heartbroken21 Posted February 20, 2004 Share Posted February 20, 2004 My girl of 2 yrs broke up with me. She said that she still loves me but she dosn't know if she is IN love with me. I love and care for her so much. I just need some help on how I should play things out in the next days/weeks. What should I do to increase my chances of getting her back Link to post Share on other sites
ldybg51 Posted February 20, 2004 Share Posted February 20, 2004 [font=arial][/font][color=green][/color] you cannot seem to clingy as this will push her away. If she left you because there were things missing in the relationship then you should try to "woo" her again but very lightly. A small boquet of flowers with "thinking of you" may be okay. but then let her have next contact. A few questions though. Did she give you any reasons why she may not be in love anymore or do you have any ideas? Maybe her love just played itself out. Some just arent meant to be together and this will happen. (man I should take my own advice ...) Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 Have no contact with her. So far as you are concerned she does not exist. Play that game. She no longer matters. The more you do not care the more she may begin to once again. Do not even try the mythical "friends" thing (Does not exist so far as I have experienced). Don't say hello even. Odd how things work. In any case, attempting to get over her now will save you heartache down the line. There are no guarantees in feelings. She may never go back with you. This is something we all must go through unfortunately, usually numerous times. Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 What were the circumstances of the breakup? ~V Link to post Share on other sites
ldybg51 Posted February 22, 2004 Share Posted February 22, 2004 [font=century gothic][/font][color=olive][/color] For the best advice we will need to know the circumstances of the breakup But My previous advice was from the heart. This would be what would win me back, but only if I still had some type of feelings for the guy and you said that she said she was Just not sure how she felt. She may have used this line so she didnt have to say, I just dont love you anymore. But usually if someone will say Im just not sure How I feel then this is truly the case. THey are confused. If that is the case and she is just confused the flowers or even just a card, mailed, to her would be nice. When you go with the no contact and the person still has a little bit of feelings for you, then you run the risk of them just getting over you. If you think about it, while you are having no contact arent you getting over them. Yes, Yes You are slowly getting over the person that meant sooo much to you and broke your heart. So if you are getting over them...and they are the one who did the breaking up...then they have even less feelings for you than you do them...then it seems that they would be more likely to get over you. (this is just the way I see it) BUT, if she only used this as a kinder way of saying I just dont feel that way about you anymore, then the flowers or card would be a bad idea because that pushes them farther away. If you do use the no contact in this case it could also just go either way. I personally believe that the best way to go about these delicate situations is to do as follows: -No contact for a week maybe two on YOUR part, But if they call you, say maybe after the third time, answer the phone real casually. And be the first to get off. -Maybe an email just to see how things are going and to check on anything that may have been something they were worried about at the time of you guys break-up. -no contact now unless they contact you and once again very casually and be first to say bye. now just continue this way until something either gives or goes completely away. I think this form of no contact is best becuase the email gives them an in to maybe know that calling you (if they havent been already) would be okay. Then you know if THEY are the one wanting to talk to you instead of maybe just answering your call just because they felt they had to. Now if they do begin calling or emailing then obviously they are not forgetting about you. You just cannot give them to much because then they may think they can have the friendship and not the relationship. This may come about later when all else fails but for now they cannot eat thier cake and keep it too. Link to post Share on other sites
fishman3226 Posted February 22, 2004 Share Posted February 22, 2004 UNfortunate thing is the fact that no matter what, at the end of the day the only thing is that you should look after you and you alone. I am goign thru similar stuff and one moment you think one thing and the next something else. Are you living with her?? Too may people out there in the world in my view think the best way to solve one or two problems is to hurt someone you love. I wish you luck. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted February 22, 2004 Share Posted February 22, 2004 If she doesn't know if she's in love with you, chances are she isn't. You either are or you aren't. Don't pine for her, man, she's probably not gonna come back. True, she could go against all logic and what usually happens, but I really wouldn't count on it. Link to post Share on other sites
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