Why do people commit suicide?

[Bronzepen]

Selfish implies, putting yourself first before others. IMO, this is not the case of a person committing suicide.

 

The person believes that they are actually helping others by ending their suffering. They want to stop hurting others by their actions or inactions. Of course, I have no way of knowing but IMO, the person knows that the friends/family will be hurt by his/her death but for the person , the greater pain is having family/friends deal with someone who is "useless" (in their mind) and a burden. They have convinced themselves of this, regardless of how their family/friends feel about them.

 

There are many factors and scenario's for why a person is suicidal but I believe the bases is that the person has lost their sense of value and purpose, as well as hope.

[Aonz]

If your never going to be happy here, then why waste time waiting to die when you could be in Heaven?

 

Wouldn't the Earth be better off without humans?

 

Just a thought.

[moimeme]

If your never going to be happy here

 

That is a fallacious assumption. You cannot possibly know what will happen in an hour, much less forever.

 

Aonz, if you are feeling this way, please get help. I recall one of your very first posts was something along these lines.

[Tony T]

"Wouldn't the Earth be better off without humans?"

 

Interesting thought...keep them coming!

[dyermaker]

"Wouldn't the Earth be better off without humans?"

 

Won't we never know? Other animals don't care about the welfare of the entire planet, on the rare occaision that a human does, they're the only arbiter of betterness.

[Aonz]

[kosta]

Originally posted by ladyangel

People who commit suicide are not in their right mind at the time. They don't do it to try to purposely hurt anyone. They are in the depths of depression and don't know of a way out.

 

I don't want to hurt my family, but I hurt myself by living. How do I deal with that? I was reading how males commit suicides more successfully than females 4-1 because us guys don't think of the others in our lives. I'm asking why do I think like females and consider my family and all others I know care for me?

Sometimes I wish I had no family and nobody, that would make the decision much easier on me. All I would have to decide later would be the method. BUT NO. I have a loving family, and I happen to be so comfoting to other people that I cannot choose the selfish choice that is suicide. I hate myself. That is all I'll speak of for many more reasons cloud this 20-year-old "boy's" mind.

 

Thankyou for allowing this conversation to take place.

[kosta]

All I have to say next, is that I will become a statistic If I commit suicide. Because I will not even attempt it unless I mean to finish what I start.

 

All my life I was sheltered. I dont even know how to interact with other people anymore. I only feel somewhat comfortable comunicating through the computer. no longer face to face. or through the tele. I have managed to become so hopelessly dependent that I recently HAD to ask for someone to come with me just to go to the bank!

 

I am afraid to go back to school. I dropped out of college, and am afraid to even consider community college. and I dont know how learn anymore, I dont know what work means (like learning, doing anything i dont know how.)

[Moose]

but I hurt myself by living.

 

Care to elaborate?

[kosta]

i dont really mean physically hurting myself. more emotional. besides, with my imagination, i can see anything as a possibility in life. I can see false corporations making it big. I can see like my sister's friend becoming as big a filmmaker as steven spielberg. I have an imagination and a humor, and my therapist says that is what saves my life, but i dont care for my life. I cant do anything. all my life meant nothing. all i did was homework. homework is so point-less in my life. where would i need to know howthe french revolution took place.

 

 

I can imagine hurting myself, but refuse to do it physically (it will hurt, so no). kinda like, i scold myself for even thinking it. I kinda go back and forth. Good vs. Bad sort of trend.

 

1/3 of time i am happy

1/3 of time i am sad

1/3 of time i am unknown

and I am confused 100% of the time.

 

I probably do not make any sense, do I?

[greenhorn]

Well saw this post today only.

 

I have thought of commiting suicide so i can give few reasons why i thought and why i didnt do it.

 

For the past one year i was going on a roller coaster ride in my personal relationship and this was hurting me much more than anything in this world.

 

I wanted to commit suicide and but each time thought of my family and my parents and i then thought that i would be selfish to do so as they would have taken so much hardship to bring me up and when time has come for me to do something for them i am ditching them.This logic stopped me always and how much i wanted to be a teenager so that i could not think this much and do it.Anyway this reasoning was infallible for me and it stopped me everytime.

 

But of late the pain became so much that i was almost trapped could not do anything neither i was able to come out of relationship and nor i could be at ease for one day. I was just helpless and thought that i cant live like this and then my OWN LOGIC came but i think now i was becoming more and more determined to do it.So i started that whether i am a coward or i dont have the guts to do this and i am hiding behind my own logic.

 

Then i thought may be i can do it if i can arrrange everything for my family before i can do it.I took out two Life Insurance policy in my name and thought i will commit suicide in a manner that it wont look like suicide something like a deliberate road accident cause i read through the Insurance policy that your policy becomes void if you commit suicide.

