Why do people commit suicide?

[FireDragonBL]

Hmmm...suicide...chrono, why the hell are you talking about suicide when you came here for your questions on professing love...? ...what did you get on the DPS questions?

 

or did she already reply? ^_^

 

Nah, I doubt she'd be mean...and say no...heck she probably returns the feelings

lol...

 

hmmm...still haven't finished the freaking poems...not even close cuz i had to study a lot...

-BL

[herbalyyys]

Originally posted by dsbs39

"They don't do it to try to purposely hurt anyone." My father, almost twenty years ago killed himself. The question that will haunt me for the rest of my life, and no one can answer is, wasn't he thinking of the people who loved him, like me?

His actions did hurt someone....he died one month before I graduated from high school, and left me, my mother and his sister upset and confused. His actions left a rift between my aunt and I. I loved my father but what he did was selfish. There is a reason why world religions consider suicide a sin.

 

I understand that people are in pain, but once someone you know, someone close to you takes their life, it leaves a scar that never heals.

 

If ya want to bring religion in to it...maybe look at it as possibly God told him it was time.I dont know what you believe spiritually, but who is to say that God was NOT present? I too have had my Grandfather take his own life recently.so much pain he was in, and from a Catholic family, good bunch of family, he couldnt go on anymore and shot himself.I just figured God or Devine Presence told him it was time to end this life.it gave my Mom comfort. And some people are just not thinking "right" and pain or drugs or depression clouds their judgement.Do you think Gods gonna deny someone entrance to the heavens because they were not thinking right? I submit He will let them in. keep yourself at peace, and move on.

[sylviaguardian]

I am so sorry for all of you who have suffered the loss of someone from suicide. My friend's sister committed suicide and I know how much it messed up her whole family (and still messes them up 10 years later).

 

I don't know why people commit suicide. All I can say is that there seem to be people who think about suicide and those who just don't consider it an option. Maybe it's to do with self-esteem, I am not sure. I have been suicidal many times before and sometimes it's just the thought of my family's pain that has brought me to my senses. I would add though, that sometimes I have thought that they would be better off without me.

 

There is no point in 'blaming' people who commit suicide. When you have reached that level it's difficult to see the point in continuing. Also. when you are down, it becomes a vicious circle. You can see the negative effect of your depression on others. It can't be fun for a kid to live with a depressive parent, so you carry that guilt and shame around with you too. For those who have lost parents to suicide, I would say that they probably were thinking of you but convinced themselves that they were making your life more miserable by being around.

 

Sylvia

[JackieQ]

I'm not sure I have a lot to add to what's been said. I agree with Hokey that suicide is a lot more complicated than one person selfishly hurting the other people in his or her life. Feeling bad all the time with literally no letup just plain sucks the life blood out of you. I would imagine that being hurt because someone you know has committed suicide does the same. Selfish or not, the feelings are there and IMO you have to deal with them somehow. They don't just go away.

 

I will say (and I am speaking from my own experience here) not to give up. For me, it took several therapists and finally taking Zoloft before I felt better. I looked at depression as a weakness that I should just be able "turn off" for a long time. Now I look at it as something I just deal with. Like diabetes, the medicine helps me control an imbalance. Some days it still creeps back but mostly I'm OK. I've learned that therapists don't have the magic answers. A lot depends on their own life experiences, education, and just plain ability to relate to you (sometimes you can connect to a person and sometimes you can't). I finally found a therapist that "gets" me and has helped me tremendously. If it's not a therapist maybe it's a friend or a pastor or a self help book or just setting goals as a previous LSer wrote. There's always one more thing you can try. Suicide is final and leaves you without other options.

[Groovy]

I think thoughts of sucide in our lives are a lot more common than people recognize. I know about 18 years ago I considered it. I think a lot of us have or will somewhere in our life. But most of us don't finalize it and years down the road we look back happy we are here today!

[AmHopeful]

I've been very depressed for the last 4+ months and I must admit that I have already formulated a plan. I am only alive today because I am trying to fight my internal pains with some of the coping skills I have learned from others, but I do find that I cannot "relate/connect" with folks who have not been where I am now.

