Hello

[SidLyon]

And to steer this back on topic to the OP...that's the question still posed to BHMM.

 

Is he truly working to rebuild his marriage...or is he placing his life on hold, passively seeing if the marriage will heal itself, and secretly yearning that it doesn't?

 

It all comes back to CHOICE, as I said earlier.

 

I see BHMM is still willing to answer questions and has not confined this to just questions from OW; so...

 

I echo Owl's questions asking BHMM what he is doing/planning, to heal his marriage and relationship with his wife?

 

As another who has managed this, I can say that merely spending more time with your wife and children is unlikely to suddenly recreate intimacy and affection with your wife.

 

You seem adamant BHMM that this (recover your marraige) is what you want to do, and that the affair is over, despite you still mourning its loss. It would be a pity to see you fail because you never quite understood how to go about healing your marriage.

[Ellin]

Agreed...which is why I also included:

 

"They hold out allowing others the chance to potentially fulfill a romantic relationship with them if they're the OW/OM. "

 

Even if there's no other relationship to repair...they still need to allow themselves to heal. They're still denying themselves the opportunity to someday begin a relationship with someone else...to find another "love of their life".

 

Not all marriages survive infidelity. This doesn't JUST apply to the OW/OM...it could well apply to the MM/MW as well.

 

I don't know Owl.. It all sounds so self-help handbook, so sorted out into rules and ordered. Emotional issues are not like mathematical formulas. Although I appreciate your intention of helping.

 

I lost my first great love when I was young and I had no hope of ever getting him back. I tried to get on with my life and eventually got married (to Mr Wrong by the way). I was so busy, firts being in love and shortly after dealing with serious problems in my M that the thought of my First Great Love never entered my mind.

 

But several years later, out of the, blue he started coming to me in my dreams (I know it sounds crazy but that's exactly how it felt). Two years of that and we bumped into each other in quite unusual circumstances. My feelings for him exploded just as if they had always been there.

 

Nearly 10 years have passed since then (in the meantime I got D for a different reason) and I met him a few more times and what I've experienced so far makes me think that my feelings for him will be there for as long as I live. Him and I cannot be together, so life goes on and I can still love others but my heart is broken in some part and always will be because of him.

[KarmasTestDummy]

Grieving is one thing...pining is another.

 

If you're grieving the end of the relationship...that's normal, natural, and even potentially productive. It creates the opportunity for you to heal and even eventually move on in your life.

 

If you're pining and placing your life on hold with the hope of the relationship continuing...that's a good bit less productive.

 

3 months of grief is reasonable for a 3 year long affair. I don't think he is pining, but you can't move forward until the grief is behind you. Not in a relationship at least.

[BHMM]

I am new here, but your post is one I followed intensely. I think we all want to know your perspective. Especially those of us who are in NC from our MM. I want to know that he loved me. That I wasn't just a whim or fancy of his for a fleeting moment. It helps that you can say it is just as hard for you, that you still think of OW and that you would support other women in her position is reassurance that my MM may have more integrity to him than currently meets the eye. I dint think we necessarily want to hear that you have no intent on going back to her, since so many of us hold on to that smidgen of hope, but it helps all the same. I know that if I never hear from mine again it will be for the very same reasons, his children. There is no way to compete for that piece of him, and I would never want to. His love for his children and his do anything to protect them was probably one of his most desirable traits to me. I'm scared, like many of the OW here that we will never find our true happiness, but I think in reading your post, I am more scared for you never finding your happiness than her...because you are the one who chose to settle for less than satisfied. She is single and still afforded that opportunity. It was a very selfless sacrifice and I wish you all the joy you can find in the lot you choose.

Hi KTD,

 

Thanks for your kind post. You really got what I wanted to come through from my initial post in the original thread. I'm sorry for what you're currently feeling and going through, so I'm glad my story was able to bring you some kind of comfort.

 

I hope I did end things with exOW in time to give her a chance to find true happiness with someone else. I hope the same for you.

 

Take care, and good luck in everything.

[dolphinscry]

Dolphin, you make a good point. I've been NC for 10 weeks and the last couple seem to be harder than at the beginning. BHMM mentioned this too. Why is this? I thought time was supposed to heal.

 

I think in my situation why it has gotten harder is because in the beginning I was sure I would hear from him again. Now that it has been 2 months I am starting to accept the fact that I won't hear from him again. And that is heart breaking to me.

