Should be official this week.

[phineas]

Judge signed off on all the paperwork & I should get a letter from lawyer this week.

 

The almost STBXW is not quite as happy as me.

I've dropped 55lbs of fat & added some good muscle.

Gone from a 46 inch waist to 36 inch waist.

10 to 15 lbs & i'll be 34 (like in highschool)

 

She's pushing 150lbs when she used to be 120lbs.

 

She picked up the kids last night right after a bath (i was just out of the shower shirtless)

While packing up kids a female friend called & asked me if I wanted to get an icecream & go for a walk so I told her I'll leave in ten minutes in front of ex.

 

The ex asked if I was meeting woman #1. I told her no woman #2.

 

She got annoyed & tried to start an argument over how I've changed my lifestyle & working out & blah blah now that she's gone (as if I kicked her out)

 

I just smiled & was having no part of it.

 

bottom line she told me "now that your skinny & rid of me you can go out & fook all the skinny chicks you want".

 

I just kind of laughed, said good night to my kids & went inside to dress.

 

She's the one who was cheating & left me & is now living with OM.

She has me living paycheck to paycheck & now she's mad because other women don't care & still want to spend time with me.

 

I have to say.

Life after divorce isn't so bad.

I feel good.

I look good.

My finances are a shambles but hey, I can pay my bills & put food on the table which is all I really need.

 

I got a few woman friends but not dateing since I don't yet have the stupid piece of paper.

However, they act like they want all my free time. LOL!

 

The whole dateing thing is a headache. Not going to sugercoat that.

 

hopefully things will change when the courts spit out the paperwork.

 

For those just now faceing the whole divorce thing, life does go on & it does get better without your spouce.

It just takes a while.

[PegNosePete]

Congratulations dude!

Next time you see her, you need one of these... http://www.force18.co.uk/game-on-divorce-game-over-tshirt-p-696.html

[carhill]

Good for you. That court seal helps put teeth into acceptance. In time, who's 'better' will fade into 'I'm OK, not perfect and I like that' and the ex will be just another person in billions. The jewels of your M, your kids, will always remain as a positive reminder of those years. Best wishes

[2.50 a gallon]

Some how I missed this thread

 

Have you gotten the word yet?

 

I actually hate divoce, but for me, ":Divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me."

 

As for dating, just remember, "Girls just want to have fun". Be unique, be different, don't be afraid to let the little boy out, women like it.

 

I was once on this picnic date on the river, and it was going nowhere, all she could talk about was all the other guys who were chasing her. Fed up and as away to ignore her, I realized that the tree we were shading in was very climbable. At first she was indignant, and worried that one of her friends would see her date up a tree. That is until I told her she should try it, and came down to help her up. She had never climbed a tree, and had wanted to when she was a kid.

 

The next morning for breakfast she chose the Cheerios ala mode (Cheerios / ice cream / fresh strawberries) over an omelot.

[phineas]

I did not receive word.

 

There is something in the air though.

 

The stbxw is not acting like someone who is happy to be divorced so she can be free to do what she wants with OM.

 

The two women i'm seeing were eager to spend time with me when I said judge signed papers but now I feel like their taking a step back to see what happens when I get the final word or waiting until I get the final word.

 

I can't explain it really. They call & text like normal inquire about what I did & with who , but their avoiding face time & alluding to things they definitely want to do with me at some unknown future date.

 

which is fine, i'm in a funk now because I got my hopes up that it would be done by now & it isn't.

 

So i'm just cooling my jets, working out, working on my house spending time with kids ect. until I can say i'm legally divorced.

[You Go Girl]

I did not receive word.

 

There is something in the air though.

 

The stbxw is not acting like someone who is happy to be divorced so she can be free to do what she wants with OM.

 

The two women i'm seeing were eager to spend time with me when I said judge signed papers but now I feel like their taking a step back to see what happens when I get the final word or waiting until I get the final word.

 

I can't explain it really. They call & text like normal inquire about what I did & with who , but their avoiding face time & alluding to things they definitely want to do with me at some unknown future date.

 

which is fine, i'm in a funk now because I got my hopes up that it would be done by now & it isn't.

 

So i'm just cooling my jets, working out, working on my house spending time with kids ect. until I can say i'm legally divorced.

 

Interesting...!

Who was to deliver the word that it was final?

How do you know how the stbx is feeling today?

Do you sense either of these women backing off when they determine you are truly available? Or did they anticipate you needing time to sort out the finality feeling of it all?

Do you know why it isn't final?

 

Mine should be tomorrow. I am going to come onto LS and post one word I think, just a Charlie Brown ugh. I will have nothing else to say. Then I'm going back to bed and sleep off the emotions.

[habs53]

Karma is to funny.

[PWSX3]

 

For those just now facing the whole divorce thing, life does go on & it does get better without your spouse.

It just takes a while.

It's a shame we all have to go thru the hell before we realize; yes it can be better on the other side of divorce, but you can be told 1,000 times & until you do it you won't believe them, I never did & I'm sure most people don't.....