 

It's been very challenging to talk to others when all they do is judge, ridicule and call me "weak." This is not helpful and only encourages me that killing myself is the right thing to do to end my pain. Yes, it's selfish for me to want to end my pain, but there's little or nothing I can do to help others when I'm hurting so, so much. I have tried reaching out but only get harsh criticism rather than support.

 

So when I hear about suicide stories my heart always goes out to both sides- regardless. We need more understanding- this is how I try to get by.

[Fuzzy Chickens]

Sometimes life sucks so much that you'd rather not do it anymore, and nothing you do can improve your situation.

 

Some people have legitimate reasons for killing themselves, others don't.

[moimeme]

You never know what will happen tomorrow. If you leave the planet, you cut off any chance that something wonderful will happen. And there will certainly be a tomorrow that something wonderful will happen on.

 

Depression makes you believe there is no future, or that the future will be endlessly bleak. That's a lie perpetrated by the depression. It's completely untrue. You can't possibly imagine what the future will be.

 

Please read http://www.metanoia.org if you are feeling suicidal. Stick around. See what'll happen. Good things are in the future. Just because you can't imagine it right now doesn't mean it's not true!

[AmHopeful]

Moimeme- how are you certain that the future actually holds something of promise? Seriously, if each day that has passed is not any better than the day before why do you think that will change? I've been in a state of flux and depression for 4+ months- I'm still waiting for something wonderful to happened. Now with the V-holiday coming up, I'm feeling even worse.

 

Although I want to believe there's going to be something good coming, it's becoming more and more challenging-

[moimeme]

Moimeme- how are you certain that the future actually holds something of promise?

 

Because it always does. It's inevitable. It's a fact of life.

 

Seriously, if each day that has passed is not any better than the day before why do you think that will change?

 

Because there is no law or rule, scientific, historical, or otherwise, that states the future will be a repeat of the past. It's just the depression making you believe that. It's a total lie. Yesterday they announced one of the most promising discoveries in cancer treatment yet. Before yesterday, it looked like this sort of treatment was still a long time away. Now it is a couple years away. Life changes every single day but the one thing for sure is that just because it happened before does not mean it will happen again!

 

I've been in a state of flux and depression for 4+ months- I'm still waiting for something wonderful to happened. Now with the V-holiday coming up, I'm feeling even worse.

 

Everybody goes through down periods. You're in your boat in the ocean in a storm. You strap yourself to the mast and hang on and eventually the storm passes. It always does. Some people are depressed for years but they come out of it and have great lives. Think of people like Nelson Mandela. He was in jail for years and years. He could have given up after four months and decided life would never change but he was eventually released and has lived a happy life outside jail for a long time.

 

You can't just give up because you're going through a bad patch. It will end and you'll be delighted you didn't quit.

 

But if you haven't sought professional help, do it today. Sometimes our chemicals go awry and we need a medical boost to get them working again. If your serotonin is too low, that will affect your mood and thinking. It's just chemical!!! Don't let a couple unbalanced chemicals take over your life. Fight back - get help. Take meds if you need to. This is not the 'real' you, trust me.

 

You get PMS, right? Do you have those days where every single thing makes you weepy? You watch a sentimental ad and you're reaching for the kleenexes? And then a few days later you wonder why you were so easily turned to tears? Well, that's serotonin for you. It's a really good example of how your chemicals will affect you when out of balance and how much better you feel when they're fixed. You can affect your own chemistry by managing your balances of carbs (carbs raise serotonin levels, so if you're on a low-carb diet, quit it) but sometimes they're too far out of balance and you need meds to sort them out again.

 

It's not that life is that bad, AmHopeful, it's that your outlook is poisoned by a chemical imbalance. If you get that fixed, you'll be better able to deal with disappointments and to look forward to your future.

[AmHopeful]

Beautifully said.

 

I'm in therapy but I'm having other weight problems so it's a NO for the drugs until I can gain another 10lbs at least. So here's to stuffing my face

 

thanks!

[moimeme]

Then stuff your face with carbs and add some Omega oils. You need protein, too, of course, but aim for a goodly amount of complex carbs as well as some flat-out goodie-type carbs. It's almost magic how the right amounts of the right foods can change your mood. Don't go hungry, get enough sleep, and be sure to eat well and even doing those things will help somewhat.

 

Good luck to you and check in again if you need pep talks.