[BHMM]

Initially I did. Then he seemed to be coming back with more of a future but he immediately realized he wasnt ready to commit to that and then a year later he came back again with nothing and I was extremely angry. Then another year later after much figthing (at work which is never good he used work as a way to do I dont know what and when I would say this is personal whats on your mind he would say why do you still bring up the past this is business) then a few months he said he needed to speak to me, met him and he rambled on about his assets (something we had never discussed as it wasnt why I was with him) and said we wanted to continue talking about (was really odd) it and a month later when I asked him what that was all about he said it was nothing just a business lunch. Then the other behavior.

 

My sense is he was thinking again about leaving, I didnt fawn all over him and tell him how much I missed him (but really after being told that I should stop bringing up the past why would I) he thought better of it.

 

Its all just a shame. We managed to carry on a cordial business relatonship for a year or two after the A and then suddenly he became aggressive for no apparent reason. I say aggressive but when I have asked him about it he always said its my imagination and he was just conducting business like he would with anyone else. I dont even ask anymore. I just avoid him as much as I can which is a real shame. We were great allies even after the A ended.

 

I had lunch today with a friend of his Ws. Ugghhh. Shes really lovely and doesnt know but of course they came up in conversation. Felt so silly.

 

BH I feel for you but at the same time your thread really made me ashamed that I ever got involved in the whole thing. As wonderful as it was at the time, its been h*llish for the past year or so. On balance definitely not worth it. And it didnt have to be this way. It could have continued to be smooth sailing and then I wouldnt regret it.

jj33, that is quite a story. I can't imagine going through all that, and then having to continue to work with the person after it all. Do you think seeing him through work has held you back from moving on? Seems like it would be really hard.

 

I hope you're doing ok, and continue posting.

[BHMM]

I have some questions, if you could answer, please...

 

How do you cope with still having feelings for OW? Somedays I feel sick missing him.

 

I don't know, I guess I just try to get through each day and hope the next one is easier. Trying to focus on my family, and keeping busy with work, hobbies, etc. All the standard post-breakup advice.

I get that sick feeling missing her too. I guess I just tell myself it's over but this getting over her is going to be a process.

 

Is it easy to walk away and give up on the love?

 

No! Ending the A with her was probably the hardest thing I've ever done.

 

If your xOW, really struggled getting over you and kept telling you how much she loves and missed you, would you see that as desperate?

 

No, because I'd be feeling all the same things toward her. She and I were never afraid to bare our feelings to each other, so there wouldn't be any of that feeling, but that might not hold true for everyone.

 

What triggers your memories of your relationship with her?

 

All the normal stuff -- songs, food, movies, etc. And a lot of times my mind will mess with me and random memories of her will just pop into my head, pieces of conversation or something, things I didn't even realize I remembered. And there there are the dreams.

 

Do you feel guilty for ending it with her?

No, I just feel sad. If I feel guilty about anything, it's for not ending it sooner, since it ended up not resulting in a real R for us. But I honestly didn't know was going to end like this.

[BHMM]

I feel soooooooooooooo sorry for your OW. If you think you are feeling bad she is feeling 10x worse than you are. You have absolutely devastated her. You mentioned that maybe she has moved on - she has not moved on in only 3 months!! - you have your W to move on with but she has no one. It is a very lonely, cold world where she is right now.

 

I find it very strange that you seem so sure that you are doing the right thing? Honestly, why is that?

I think I made the right decision relative to my kids. And now that I've made my choice, I'm doing my best to move forward with it. What is strange about that?

 

You have already destroyed the R with your W by having the A whether you want to come clean about it or not - it is done - you cannot erase the past. It is difficult to face the end of a M (especially for men) but I think you are just prolonging the inevitable.

 

I know from experience that staying for the kids does not work - I mean your intentions are good - it's a noble idea - but if that primary R is not working (you are in love with someone else!) - you will not be able to sustain things long term - no matter how many roses you buy or vacations you take.

 

The most important thing is to be true to yourself (you are not) everything else will fall in to place eventually (of course there will be hardship along the way). I too have struggled with this for a long time. There are lessons I know I need to teach my children (that can be taught to children by parents whether they are together OR separated) lessons like to be true to yourself and that it is okay to make mistakes etc. etc.