 

Then i changed my job to the one where i could earn as much in 2 years as i could earn in 10 years and thought i would leave all the money for my family.Ofcourse for this i had to leave my own country and now i am in a foreign country.I did all these planning that after 2 years i would have settled everything and then i can die.

 

While i was doing this midway suddenly one day something happened in my relationship and i could not bear any more and i thougth this is the day.But one of my friend (colleague) sensed it and asked me what was wrong i told him and cried and i knew i was going to do something wrong but i had to do it but then we went to see a doctor and the doctor referred me to Mental ward and i was kept there for 3 days and given lot of pills ,sleeping pills sedatives and anti -depressants and i am still on anti-depressants more than a month after that.

 

But one good thing happened when i talked to the doctor that i was finally able to break off my relationship though it hurts but it is better than pain of everyday.I was perviously like getting hurt then composing myself then again getting hurt and again composing .Now i am off the roller coaster i am hurt and i am in pain but its different kind of after the breakup.

 

 

Well this is how i m living till today and since the relationship has ended so my condition can now not get worse than this so i guess i would be living for rest of my days as well.

[Groovy]

In anyone I have known who thinks of suicide usually has a drug and/or alcohol problem. That can make your world darker than night with no way out it seems and change people tremendously. And I think a lot of people who have addictions make attempts to self medicate manic depressions, anxieties, etc. Which just causes it to spiral downward and crash. Agreeed too though that there is guilt in people who think about suicide, they feel burdensome. They may be great people but something happened they refuse to forgive themselves for. I've had to watch this in someone very close to me who has recently attempted it and I had to call the police. I agree, people need to give themselves second chances and get help because they deserve to live and who knows after all that struggle where they may be some day. Many people, including celebrities, etc have admitted thinking of it and being very happy later in their lives.

[moimeme]

Please, if you are thinking of ending your life, read http://www.metanoia.org

 

When you are depressed, the world closes in on you until you cannot see the future. You think forever will be black because today is black and you are incapable of seeing tomorrow and next year. But beyond the black curtain is a good life and it's waiting for you. Believe it even if you can't see it. Stick around just for today, and then tomorrow stick around again just for the day. And do that the next day. Put one foot in front of the other, keep going to therapy, and eventually you'll find you have climbed out of the pit. You can do it.

[kosta]

but it's weird. I have had a so-called "H-A-P-P-I" life growing up, but after some reading in books, I find out out that I was only protecting myself from whatever threats I perceived. Accordingly, these threats were nutralized through the actions I took (example being not speaking without raising hand in school, or keeping quiet in class, allowing others to pick on me, crying myself to sleep, et cetera).

And in the end, I learned to keep a smile on my face for the people around me, incuding those that took advantage of my emotions (damn those kids. why was i so mature for my age to notice the bullying and isolation going on around me?). And It went FROM preschool to 12grade High School. that's over a decades worth of mentall decay, that I cannot be rid of.

It me 4YEARS to get rid of 1-1.5 year incident at aboarding school that could have put me in jail LEGALLY! That year (the 911 bombing/airplane jacking) was not so friendly for hitlist makers like I. That's right I did something stupid. At that time, including now with this writing, I was and still am in my LOWS. I am so low, I can say that those airplane incidents could have been a good thing and I would not care of the people dead, died, dying , and still grieving.

 

I know my words are cruel. I know I might be writing a little bit inapropriate spelling/repeated words. But I thought I was getting better but am not. I used to have a set pattern ONLY RECENTLY.

 

IT was Tuesday-friday=GOODDAYS

SAT-TUES=BADDAYS

 

But only a week or 2 ago, My sister woke me up in the morning for something. And so I woke and got ready. ANd later went with her to parents' Pizza place they ownm. I asked mty mom why i HAD to be here. She said i didnt have to be there at all! I BLAME MY SISTER FOR MY BROKEN PATTERN!!!!!

 

I talked to my therapist cause i have his cell#. and i told him i was going to kill my sis. next time i saw him, he asked if i remember saying that.

I Didn't.

 

where was I? where was I going?

[kosta]

I also have to say that, whatever I have felt before, or over the years, I have been declining in my attachement to other people/communities/society. I used to talk to people even if they not wanted to talk to me. now i dont talk to people who like.me. I feel so empty. no feeling.

 

 

I cant enjoy playing my games. I have no will/motivation to try to learn anything. Having depression al ur life, u notice everything. I notice how I dont care anything anymore, anyhow, anywhere.

 

I dont belong anywhere. No, I wish i could go to institue with white walls. then i can be reminded of boarding school/college. and there, i know i would not be alone(mentally/emotionally). i dont belong in society, i like to use internet for music/movies, so i am in thevery. that is not a trait for society. so i dont belong. all i can do is

 

play video games

home theatres

build things from the grounds up

probably everything.