[Fuzzy Chickens]

Moimeme, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you obviously haven't the slightest clue how the real world works. The only inevitable fact of life is that it eventually ends, NOT that it gets better. A person's life can get crappier and crappier until they die. No magical force of nature prevents this from happening. If the chance that your life will get worse outweighs the chance that it will get better, the only sane thing to do is minimize your losses.

 

Also, past events do determine future events. It's called causality. If the sun rises and sets every day (except in antarctica...), then it's quite reasonable to assume that the same will occur tomorrow. Objects in motion tend to stay in motion et cetera.

 

And Serotonin makes you happy, not sad.

 

So in short, STFU, stop watching Teletubbies, read one or two pages in a first -grade science book, and return when you have something to say that is actually based on fact.

[moimeme]

Moimeme, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you obviously haven't the slightest clue how the real world works.

 

Yeah. Thanks for that. You're, however, dead wrongo.

 

A person's life can get crappier and crappier until they die.

 

It might, but you can't tell that until you've died.

 

If the chance that your life will get worse outweighs the chance that it will get better, the only sane thing to do is minimize your losses.

 

Sorry but that's completely illogical. You simply cannot predict the future.

 

Also, past events do determine future events. It's called causality. If the sun rises and sets every day (except in antarctica...), then it's quite reasonable to assume that the same will occur tomorrow. Objects in motion tend to stay in motion et cetera.

 

Those are laws of physics. They don't apply to situations which occur in people's lives. To equate the two is fallacious.

 

And Serotonin makes you happy, not sad.

 

I didn't say otherwise. I related serotonin to PMS. It is the drop in serotonin caused by the menstrual cycle that causes troubles for women.

 

So in short, STFU, stop watching Teletubbies, read one or two pages in a first -grade science book, and return when you have something to say that is actually based on fact.

 

Everything I sad was indeed based on fact. Your theory is pure speculation.

 

Once again,

 

there is no law or rule, scientific, historical, or otherwise, that states the future will be a repeat of the past. It's just the depression making you believe that. It's a total lie

 

 

__________________

Uhhh... the white rabbit followed ME. What does THAT mean?

[AmHopeful]

M-

 

You have to admit though people do have bad days and good days, or even okay days filled with good, bad and indifferent events. It's different for everyone.

 

For me- it's such a toss up these days. When my H is around I'm okay, even good - when he's gone I'm miserable. When he's drunk and we get into an argument then I just want to die. When he chooses to be present and we do share openly in a discussion- I feel hopeful. It's just another day-

[moimeme]

You have to admit though people do have bad days and good days, or even okay days filled with good, bad and indifferent events. It's different for everyone.

 

Well of course. But that's just it. EVERYONE has bad days so having some bad days or weeks or even months is no reason to kill yourself. The good days always come back.

[blind_otter]

does it get better??

 

I mean what if things just are bad cyclically. Every few months, same ****, same problems - not mental necessarily, but physical ailments.

 

It's an issue with a lot of chronically ill people. You start to think about what a burden you are, to yur family, friends, you can't keep it together to even be able to walk to the bathroom by yourself and you spend yournights laying awake, staring at the ceiling, thinking - I am a burden to my family, my friends have abandoned me because I am sick all the time...what is the point? My end to suffering will happen when i die, pretty much.

 

When do I become more of a liability than an asset? My mind is becoming mush from the brain damage and seizurs. I can think - I am aware - but I can't walk straight, i can't see straight, i take handfuls of pills every day.

 

I wouldn't kill myself. But sometimes i see why people do. I get so tired, so so tired of fighting all the time. Tired of being sick. And I do think about how it might feel to NOT be sick, to just not be. And sometimes that alternative looks more tempting than existing in this foul existence ofmine.

[tattoomytoe]

Originally posted by blind_otter

does it get better??

 

I mean what if things just are bad cyclically. Every few months, same ****, same problems - not mental necessarily, but physical ailments.

 

It's an issue with a lot of chronically ill people. You start to think about what a burden you are, to yur family, friends, you can't keep it together to even be able to walk to the bathroom by yourself and you spend yournights laying awake, staring at the ceiling, thinking - I am a burden to my family, my friends have abandoned me because I am sick all the time...what is the point? My end to suffering will happen when i die, pretty much.

 

When do I become more of a liability than an asset? My mind is becoming mush from the brain damage and seizurs. I can think - I am aware - but I can't walk straight, i can't see straight, i take handfuls of pills every day.