 

I am not trying to change your mind - you seem so resolute about what you are doing (which I find strange)

 

Again, why is this strange? It's over. I made up my mind and I'm trying to move on. I know I'm not close to there yet, but I'm not going to break NC, and I'm 99% sure she won't either. It's just the way we are.

 

I don't think anybody would be able to. I'm just writing from my own experience and my A, which I'm embarrassed to admit, lasted quite a lot longer than yours (and we were both M). I just fear for the regrets you may have later on when it is too late to change things.

 

Some other food for thought:

My own parents divorced several years ago after 35 years of M. I always knew growing up that it was never a great M.

My mother has told me that she wishes she had left a lot earlier when she was younger and it would have been easier to meet someone else and move on (she hasn't). I said "so why didn't you?" She said "Because I had four kids".

Noble what she did but she now has regrets. And do you know how that makes me feel as 1 of those 4 kids? She is now spending her retirement years alone. Anyway, this is just a thought on the topic but it just makes me think about the choices people make in life - after all, we only get one shot at it.

Thanks for sharing your story and perspective, it definitely helps to read things like this.

[BHMM]

I hope BHMM moves over to the infidelity thread too, but only when he's ready to. He is far from ready, seems he nees input from OW here to help him get over his own exOW before he can focus and reconnect with his wife.

 

I think you're right on with this.

 

Though I DO believe if he created a thread asking how to reconnect with his wife, what he truly can do to get over his exOW and put that love and energy into the mother of his children, it would be a good thing and maybe give him the push he needs to just focus on his wife and not worry so much about the exOW. But again, he isn't ready to commit to just talking and focussing on his wife right now, and even more so when many OW are asking him questions and thoughts about their own affair, and comparing it to their own situation.

 

I will come give you a (nice) swift kick in the butt if you are still just posting about your exOW come October and no mention of how you're doing inside and what changes you're working on yourself so you'll be open to your wife and recommitting to the marriage.

Sounds great.

[BHMM]

has your wife noticed your change in acting interested in/connect to the family?

Not as far as I know. If anything she's happier that I'm around and more attentive. I don't think it's raised her suspicions at all.

[BHMM]

And I'm going to say SO WHAT? That may be the reason why he's here, on this forum, instead of the Infidelity/Marriage one.

 

Everyone has a different threshold, level and ability to deal with things. Some people fall in and out of love quickly. Others don't - but when they do fall in love, they fall hard. My point is, everyone is different.

 

BHMM is hurting and telling his story here.

 

He's here on the OM/OW board answering questions that other OW might have, perhaps (most likely) as a way to get over his OW. And because he's here (and not on the Infidelity/Marriage board) I don't think he has to justify his actions (in terms of tell/don't tell).

 

He said in his very first post he was having a hard time dealing with NC. So it's taking him some time to get over SOMEONE HE TRULY LOVED. Is that so horrible?

Thanks for posting TOWinNYC. I really appreciate that you actually read my posts and really understand where I'm coming from.

[BHMM]

I'm not understanding what the issue was with BHMM being absent...if he lives in the States, Labor Day is the last summer holiday, and most throw in vacation days with the long weekend...people do have lives outside of LS, or they should anyway.

 

Glad your back BHMM:), and just want to add that I think you are in the right forum...

Thanks pureinheart, I really appreciate it!

[BHMM]

Very true TOW (bold), and he spent a lot of the last thread doing just that...trying politely to give answers from A to Z...and some ventured into major imaginations. It would have been better for him to work out his sitch and talk about that in a more constuctive atmosphere.

 

Hi BHMM,

 

I'd like to share a bit of my story, possibly it will help you. Since you've been reading a bit, you mostlikely know some of our stories...in the event that you didn't read mine, here goes:

 

I met MM (now exDM) at work..long story short, we ended up in an EA. He never could walk away from me, although he felt the guilt all of the time I imagine. His kids were grown, and his M was over the day it started.

 

He and his exW D'ed...the D was VERY hard on him for many reasons...the dynamic they all operated in was unhealthy, so that is the reason I was glad he got out, or they split...I hear stories here and there and I'm priddy sure it was better for her also.

 

We did not survive his D, it took it's toll on both of us, and there are many gory details, but that is the jist.

 

Every sitch is different, as one post stated that there is much loneliness for the OW...this was not the case for me, I never sat and waited and was very independant. My life was full then and it is now and getting better everyday.

