Scared and confused! Need advice on taking a "break"...should I hang in there?

[luvcrazy02]

My boyfriend and I are on a break. He tells me that he's confused about what he wants in life and our relationship. He tells me that he thinks he loves me, but he wants to make sure of how much. We've been together for about 4 months now, and up until now...everything has been great. We've actually have had the relationship where you say "I love you" a billion times a day, and you spend a lot of time together. We've spent practically every day together except for a couple times when he went out with his friends. I don't really have any friends right now, cuz the ones I did have, they all either flaked out or stabbed me in the back. So I find out that he doesn't call his friends to go out because he doesn't want me to sit at home lonely. The one night he went out with his friends...he went to the bars and just stayed out late. At first, I was a little jealous...but I didn't tell him...I just told him to have fun. After a while...I got over it, but I was really bored. We were so close, and now he's so confused about everything. He told me that he thinks things will work out, and we've been planning a trip out of town for the weekend on the first weekend of March. He says that things should be worked out by then.

 

The first day of our break started at like 1pm, cuz we were together talking about it. After a couple of hours, he started calling me. But it wasn't just every so often...we're on day 3 now, and I haven't talked to him yet...but for the past two days...he's been calling me like every 20 to 30 minutes! Last night, I stopped over to talk with his mom, cuz she invited me to, and I told him that I was, cuz he had told me earlier he was going out with friends. So I figured it to be okay to come over, cuz he wasn't going to be there. He never left...when I got there, I went to his room to say hi..not wanting to be rude...I do love him. I stayed at the door, so I wouldn't bug him, but he wanted me to come sit by him. He grabbed me and held me close, and said that he felt safe and relaxed when I was in his arms. I guess he hasn't been sleeping lately, so he asked if I would sit with him until he fell asleep and wake him up in a couple of hours. I did this, and he kept squeezing me and "breathing me in". We have a show that is "ours" and he hasn't watched it for a few days now. He asked me stay until the show was over so he could watch it with me. But he says he won't watch it without me, cuz it isn't right, and it makes him sad. His mom told me that when he came into her office yesterday, that he told her that he missed me. It had only been a day and a half of the break then.

 

What I'm trying to figure out is how to handle this. I've never done the "break" thing before. Should I stop talking to him so much? Should I not see him until he figures things out? Every action he does...tells me that he loves me and wants to be with me...but his mind is telling him that he doesn't know, and he's all confused about everything. I don't know how to do this break thing...it's kinda hard on me right now. I just want to do things right and work things out. He tells me that when he says that he thinks I might be "the one", he feels all warm and fuzzy inside. But he's just affraid. He doesn't want to break up, cuz he doesn't want to loose me if I am the one, but he wants to slow things down and think about things. I kinda feel like a dog waiting for a scrap. But I love him very much, and I don't know how to handle this. I would really like some advice on what I should do! Thx

[Arabess]

Maybe what he is saying....is that he loves and cares about you....but there are still portions of his life which have been left unexplored. In other words, he doesn't want to lose you, but he's not ready for a commitment.

 

IF you guys got married or whatever while he had those reservations....that old 'unfulfilled' feeling may come back on him 5 years down the road. Some people really have a need to 'sow their oats' or whatever you want to call it.

 

I'm not sure how you should handle it. If you really do care about the outcome of his life though.....I think you should give him some space and let him check his life out. Maybe pick a night every once in awhile when you guys could hang out together....and other than that....try some time apart.

 

I wouldn't look at it as a 'dump' or even him saying he wants someone else. All he needs is space to grow up in.