 

I wouldn't kill myself. But sometimes i see why people do. I get so tired, so so tired of fighting all the time. Tired of being sick. And I do think about how it might feel to NOT be sick, to just not be. And sometimes that alternative looks more tempting than existing in this foul existence ofmine.

b_o- it CAN get better. but YOU have to make the changes so that it can get better.

 

if you re in a crappy mood, doing crappy things, eating crappy stuff, thinking crappy thoings....Everything will seem Crappy. It is all relative.

[Bronzepen]

Originally posted by blind_otter

does it get better??

 

I mean what if things just are bad cyclically. Every few months, same ****, same problems - not mental necessarily, but physical ailments.

 

It's an issue with a lot of chronically ill people. You start to think about what a burden you are, to yur family, friends, you can't keep it together to even be able to walk to the bathroom by yourself and you spend yournights laying awake, staring at the ceiling, thinking - I am a burden to my family, my friends have abandoned me because I am sick all the time...what is the point? My end to suffering will happen when i die, pretty much.

 

When do I become more of a liability than an asset? My mind is becoming mush from the brain damage and seizurs. I can think - I am aware - but I can't walk straight, i can't see straight, i take handfuls of pills every day.

 

I wouldn't kill myself. But sometimes i see why people do. I get so tired, so so tired of fighting all the time. Tired of being sick. And I do think about how it might feel to NOT be sick, to just not be. And sometimes that alternative looks more tempting than existing in this foul existence ofmine.

 

 

Blind_Otter, your putting a price on yourself.

 

How do you feel? Like a million bucks or half of a counterfit penny?

 

Does it matter? You make it what it is.

 

Let me explain. Do you think anyone will want to trade places with you? Your first impulse will be to say no. But how about a terminally ill patient. Do you think that person will trade places with you?

 

How about a blind person, mute, deaf etc.... How about a parapalegic?

 

Yes, what you have may not be everyone's cup of tea but never look at it like your a burden or a liability.

 

Like you said, you can think, your aware. You have a job. You pay your bills. You go out on the weekends. You have a life that most people would want but cannot have because of some bed ridden ailment or disability.

 

 

Yes it's fine to feel down once in a while but never stay down. Pick yourself up like you have done before.

 

Always feel like a million bucks and don't worry about how others might feel about you or look at you.

 

Read the book (if you haven't read it already) Tuesday's with Morrie. It will put things in perspective for you and maybe inspire you.

 

Remember, your never alone and your not a burden.

[moimeme]

You start to think about what a burden you are, to yur family, friends, you can't keep it together to even be able to walk to the bathroom by yourself and you spend yournights laying awake, staring at the ceiling, thinking - I am a burden to my family, my friends have abandoned me because I am sick all the time...what is the point? My end to suffering will happen when i die, pretty much.

 

Your very existence is important to your family and your friends. You are not a burden. Everybody is short of time and lots of people may not be able to afford the time you need, but they need to know you are still on the planet.

 

When do I become more of a liability than an asset? My mind is becoming mush from the brain damage and seizurs. I can think - I am aware - but I can't walk straight, i can't see straight, i take handfuls of pills every day.

 

Science is coming up with cures and new and better solutions every day. That's the wonderful thing about being alive at this point in time; knowledge is growing exponentially. They will very likely discover better treatments for you - maybe even a cure! And it won't take decades like it used to.

 

I wouldn't kill myself. But sometimes i see why people do. I get so tired, so so tired of fighting all the time. Tired of being sick. And I do think about how it might feel to NOT be sick, to just not be. And sometimes that alternative looks more tempting than existing in this foul existence ofmine

 

This, too, shall pass. As I said to someone else recently, think of Nelson Mandela. He was in jail for years and years. Can't think of a life much worse than that. But he didn't quit or give up and he's been free now for years.

 

You can't allow yourself to think that this is all there will ever be. If you were a good old-fashioned Catholic, I could suggest you 'offer up' your suffering. That's what used to help some people persevere; the idea that their own suffering was a sacrifice sort of like Jesus' .

 

You're very bright. You have a lot to live for. Grit your teeth and hang on when it gets yucky because good stuff does come and if you go away, you don't get to enjoy and cherish the good stuff. Plus, you cut off all the possibilities. Don't do that to yourself. This, too, shall pass.