 

I think there is a major stereotype concerning OM/OW as there is with MM...not many on these boards fit that IMO...I really hope you and your family had a good weekend...now the winter holidays...man how time flies!

Thanks for sharing your story pureinheart. It was interesting (and sad) to hear that your R did not survive the D. That was definitely one of the several concerns I had about moving forward with exOW, if our R would be able to survive that stress.

 

You sound really resilient to be able to endure so much upheaval and continue to live your life with such a great attitude.

 

Thanks again for posting.

[KarmasTestDummy]

Hi KTD,

 

Thanks for your kind post. You really got what I wanted to come through from my initial post in the original thread. I'm sorry for what you're currently feeling and going through, so I'm glad my story was able to bring you some kind of comfort.

 

I hope I did end things with exOW in time to give her a chance to find true happiness with someone else. I hope the same for you.

 

Take care, and good luck in everything.

 

There's always time. That is not my fear. I'm only 29, with a good head on my shoulders. I know I can find love again. The sadness only comes from knowing I wanted it to be him. That can resolve itself easily just by being given unconditional love by someone who has no prior commitments.

[BHMM]

My day stunk so I had carb overload. I ate some Moose Tracks for you too.

Wow, thanks! I've lost like 12 pounds in the last 3 weeks so I deserved a treat...

[terrific]

Wow, thanks! I've lost like 12 pounds in the last 3 weeks so I deserved a treat...

Down 11 as of this morning. Could almost feel guilty about the "diet" food....but I don't, nothing like "Stress Watchers" to drop a few It was a better day today, you?

[BHMM]

Down 11 as of this morning. Could almost feel guilty about the "diet" food....but I don't, nothing like "Stress Watchers" to drop a few It was a better day today, you?

That's great! Glad you had a good day, mine was okay too.

[BHMM]

Thanks!! I haven't read through all the posts, so I hope I'm not repeating anything.

The A I had with my xmm sounds like your's. The connection,all those things. He said he felt like we were destined to be together, I was the woman of his dreams, he couldn't imagine his life without me. He was married with a daughter and baby on the way. His wife had cheated on him several times and he said he was living with so much heartbreak. He pushed to take the A from physical to emotional. He is the one who first brought up leaving our marriages. I never once pressured him to leave and told him even if he didn't I wanted to continue to be in his life.

June 23 he sent me a text saying he was ready to leave his wife and asked if I was willing, I told him I was. We saw each other later that night, everything was great. He sent me a text that night telling me how much he loved me. And that was it. He has ignored all my attempts to get in touch with him. I saw him a couple of weeks ago at the store with his daughter and he just waved and smiled. Like I was a casual acquaintance.

 

Wow, that is an incredible and sad story, I've never heard anything like it. I don't know what to say; I'm really sorry you're going through this.

 

So my questions are:

 

1. Feeling the way you say you do about the OW could you have just cut off contact with no explanation?

Absolutely not, no way.

 

2. If you live in the same area and happened to see your OW how would you act?

Now, after we've started NC? I'm not sure. I'd probably just avoid her if I could. I don't think I'd smile and wave.

 

3. If you saw her would it make you want to get in touch with her?

Probably, but it's over so I wouldn't.

 

4. How can you be okay with not knowing if she is alright?

I don't have any idea how she's doing, and I hate that. I'm not okay with it, but I know I can't contact her, so I'm not.

 

5. How do you stay strong enough to maintain NC?

Like I told someone earlier, sheer force of will. I don't know how else to explain it. I'm pretty stubborn (so is exOW) so that is probably helping NC work for us, in a weird way.

 

6. During the A he said his days and nights were consumed by thoughts of me. Now that your A is over how often do you think of her?

A lot, but not as much as a month or two ago, and definitely not as much as when we were in the middle of the A. But that's conscious thought; memories still pop into my head randomly throughout the day, and I dream about her a lot.

 

I hope I haven't asked too many questions.

Also, if you want to know how your OW feels. If she is anything like me, she if feeling shattered, in shock, wonders if she ever meant anything to you. Probably spending many nights crying. Also like you I am having a harder time now than I did in the beginning. I wonder why that is.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Again, I'm really sorry you're going through this. I don't have any explanation for why your MM would cut you off and end things like this (not that you asked me to explain). In my A, we had so many talks about what if things ended, and we tried ending it several times, so I think when the time came and I ended the A in June, we both somehow knew it was for real this time. The part about it being harder now than a month or two ago is spot on; I think like someone said it's just sinking in, after the first month or two being in shock and maybe subconciously holding out hope that they'll break NC.

