Feeling sick to my stomach right now.

[nikkir386]

Hey guys, I'm not sure if what I need is advice or to vent, but I need to get this off of my chest before I explode! lol Sorry this is long.

 

Let's see, right now I've been casually dating a guy for a few months who I have a history of friendship with. We met in 2008 when he was on a vacation in FL..he is from NJ. Of course I knew he was on vacation, so while I was attracted to him, I figured it wouldn't work out because of the distance. So instead we just exchanged numbers and began talking. We ended up becoming really good friends. We shared everything with each other, and soon we began talking daily. Sometimes for hours (and I mean HOURS, 3+) at a time. Needless to say, we grew fond of each other.

 

I went up to visit him this year in January. At this point we had only been talking on the phone, but we became curious and wanted to meet up with one another. We ended up having a really awesome time. And we both expressed how hard it would be to go back to reality after I left.

 

After I left, I could tell that he was missing me because he would continue to call me ALL the time. But we never discussed the relationship as being anything more than friendship even though we continued to flirt and develop and emotional attachment to each other. We planned on visiting with each other in the next few months.

 

In May a friend of his offered him a room if he wanted to move to FL. It just so happens that his friend lives only 2 hrs away from me. So he did end up moving and now lives in FL. So since he moved here in early June, we've been hanging out often, and "acting" like a couple. As much as we've talked, I've always been so afraid of rejection (a recurring personal problem) and never asked him how he felt about me in a romantic manner. So we would just continue doing what we are doing.

 

Anyway, this past week I found out that he has had a dating profile on the internet looking for gf's in his new area. It ended up really hurting me, I confronted him about it and he basically said that he cares about me a lot, and has feelings for me, he doesn't want to be committed to someone 2 hrs away from him because he wouldn't be able to trust me, it wouldn't matter who he was dating. (Even though I told him that I would be able to move to his city if he really wanted me to) I feel like the biggest idiot in the world for letting things get to this point and not talking about a commitment or taking things seriously from the get go. Now I'm hopelessly in love with this guy, and there's nothing I can do about it. I left him a message telling him how I felt about him almost a week ago and asking him to talk to me about it, and we've been playing phone tag but I feel like he doesn't really want to talk to me about it. So two years later with this guy and feel like I've lost a great friend. I just don't know what to do right now, I feel crushed and I miss him.