in every way possible.

 

If I possess the coldness of heart and the illiteracy of the soul to simply walk away from you without explanation, there is no way you or anyone else can be held responsible for this. You are holding guilt that does not belong in your hands. That guilt belongs to someone else. When you realise this it will vanish.

[tojaz]

Thanks for this thread Witabix. Truly

 

How long did it take for you to see these things? Once you did, did you apologize to your wife???

 

TOJAZ

[trippi1432]

This seems to be one of the most common misconceptions about others.

 

how I made him the way he was when we were together

This statement is false, invalid, incorrect, in every way possible.

 

If I possess the coldness of heart and the illiteracy of the soul to simply walk away from you without explanation, there is no way you or anyone else can be held responsible for this. You are holding guilt that does not belong in your hands. That guilt belongs to someone else. When you realise this it will vanish.

 

But there was explanation.....You did this to us, You worked too much, You didn't change, I had to leave to make you happy, this is for the best, you were right...we didn't do things together, we didn't have things in common, we fight too much, this is why your first ex left you too....

 

These were the reasons I was given.....when he finally brought the OW out she was his soul-mate. I gave him the chance to forgive him for everything...leave her...move in with mom or a friend and work on us...but he couldn't do that TO HER...for the first time in my life I realized that I didn't matter for 15 years....my life was a lie....I even lied to myself.

[Tayla]

Witabix, Thank you for your post. People really needed to understand.

 

As a person who has been on both sides, you nailed it with some of the actions that lead up to such a decision. People say more thru actions (and sometimes inactions) then they do thru words. In a nutshell, My bro pulled in the driveway, wife greeted him at the door with the days trash, he took one look at the bag..placed it to the side, walked up the stairs, packed his bags, kissed his kids goodbye and walked out. Not a word to her. His actions said it all. Months later he opened up how that decision came about. 20 years of being handed garbage at the door with no hugs, no warm greetings...just wears a person down....HE saw more to life then that life...She just didn't want to deal with the Elephant in their living room so to speak. So I do understand as his sister how someone can do it, and the actions behind it.

[witabix]

Thanks for this thread Witabix. Truly

 

How long did it take for you to see these things? Once you did, did you apologize to your wife???

 

TOJAZ

 

It was my birthday and my children and grandchildren came over for it. My daughter and I sat one evening out on the hillside and talked about a lot of stuff. It started to seem strange then, what I had done and why I did it. That was only a few months ago. I do intend to try to speak to my ex wife again, to at least give her the opportunity to tell me she hates me, if that what she wants.

 

But on advice from my kids that is not advised at the moment. She has a LTR now, and I don't think its right for me to start a lot of old stuff up. She is very happy now, and I am pleased she is. I will forgive myself in the meantime, and who knows perhaps our paths will cross and I can try.

[just_some_guy]

Yeah, I'm the leaver. I'm accused of being a walk-away.

 

How many times do I have to say, "I can't live like this. Things have to change" before I'm taken seriously? How many times and how hard can a man be tested to see if he lives up to the "won't leave me NO MATTER WHAT" creedo? How was I supposed to say, "I won't have sex with you because you've gotten so fat you can't keep yourself clean?" How about, "I can't sleep in the same room with you because your snoring is so loud". And the ever repeated, "I can't do this anymore, I just can't."

 

Yeah, it is ugly. Very ugly. Yes, I keep things bottled in a lot.

 

I'm angry now, very angry. There were times when I WISHED with all my heart that she would be dead from a stroke or a heart attack when I walked in the door.

 

I said what I could say and I bit my tongue for the rest.

 

I'm not sorry I am gone. Should have done it sooner. I wasted a decade of my life that will never come back on a partner who was obsessed with killing herself a forkful at a time, who looked to me not as a man, but as a hero and caretaker who would be there no matter how she destroyed herself in front of my eyes.

 

My fault for playing along.

 

How's that? Did that **** off a bunch of you on LS?

[witabix]

But there was explanation.....You did this to us, You worked too much, You didn't change, I had to leave to make you happy, this is for the best, you were right...we didn't do things together, we didn't have things in common, we fight too much, this is why your first ex left you too....

 

These were the reasons I was given.....when he finally brought the OW out she was his soul-mate. I gave him the chance to forgive him for everything...leave her...move in with mom or a friend and work on us...but he couldn't do that TO HER...for the first time in my life I realized that I didn't matter for 15 years....my life was a lie....I even lied to myself.

 

Yes trippi, I understand your dejectedness. In the mangled logic that exists in these situations it is true that he may not be able to do that to her precisely because he did it to you. It is an awful place to be, to have the thoughts that you are having. Whatever the facts are it is still not your fault, you enabled a deception, perhaps you did. But you didn't provoke, entice, or cause the deception. Do not take on the guilt of the deceiver. Lay it down, the burden is too heavy, and it is not your burden.

[tojaz]

Witabix, Thank you for your post. People really needed to understand.

 

As a person who has been on both sides, you nailed it with some of the actions that lead up to such a decision. People say more thru actions (and sometimes inactions) then they do thru words. In a nutshell, My bro pulled in the driveway, wife greeted him at the door with the days trash, he took one look at the bag..placed it to the side, walked up the stairs, packed his bags, kissed his kids goodbye and walked out. Not a word to her. His actions said it all. Months later he opened up how that decision came about. 20 years of being handed garbage at the door with no hugs, no warm greetings...just wears a person down....HE saw more to life then that life...She just didn't want to deal with the Elephant in their living room so to speak. So I do understand as his sister how someone can do it, and the actions behind it.

 

Doesn't make it right! I can relate to being wore down I was in many ways, but I never walked, never gave up on her or my marriage. I tried my best to talk it out, explain my feelings. They werent feelings I was allowed to have apparently, but I never gave up. Maybe his actions said all he wanted to say at the time, but wonder if she would agree??? I think thats what Witabix is getting at.

 

TOJAZ

[witabix]

Yeah, I'm the leaver. I'm accused of being a walk-away.

 

How many times do I have to say, "I can't live like this. Things have to change" before I'm taken seriously? How many times and how hard can a man be tested to see if he lives up to the "won't leave me NO MATTER WHAT" creedo? How was I supposed to say, "I won't have sex with you because you've gotten so fat you can't keep yourself clean?" How about, "I can't sleep in the same room with you because your snoring is so loud". And the ever repeated, "I can't do this anymore, I just can't."

 

Yeah, it is ugly. Very ugly. Yes, I keep things bottled in a lot.

 

I'm angry now, very angry. There were times when I WISHED with all my heart that she would be dead from a stroke or a heart attack when I walked in the door.

 

I said what I could say and I bit my tongue for the rest.

 

I'm not sorry I am gone. Should have done it sooner. I wasted a decade of my life that will never come back on a partner who was obsessed with killing herself a forkful at a time, who looked to me not as a man, but as a hero and caretaker who would be there no matter how she destroyed herself in front of my eyes.

 

My fault for playing along.

 

How's that? Did that **** off a bunch of you on LS?

 

I understand that story very well just_some_guy, what I was addressing was quite different. I just walked out with no explanation. Even now I have no explanation.

 

Tayla's post also describes a situation where someone has had enough and can specify what kind of things leads one to do that.

 

I understand the reasons.

 

Just_some_guy, you spoke about what was wrong she didn't listen, in Tayla's post she describes building up in silence a feeling that just bursts and you walk out.

 

There is not always a good reason, I deluded myself with self justifications left right and centre, but I didn't make any effort to talk, to understand myself.