 

Hang in there, it will get better.

[BHMM]

I believe it got shut down because we weren't even close to being on topic. People were more or less telling him what he should do. This isn't what the initial topic was about. At the beginning, he said he'd be available to answer any questions OW may have. It completely spiraled out of control and the topic of the thread turned into people being pissed off that he wouldn't tell his wife about the A. It got to be too much for me, I can't imagine how BHMM stuck around so long. Hopefully we can keep this to a more or less Q & A session with comments here and there. I believe his mind is made up. He's not going back to the xOW and he's decided to make his M work. How can people question this or try to change his mind?

Thanks Thunderbolt. And you're right, my mind is made up.

 

Ok...sorry about the rant.

 

BHMM, I have a couple more questions.

 

Two breaks up ago from xMM, I got so sick and tired of the indecisiveness. I told him that it was best for us to be apart while he worked on his marriage. I truly encouraged it because I knew this was the only way he'd ever have a clear conscience. He didn't want to but understood my point. 7 weeks had gone by and he started contacting me again. I stupidly thought this meant he had come to some conclusion. We met and had small talk until I finally asked how things were with him and his W (his W knew about the A). He said that they hadn't had time to address it yet. He moved back home at the beginning of the year after being separated for 3 months. How can 5 months go by without them addressing such a life changing issue? Neither of them attended IC and there was no mention of MC. Why didn't he take our time apart to work on the M? How can she just sweep the whole matter under the rug?

IMO, he's on the fence and probably in denial about the whole situation. I know I was for a long time too. It was so gut wrenching to try to make that decision, and probably is for him as well. For your sake though, I would end it or walk away/start NC, which will either force him to take action to be with you, or let you move on with your life. (Feel free to disregard if you weren't looking for advice...)

[BHMM]

Dolphin, you make a good point. I've been NC for 10 weeks and the last couple seem to be harder than at the beginning. BHMM mentioned this too. Why is this? I thought time was supposed to heal.

I've been wondering about this too. I think for me, reality is setting in. Earlier it didn't seem like that much time had passed; now it's feeling like it's really over.

[BHMM]

BHMM-

 

I'd posted a list of specific actions that you could/should be taking to rebuild your marriage.

 

You seemed to appreciate them.

 

I'd like to follow up and ask if you've implemented any of that advice?

 

Have you started any ACTIVE effort to recover/rebuild your marriage?

 

If so...what?

 

If not...why not?

 

I think it's time to change your focus, my friend. Rather than focus on the "what might have beens"...time to focus on your goals, and how to actively reach them.

I did appreciate the tips. I haven't really implemented anything yet. I'm just doing what I can each day to make the M better. Again, I don't have an itemized list of actions I've taken. I just know things are improving and I'm moving in the right direction. I think I'm making progress, and I'm fine with that for now. When the day comes that I think discussing the exOW and my situation is hindering my progress, I'll stop. Right now it's cathartic and seems to be improving my state of mind.

 

Thanks for following up.

[BHMM]

BHMM,

 

Welcome back, I was hoping you'd come back, it has been interesting watching from the sidelines and I am glad you had a great holiday... without the computer.

I too am a MM who had a short but intense EA with an incredible single OW over 3 years ago. I too am working on a tough marriage that just went thru its 22nd year. I too am "staying for the kids" and can see the results of my being deeply involved in their daily life. And I too struggle daily with the thoughts of OW.

 

I guess I am chiming in on this forum and thread to answer to the OW's out there concerning their MM. Do I think of her? Yes, I do still think of her often. I still love her deeply. More deeply than I have ever loved. The intense EA ended just short of becoming a full blown PA over 3 years ago. I respect her privacy and she mine. Although we are not total NC, contact is rare and when it does occur it is always the basics. We live in a small big town, so crossing paths happens from time to time. There are no promises, no fishing on either side, no talk of the future. How do I cope? I keep busy, I am self employed, run kids everywhere, work on "fixing the M", work on "fixing me", walk, bike, etc. And like I try to explain to my kid when he asks if I prefer a Lamborgini or a Ferrari, I say I don't kill myself worrying about things I know I can't have. But that doesn' stop the thoughts of what if.