[_Saffy_]

This is an interesting thread, there are a lot of mixed feelings being thrown around.

 

Angry, sad, confused, bitter.

 

But the truth is, despite the thoughts that people have on suicide, none of us here have been so low as to go through with it completely. So none of us can actually say what has gone on inside the minds of those that succeeded.

 

Yes, we can all say, I have been depressed and so low that I had THOUGHTS of committing suicide. Some can even say that they attempted it......but the reason for this thread was originally because someone had jumped from a window that ensured they would be successful. It wasnt an attempt it was a success.

 

You all remember how low you were when you thought about it, when you planned it, when you even tried, but the people that succeed must be even lower.

 

The truth is, we dont understand. They probably dont understand themselves.

[AmHopeful]

This past Saturday night, I was in the lowest state I've even been in, I was a step away from death. The only reason I didn't follow through was I wasn't a 100% sure I would be successful. I don't want to try and fail, and suffer even more than what I am feeling now. When I'm more prepared, I want to end it and let it be my final statement.

 

Today, I am not as close as I was Saturday night, but am more clear about what I may have to do to be 100% sucessful. It's an awful state to be in and unfortunately I've visited it often. It's the most awful hurt and all I want to do is end the pain.

[Feeling Lonely]

I've been there as well.

 

I have been suffering from clinical depression for 2 years, i've been taking overdoses and cutting my arms for years. Not really wanting to die, but as a cry for help. Sometimes i just feel so misunderstood and that i have no one to talk to, yet i know that in reality i have my friends and family to talk to and even have two cousellors.

 

A couple of weeks ago i had a huge arguement with my ex boyfriend (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56861/) and on numerous occasions tried to throw myself down the stairs, i knew i didn't want to die, (if i was that desperate i could walk down the road and onto some train tracks) but i tried to because i wanted to be in hospital, i figured the only thing that could get to me then would be my thoughts and i'd feel a lot better. Now i think about it that probably wouldn't of happened, my overactive imagination would have driven me crazy.

 

And i am proud to say that it has been 10 (more or less) days since i last self harmed!

[jade_nc]

when i came home from my college classes, i was tired. i was mentally, emotionally, and physically drained. all i wanted to do was go to sleep and not wake up.

 

i didn't say "hey, i'm going to kill myself today". i hadn't been contemplating it for days or weeks or months, it just happened. i wasn't thinking about the impact on my family or friends. i wasn't thinking about anything really, except that i wanted to sleep.......and not have to wake up and go through it all again the next day.

 

by the grace of god, i survived. then the realization of my actions took hold......how could i have done that to my family?

 

this is just what happened to me so i can't speak for all that attempt or commit suicide......i didn't know what lead me to do it until many many months afterward. i was married to a verbally, emotionally abuse man at the time. my best friend had abandoned me for marrying him. my parents were condemning me for the decisions i was making in my personal life. my in-laws were constantly putting me down, even in front of my husband. i was struggling with my college courses and even had a professor who told me to "drop out now".

 

when i approached my friends or family members about my problems, i got no support, no sympathy, no advice, no compassion......they thought i was only venting. they didn't realize how destroyed i was inside.

 

eventually - i had to make a conscious mental and physical break from everyone that i was close to. i had to do that so that i could find my own self-worth. so that i could convince myself that i WAS worth living in this world. that i deserved better because i was a good person. so that i could learn that my choices - everyday - had a direct impact on my happiness and well being and that i was in control of those choices.

 

when you are told regularly and repeatedly that you're a failure, that you'll never amount to anything, that you're stupid, and that you aren't good enough - and when these comments come from the people in your life that you love the most - you start to believe it. and once you've started believing it - it's incredibly difficult to convince yourself otherwise.

[moimeme]

AM HOPEFUL

It's the most awful hurt and all I want to do is end the pain.

 

The pain WILL end. Suicide is NOT the solution. Please read http://www.metanoia.org

 

Look, the pain is NOW, not FOREVER. If you kill yourself, you solve the NOW but you wipe out your whole forever - that's craziness. PAIN PASSES. It always does. LS is full of folks who have been utterly, horribly miserable for chunks of their lives but refused to quit and found out that it DOES get better.

 

Please get help.