 

Little secret; all woman are nuts, don't try & figure them out just go out & have fun....When you think they are getting closer they back off, you say; the heck with them & they come running!!!!!:confused:

 

Congrats!!! I would think if the papers were signed it is final. I had to call the court house since the former wife (who now wants to reconcile after a year, she found out the grass was not greener on the other side) was the one that filed they sent the paperwork to her, but by doing that I knew before she did & yes I celebrated!!!

 

Don't be surprised when you get the papers it does tuck at your heart a little specially if you were not the one that wanted the divorce. I didn't want the divorce but by the time it was final I was in a much better place such as you are & it still hurt a little....Make sure & grieve the loss & then you can move forward.....

[phineas]

Interesting...!

Who was to deliver the word that it was final?

How do you know how the stbx is feeling today?

Do you sense either of these women backing off when they determine you are truly available? Or did they anticipate you needing time to sort out the finality feeling of it all?

Do you know why it isn't final?

 

Mine should be tomorrow. I am going to come onto LS and post one word I think, just a Charlie Brown ugh. I will have nothing else to say. Then I'm going back to bed and sleep off the emotions.

 

Lawyer told me judge signed off & I should get a letter once the court processes it & makes it public record.

 

STBX is annoying the hell out of me with too many non important texts, calls, emails, ect. she asks my 4 yr old when he calls to ask who is at my house.

 

i'm sure their very wary of dateing a freshly divorced guy.

I might go insane & start having flings with women in their 20's like a lot of divorced guys pushing 40 do.

 

I honestly don't know how i'll feel when it's final.

I think elation & that a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Or i'll just feel depressed.

 

I do know one thing, I won't feel like failure for not keeping my wife happy.

She's with the love of her life now (om) & she still doesn't look happy to me. LOL!

[MrMayI]

congrats, man! it's been a ride for you, i know. friday will mark one year since the ex and i signed papers. she JUST moved into a house less than a block from the one i bought post divorce. a crappy little rental. i tried to resent her for it when she told me, but i realized i just really don't care. the girl i've been seeing is incredible in her understanding of my thoughts and concerns. she doesn't pressure me to move faster or anything like that. she just wants me to be happy with or without her around. i have to agree with your first post to the new folks. i swear to god and everything holy it gets better. you have to take the first step and let it get better though. i think in the past say 3 months i've finally made my way out of the tunnel and covered that thing up with 2 tons of steel. i'm never stepping out of the light again.

[2.50 a gallon]

MMI

 

Out of the tunnel and off the roller coaster, it is good to hear that life is treating you better.

 

Even better are the weekend games, I couldn't believe the BS / VT game, hows that for a season opener? Life is good.

[2.50 a gallon]

phineas

 

Don't be surprised if you should feel a little sadness when you finally get the decree.

 

It is like losing some one who is terminally ill. Though we know where it is headed, it is sad when the end finally comes.

[Woggle]

Good for you. Walkway wives sure hate it when a man shows he can live a happy life without them. I truly don't get because they are so so adamant about ending the marriage yet get so upset when their ex has fun without them. You are free to do whatever you want and I would flaunt it if I were you.

[What_Next]

Wow phineas, I am so happy for you. Good for you. I cannot wait for my D to be final. I am dreaming of the day I say I am single again. I am just dreaming of it.

 

I too have lost some weight and more will be lost. I am going to continue to exercise and take care of myself. My finances will be a mess as well, but like you I will be able to put food on the table.

 

There will be down days for me in the future for sure, but WAW's need to get it! They need to get it! Playing is a dangerous game.

 

I've had more interest in me from the opposite sex in the last little while then I've had in my entire life. Then again I wouldn't have wanted the interest from the opposite sex, I was married. I wish my STBX could say the same, then again .

 

Good on you and keep us posted on how things go. Those of us who have been treated like garbage by our EX's need to stand up and cheer when one of us makes it through.

[seibert253]

Success is the best revenge!

 

Bravo.

[PegNosePete]

Those of us who have been treated like garbage by our EX's need to stand up and cheer when one of us makes it through.

Oh yeah definitely! Score one more for Team BS !!!

[What_Next]

Oh yeah definitely! Score one more for Team BS !!!

 

 

You know I'd like to look at it with revenge in my eyes, but I cannot. Well in terms of like phineas me personally changing, losing weight, taking better care of myself; then yes from a revenge perspective. She now sees what she has lost. You know, what it feels bloody amazing!!!!!

 

In terms of any potential relationship, nah there is no revenge motive. Because if there is, then the relationship is doomed from the word go.

 

Living well is definitely sweet though and on Oct 1 when I move out I'll get that little slice of heaven.

[HopelessinDTW]

You know I'd like to look at it with revenge in my eyes, but I cannot. Well in terms of like phineas me personally changing, losing weight, taking better care of myself; then yes from a revenge perspective. She now sees what she has lost. You know, what it feels bloody amazing!!!!!

