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Sick of family bs


SarahRose

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Long story short. The kids dad dies a few months ago. Son was living with his dad. Apartment finds out he died and they kick adult son out. Son is finishing a house arrest for drink driving. Daughter say son can live with her so he moves in and all is good. A week before he is to get off house arrest daughter goes visits grandma for a weekend. She meets up with high school boyfriend. They get engaged that weekend. She comes back and gets her and grandsons clothes and leaves just leaving her brother there with the guy she had been living with for years. She said she was getting married in a month. I think she is doing drugs as her behavior is very erractic. I tell her there is no way I can make it so a wedding in the US in 3 weeks time. Unlike some people I do have a responsible job and obligations and cant just leave on a whim. So she moves the date to early next year.

 

I think it is really rotten her just leaving her brother stranded like she has. His house arrest will be over in a couple days and the boyfriend said he had to leave although he has been paying rent etc. He won't be able to drive for another 6 months. He has a dog he wont get rid of and that is why he can't stay with friends. I don't know where he is going to find a place to stay with no job and not being able to drive.

 

I feel like I should do something but don't know what.

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How old is your son? Did the house arrest mean that he could not work, or is there another reason he isn't working?

 

I don't think it is fair to expect his sister to rescue him (esp since it sounds like she has issues of her own....). He's made some bad decisions, and he needs to start making good choices on his own. Your role now needs to be moral support, helping him brainstorm solutions to his problem. Make him feel capable, and help him see his available options clearly. Don't let any of the blame for his situation fall on his sister. He needs to take full responsibility for his own situation.

 

The dog may have to go. Frankly, he hasn't earned dog privileges, if he can not support himself. Tough love, baby. Time for him to see the realities, and solve problems.

 

Sorry about the kid drama. It has got to be tough, esp when you aren't there to see them in person and know they are ok (((hug))).

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