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Decipher this please....


fishman3226

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fishman3226

I did that - she came over again today for some cuddles (again) so I said to her that all of this is killing me inside - I told her that I want her back and asked her how she felt when she was holding me - funny she said "I feel like I am getting back love" and she was saying how she feels content and safe and warm adn content - makes it harder to hear that cause I know from her actions she wants me, but is scared (naive?) of the relationship.

 

I am thinking now one month of this s*** is all I will take then it is NO MORE! She is wrong that if she thinks I am going to let her do that forever - I am sure a new partner (of either of us) would be comfortable with that!!

 

I have to wait and cop this pain if I want her and I have to realise that I will ultimately have no real answer in the short term and maybe never. Man, it sux.

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fishman3226

OK, here it is. She has canned it again. She rings me last night to tell me that she has decided that after a month she will ring me and the onnly thing we will ever have is a friendship.

 

I said it before - who the hell is she to deem to me when I am worthy of her affections?

 

So my simple rule. This girl can go rot for all I care. I gave all I could for her and now shedont want it cause her 'finding herself' then he can 'findherself' without my constant support and caring. See how far she falls without the person that has held her up for so long is no longer there to catch her when she falls.

 

I rang her this morning and left a message that I am making no effort whatsoever for her anymore that in mymind she no longerexists. I told her I love her and that I know I did nothing wrong and that I know in the future she will realise that I am right in what I say. I used the line "in the dark of your empty room when you feel bad you will come to realise what I offered you. Your loss, for I can move onb and find someone new."

 

I dont need her, and now I dont want her.

 

The door is ajar, but not forever. And I think I might even slam it if I could. Maybe she will miss me and realise, but maybe I will just turn her away when she 'deems I am worthy."

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