leannemma Posted September 3, 2010 Share Posted September 3, 2010 hey , so me and my friend, lets call him luke just cause i think the names awesome, are really good friends ... we have text everyday, and we usually chat on the phone atleast once a week, for the past 5months ... we talk about everything together, and we have grown really close... we both like eachother as more than just friends, but he is in university thats about 3 hours away from me so we can only meet up about once a month... he's said before that if i lived where he was in uni then we would be together, but he's also said that he doesnt think a relationship would work right now due to the long distance and not being able to see eachother and socialise together. i also think he wants to enjoy himself whilst he's at uni and doesnt want to feel tied down, which i can understand... so, out of the blue yesterday, he asks me what do i think about friends with benefits, and that he wants that between us. i mean we already meet up once a month and a couple of times we've done some pretty steamy kissing and touching but we stopped it because we decided to just be friends... now he wants to be fwb and im not sure what to do?? i mean, i dont want to get too attached to him because i'll end up getting hurt if he meets somebody else. but i dont want to just be friends and let him go either because theres something more than just friends between us... im scared that whatever i choose to do will spoil my awesome relationship with luke now and i want to stay close to him... id really appreciate anyone who can help me?? Thankyou, Leanne x Link to post Share on other sites
Rashad Posted September 3, 2010 Share Posted September 3, 2010 now he wants to be fwb and im not sure what to do?? i mean, i dont want to get too attached to him because i'll end up getting hurt if he meets somebody else. but i dont want to just be friends and let him go either because theres something more than just friends between us... im scared that whatever i choose to do will spoil my awesome relationship with luke now and i want to stay close to him... id really appreciate anyone who can help me?? Thankyou, Leanne x You're thinking on the right track, in order for a fwb relationship to be healthy neither should have feelings for the other and that comes by once every two blue moons... Link to post Share on other sites
lilbunny Posted September 3, 2010 Share Posted September 3, 2010 Honestly I am not at all sold by the whole concept of fwb. If you are genuine friends who care for one another and find each other attractive enough to sleep together then surely that is the foundation of a relationship. Apparently if you have any feelings of warmth or affection for each other then the fwb situation won't work. If you have none of these sorts of feelings then it can work, but I can't see where the friendship bit comes in, it is just a ONS but played on repeat. I can only speak for myself, but I think they are one to avoid because they are so potentially messy. I don't think I could sleep with a friend and not develop attachment. I don't think I could sleep with someone I felt nothing for and maintain a good self image. It sounds like you really like this bloke. I think if you ever want a more regular form of relationship in the future then I would stay out of any sort of arrangement. You still might not get it together, but that way you keep your friend and aren't putting yourself in a position to get hurt. Hold out, if he feels anything for you he might make the extra push and respect you more for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted September 4, 2010 Share Posted September 4, 2010 I have never had FWB and at first I thought that, if I was fulfilled with my life, then i would not need to form an attatchment..... The thing I have realized, is that if u form a connection, which a respectable person needs in order to sleep and be intimate with some one, that it is prob not POSSIBLE to not get hurt. If they got a girlfriend, u would care. Especially if she was hot and thin. U would feel awful. ESPECIALLY if u DID go further with himn and he got a girlfriend! cos THEN u would think about him being intimant with another girl! Tell him u have feelings, that will get hurt if he goes and gets another girl. Time is the only way to get over him. No matter how close you are, you will not get over him until U spent TIME away from him. If he wants u and cannot live without u in that way, he can ask u out and bloody well commit. It will suck avoiding him but it is ESSENTIAL. JUST THINK though: what u feel for this guy, is a wonderful thing u will ALSO be able to look forward to having again, with another guy one day! So you still have that feeling to look fwd to again. Link to post Share on other sites
jamesum Posted September 4, 2010 Share Posted September 4, 2010 The most idiotic thing women tend to do is getting into an FWB relationship in the hope that it will turn into something more. Its like taking Geography major in the hope of becoming an accountant. Link to post Share on other sites
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