 

BUT NO ONE PERSON CAN DO MANYTHINGS. we can only do one thing in life.why?

why do schools teach us only to do limited things in life? I can only do what people tell me.

 

Sometimes i think it would be good for me to go into the services of the US (like army, marine, navy)BUT THEY dont accept people with problems with mentall/physicall deprevations (i think that's the right word.)

 

I think that's discrimanation against us, right? So what if i have depression and whatever else i dont know i have.(iwill be going to another doctor just to test for Bipolar/add/adhd, et cetera)

 

I will be checking on disability from the government for what I have got.

well, i think i forgot what i was talking about again.

[Moose]

Ok, I don't mean to sound mean at all, but I noticed a trend in these posts. It seems to me that everyone is talking about themselves.....me, me, me......that's kinda selfish isn't it?

 

Just because you're miserable with how your life is going, it's selfish of you to not think about how others feel. Everyone here has a Mother, and a Father....whether they're living or not it doesn't matter. You are still obligated to be the best person you can be, to them.

 

Also, get a pet for goodness sake. That way you'll have a responsibility to keep that pet alive, groomed and give it the best chance at perfect health it can possibly have. Stop thinking only about yourselves because you all dwell on it too much.

 

Find something to take your mind off of it. Get some paxil, wellebutrin, or whatever your Doctor thinks would help if you have a chemical imbalance.

 

Sorry to sound so harsh, but this world doesn't revolve around you.

 

Even the most well rounded individual can bring themselves down into a deep depression if all they think about is the negatives in their life.

[Lil Honey]

Originally posted by dsbs39

"They don't do it to try to purposely hurt anyone." My father, almost twenty years ago killed himself. The question that will haunt me for the rest of my life, and no one can answer is, wasn't he thinking of the people who loved him, like me?

 

dsbs39:

 

It could very well be that your father truely was thinking of the people who loved him and those that he loved. From personal experience, in a twisted way he may have felt that the people he loved were "better off" without him or he didn't feel worthy of that love.

 

Depression and thoughts of suicide are very dark. It gets to the point where it looks like there is only one solution to the darkness, pain, and quiet desperation . . .

[moimeme]

BUT NO ONE PERSON CAN DO MANYTHINGS. we can only do one thing in life.why?

 

That's not true at all!!! People can do many, many, many things. All they have to do is want to and then learn how.

 

Kosta, you have a lot of troubles, and you're doing the right thing seeing a therapist. I suspect your brain chemicals are scrambled. Are you on any meds at all?

 

Humans like to think they are in control of all their thoughts and feelings, but we are just hunks of meat with chemicals and electricity to make us function. Sometimes the chemicals get messed up, and that can actually make you think things that aren't true and even believe them - things like that you are not worthy or that life is bad. You need to try to remember that these things are just an illusion concocted by the bunged-up chemicals and that they can be put right again with the right meds. Your therapist will help you cope with the situation. You can't allow the thoughts that make life bad to win because they aren't from the 'real' you. They're because the chemicals that make your thinking clear aren't in balance.

 

Don't mind Moose, by the way. You're not being selfish on purpose, but do try to remember that a lot of the things bothering you are just your brain in trouble and if you can find maybe a hobby or a sport or something to think about more rather than thinking so much about you, you might feel better.

[blind_otter]

Originally posted by Moose

Ok, I don't mean to sound mean at all, but I noticed a trend in these posts. It seems to me that everyone is talking about themselves.....me, me, me......that's kinda selfish isn't it?

 

Just because you're miserable with how your life is going, it's selfish of you to not think about how others feel. Everyone here has a Mother, and a Father....whether they're living or not it doesn't matter. You are still obligated to be the best person you can be, to them.

 

Also, get a pet for goodness sake. That way you'll have a responsibility to keep that pet alive, groomed and give it the best chance at perfect health it can possibly have. Stop thinking only about yourselves because you all dwell on it too much.

 

Find something to take your mind off of it. Get some paxil, wellebutrin, or whatever your Doctor thinks would help if you have a chemical imbalance.

 

Sorry to sound so harsh, but this world doesn't revolve around you.

 

Even the most well rounded individual can bring themselves down into a deep depression if all they think about is the negatives in their life.

 

All valid points. However, I think we are all aware that depression is an essentially selfish emotion. When I miscarried while I was married, I completely ignored my ex's grief while in the throws of severe postpartum depression. I was in the oubliette. I couldn't see past the overwhelming anguish I felt to realize how hurt he was himself. And ignoring the biochemical component is kind of obtuse....anyone who's done drugs that actively depletely their dopamine/serotonin (cocaine, ecstasy) can attest to the completely bizarre wave of reactive depression you feel because you screwed with your neurotransmitters. I mean, at a certain point in addiction, it's partially guilt - but that's not necessarily so in the beginning.