 

So I continue to work on what I do have, a marriage that struggles at best primarily because we are not the same people we were when we promised til death do us part. The blame for that is mainly due to OW who showed me that there was a life to live out there. I know, I know, pie in the sky fog. BS! Do yourself a favor and BW a favor and leave the M. The kids will be fine in the longhaul. Easier said than done. Kinda like those thoughts and triggers of OW,

 

Hang in BHMM and thanks for the thread.

Thanks for sharing your story mtndew. I know exactly what you mean about the A showing you another side to life. That must be tough living so close to her. "Respecting her privacy" is a good answer to anyone who asks how we're able to maintain NC.

 

The kids may or may not be fine in the longhaul, but I've made my decision to end the A and rebuild the M, and that's what I'm doing.

 

Thanks again for posting.

[BHMM]

I think that NC is harder for some people simply because they don't truly grieve the end of the affair. I don't think that they truly accept that the affair, the relationship with the other person...is over for life.

 

They still hold out the hope deep down that someday they can still be together.

 

And that hope is what prevents them from "moving on". Prevents them from taking the actions needed to heal. To reconcile and repair the relationship they're already in.

 

That's why NC has to be a complete, permanent thing. It can't be done by halvsies. It can't be LC...you can't maintain that friendship.

 

I suspect that BHMM (and others) hasn't accepted the fact (deep down) that there is no going back, and no going forward with this other person at some point in the future. I think that they still hold the glimmer of hope that somehow they'll still be together.

That all may be true for some, but it just is not the case with me. I'm not holding out an ounce of hope of rekindling the A. It is NC, not LC. And I've completely accepted that there's no going back. I'm just sad and I miss her. It was 3+ years of my life, and it's going to take a little time to get over her.

 

And it could come true. As long as they hold out that hope...they hold out fully re-investing themselves in the marriage. They hold out allowing others the chance to potentially fulfill a romantic relationship with them if they're the OW/OM. And I think that there's a belief (again, deel down) that if they just keep themselves "available" long enough...it'll happen.

 

It might happen in BHMM's case. If he never reinvests in his marriage...he stands a decent chance of the marriage ending, freeing him to be with OW.

No, it won't. The A is over and exOW is out of the picture.

 

That's why CHOICE is the key factor here.

 

You have to CHOOSE to do what you do.

I have made my choice.

 

My wife, shortly after our d-day, while she was still coping with the loss of her OM, went shopping one day while I was at work. I walked over to the shopping center she was in when I got off work, and she rushed to show me a plaque that she found with a saying (supposedly from Confuscious) on it.

 

She said that it explained why she couldn't go to live with OM. It explained why she had to give our marriage a chance.

 

It read:

 

"Wherever you go, go there with all of your heart".

 

She couldn't leave to go be with OM...because she couldn't go there with all of her heart.

 

BHMM (and others) should consider this. I'm not telling them "where their heart is". But I AM saying that they need to "go there with all of their heart". They need to pick a direction...and commit fully and completely to that direction. If it's NC and working on the marriage...then go there with all of your heart. If it's divorce and living with the OW...go there with all of your heart. If it's living your life to the fullest, and you know that MM can't/won't be there....then go there with all of your heart.

 

But don't do any less than that.

I hear you on that, good advice. Thanks Owl.

[BHMM]

BHMM,

 

I’m a fairly simple person who wishes to live a simple life. I believe with all my heart that I make my life what I want it to be by my actions. I fully understand that not everything in life will go my way and that much in life is not exactly what I want or how I planned it to be. However, I also know that I have the power within myself to decide if my current situation is worth my continued time and effort.

 

Having said all that I’ll tell you that you can make your life anything that you want it to be; you want to love your W, to make the M work (for whatever your reasons) then do it. Put your all into it. If, after a sufficient amount of time/effort, you’re still not feeling it then move on with a clear conscious knowing that you *really* gave it your very best….but you have to truly give the effort your all, no half assing allowed. No wistfully thinking back on time shared with OW, no romanizing the memory of her and no internal completion between OW and your W.

 

Understand that you lead yourself to this place and you must find your way thru it. Don’t sugar coat it for yourself. It will take time to come to terms with the outcomes of your actions.

 

Find the silver lining.

Thanks for the post, omeday. Nice words and I appreciate them.

[BHMM]

Has she tried to contact you?

No she has not.