 

In terms of any potential relationship, nah there is no revenge motive. Because if there is, then the relationship is doomed from the word go.

 

Living well is definitely sweet though and on Oct 1 when I move out I'll get that little slice of heaven.

One thing you need to remember about revenge is that if you do it, you're only stooping down to her level. The affair behind your back is in many ways "revenge" for the "unhappiness, unfulfilled marriage" that they think you did to them. I know revenge feels good, but like you said moving on a better person, healthier, smarter, and more confident is your revenge. Whether they see it that way or not...who cares.

[What_Next]

Precisely HopelessinDTW. Initially I wanted to run out and f__k everyone I could. However, I realized that makes me no better than she is. Nope, I won't disrespect myself like that.

 

I am incredibly lucky to have found someone with potential already. We are going REAL slowly largely because of me, but she is hanging in there. We'll see where it leads.

 

I don't NEED a woman in my life, in fact I may not even WANT one in my life, but if one comes into it and is what I am looking for then so be it right?

[2sure]

Phineas - I have to say your posts here have really made me happy thins morning. I mean, I get that you dont know what happens next but...mine just became final also. Very emotional. My ex also, I know, has regret. He was the WS and still I feel like I'm the bad guy for pushing the D through.

 

Financially, I'm ok. Right now though, I cant even think about wanting to date. I just have to process this. The last thing I want to be is one of those stereotype ball buster women...but, I'm still pi55ed ya know?

 

We dont have children together . So done is done.

For some reason I havent taken comfort in that. I wish just a little that I could live well to throw it in his face. See? Kind of bitter. I should live well for just me. Sigh.

[HopelessinDTW]

Precisely HopelessinDTW. Initially I wanted to run out and f__k everyone I could. However, I realized that makes me no better than she is. Nope, I won't disrespect myself like that.

 

I am incredibly lucky to have found someone with potential already. We are going REAL slowly largely because of me, but she is hanging in there. We'll see where it leads.

 

I don't NEED a woman in my life, in fact I may not even WANT one in my life, but if one comes into it and is what I am looking for then so be it right?

 

That's right. If it happens it happens. Can't force these things, and the way you're going about is fine.

 

BTW, I've been following your stbx's thread, and a lot of the responders don't seem to know the whole story, and all the things you have done to save your M. As such, don't get upset. I on the other hand have been following your posts, and would say that you have done more than all you can to save things. You have definately pulled more than your weight. As such, the direction and decisions you have now made for your self and your daughter are fully justified...don't let anyone convince you otherwise.

[What_Next]

BTW, I've been following your stbx's thread, and a lot of the responders don't seem to know the whole story, and all the things you have done to save your M. As such, don't get upset. I on the other hand have been following your posts, and would say that you have done more than all you can to save things. You have definately pulled more than your weight. As such, the direction and decisions you have now made for your self and your daughter are fully justified...don't let anyone convince you otherwise.

 

HopelessinDTW, thanks for the vote of confidence. I appreciate it.

 

I'm good with where I am right now. It might not be perfect, but it is what life has handed me.

[phineas]

Ugh!

My county built a new courthouse.

Lawyer got everything back from Judge in the old court house & now has to file final paperwork at the new court house.

 

seriously. WTF?!?!?

So I won't have word until next week.

I was told it was a done deal & i'd know this week.

 

Honestly i'm feeling a little down about this.

I'm dead in the water.

Don't these people know I need to get laid?

Every decent woman i've met won't do more than hug me until i've got proof that it's 100% done & I really don't care to cruise the bars for one night stands.

 

It's very frustrating to hear woman you like ask you almost daily if you got the letter in the mail.

 

But on the other hand, I'm pretty sure I know what she has in mind when it does show up.

[carhill]

I can't imagine the lack of a court seal inhibiting the care, concern and compassionate physical response of a woman who is genuinely interested in you. They might resist getting more emotionally involved, and I don't blame them, but hugs, kisses and support are well within the envelope IMO and I've gotten plenty in similar circumstances. I sincerely hope you don't think the court seal is going to *suddenly* cause a woman to stick her tongue down your throat and rip her panties off.

 

BTW, if you appear in court when the proceedings are finalized, you usually can get a preliminary copy of the judgment while there. The official recorded copy comes later, in our jurisdiction a couple weeks later.

 

Well, anyway, I can empathize with your frustration. Our D has been a comedy of errors but I'm optimistic

[phineas]

There is touching, hand holding, closeness, hugs, but no kissing.

I've known both of these women long enough & spent enough time with them to say if I do wind up kissing one of them, it will not stop there.

 

My STBXW filed first.

She controls it.

Until it's filed & a matter of public record she can still decide she isn't happy with the agreed upon child support, or the custody, or which nights I have the kids ect. & delay it even longer.

 

I don't believe she will, but why start something with someone when you really arn't %100 certain when it's going to happen?

 

I was told last week it was a done deal.

It isn't.

 

To some people that is a very important detail.