 

It's been proven, that suicide actually runs in families, although whether it's the familial structure and habitual methods of interacting and coping skills, or whether it's actually a genetic predisposition (aside from the whole genetic predisposition for depression in and of itself) - is still up in the air.

 

True clinical depression is not the dysthymia that we are familiar with. The blahs, as they say. True clinical depression is a deadly serious disease. I've had several family members committ suidice. Uncles, my grandfather on my dad's side, my dad's sister.....I used to say it was a selfish act. Depression is selfish, though. It's not a shiny happy commendable way to feel or interact.

 

People share their personal experiences because hey, suicide is an intimate thing. It hurts the loved ones. Grieving involves venting, and venting is OK.

 

At therapy yesterday I discussed suicide with my therapist. In some ways, I feel it may well serve an evolutionary purpose. "Culling the herd" - so to speak. I've often felt that I would rather delete myself from the system than be a severly mentally ill drain on society and my loved ones for the rest of my life. I can see the helpless rage my family feels at seeing my self-destructive behaviors. I often do think, what purpose would I serve, to humanity, and could I cause less pain in the long run, considering that if I, say, develop a severe and persistent mental illness (schizophrenia, or diagnosed with a personality disorder) - would it be harder to simply deal with my suicide, or deal with me for the rest of my mentally ill life?

 

I still debate it daily. I don't think I would ever do it, and if I did I would never tell anyone

 

But 1 800 SUICIDE has saved me from drastic actions on a few occassions.

[Lil Honey]

Originally posted by Moose

It seems to me that everyone is talking about themselves.....me, me, me......that's kinda selfish isn't it?

 

Interesting comment, but until you've "been there" . . .

[Moose]

Originally posted by Lil Honey

Interesting comment, but until you've "been there" . . .

 

Don't give me that! That is the lamest excuse! What makes you think I haven't? I don't need to go into my life and dig up all the emotions and BS I've been through to prove a point. I know it's selfish because, I HAVE BEEN THERE......and that's just what I gathered and learned from it after I made it through. I'm offering you a short cut.

 

Moi has a point about chemicals, and the affects it has on people when they aren't balanced. When they are in sync, you'll understand more where I'm coming from.......and you'll see how I can say taking your own life is a selfish act.

[Lil Honey]

Mr. Moose:

 

Pardon me!

 

You are right. You don't have to go into detail. I failed to know your circumstances because I didn't read that you had any and your tone led me to believe that you had none.

 

BTW, I used to feel it was a selfish act. Now I don't. I DO understand both viewpoints.

 

So I won't be "giving you any crap" from this point forward.

 

Have a lovely day.

[Moose]

Lil Honey,

 

I do apologize. I get defensive sometimes, with tones....just like anyone else.

 

No worries?

[guest]

i have been reading this post with interest. I am probably the last person in the world to contemplate suicide, but i have dealt with a personal who is clinically depressed, and who I believe has contemplated suicide at one time. The recurring theme with her is that depression is a selfish disease, and it is always about her. The people living around her are immensely hurt by periods of her non-caring and distancing, for no apparent reason and at arbitrary times. Perhaps this depression is the precursor to many suicides, and hence leads people who are the "victims", intended or not, to believe that suicide in itself is a selfish act. I think that a depressed person always feels that no one will ever know how they are feeling, unless you have been there yourself. I think the human mind has depths that many cannot fathom, but on the other hand, you don't have to be a bull to know a good piece of beef when you taste it. I think one can imagine going to such a place, and no doubt it may be different if you really experienced it, but how else can one form a starting point towards understanding??

 

It seems that a theme running through this thread is that one might not be able to form an opinion on why people commit suicide, unless the person forming the opinion has at one time been suicidal themselves. Some who have expressed the opinion of suicide being a selfish act have been chastised by others who say on one hand you cant know what the suicide is thinking, while they themselves may not know what these "victims " are thinking or experiencing after being put in such a position.

 

So how can anyone help these people, who feel that no one can ever understand their deep misery?? You can befriend them, empathize, sympathize, whatever---- drugs can help, but they are no panacea in themselves. Counseling is an aid, and if the counselors can understand these people, why cant anyone else who makes the effort to learn? Mental therapists do not have the market cornered on mental health education. Just my uninformed opinion.

[Chrono721]

^_^;; We are disscussing this in Health Class now. It's a rather confusing thing to understand. The reason why people commit suicide is because they think that it's an escape from the hard things they experience in life. Usually, they think that they are hopeless, not worthy to a point that they want to kill themselves. They believe that noting will get better, and that everything seems to fall downhill. It is very related to depression. I suggest watching Dead Poets Society. They have some stuff about it, plus, it's a good film. ^_^

-Chrono721