waffles Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 I'm a 18 year old college freshman who's having trouble finding a girl; most of my friends are not single, and i haven't had any luck meeting girls in classes, so it seems like to find single girls anywhere I have to go to the numerous clubs and parties on campus. Problem is, I don't drink. So I feel really uncomfortable being practically the only sober person at these parties. Friends often ask me to go drinking with them, and I feel tempted, if only to find a cool single girl. Yes, it's peer pressure. It's a total cliche. And drinking is generally against my life philosophy (I feel like you should always be fully conscious, in order to fully experince life). But I'm also lonely, and horny, and I'd really like to find a girlfriend, and I feel like the only way to do that is to get over myself and just go partying. Do you have any better suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
luvcrazy02 Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 Originally posted by waffles Yes, it's peer pressure. It's a total cliche. And drinking is generally against my life philosophy (I feel like you should always be fully conscious, in order to fully experince life). Okay...just hearing that...I would tell you NO. If you go out drinking purely just to find a girl...that's not who you are. So the girl you meet won't know the real you, she'll know the fake you. That's not how you want people to meet you. There's nothing wrong with going to a party and NOT drinking. You can still laugh and have a good time and talk to people without having to drink. If this is something that you're against...don't do it. You'll end up being miserable and it'll be worse than being lonely...you'll feel guilty and loose sight of what's really important. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 Best case scenario you find a cool chick who's really into the drunk you. Think about that. If you're not a drinker, don't try to meet girls at the club. Yeah, there's peer pressure, but you choose the peers whom you associate with. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 People congregate in plenty of places which don't involve alcohol. Join some of the school societies or clubs and then ask a girl of your choice to go out for a non-drinking evening. Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 You shouldnt drink to meet girls. If you meet girls drunk and you boink them it isnt the same as if you are in a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Marty_McFly Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 You don't have to drink to go out with friends that do. I didn't drink in college (except on very rare occasions) and I still don't. However, ALL of my friends did, and I still went out with them, met all the girls, and did basically everything everyone else was doing except the drinking part. It also helps to have a glass of soda or something in your hand. Just hang out with everyone, still participating in the conversations, mingling, dancing, etc., not making a big deal of the fact that you're not drinking, and probably no one will even notice either way. In fact, I found it's typically easier to meet girls while sober at those parties because you're not acting like a complete idiot. The only thing the alcohol does is help with the "liquid courage" which isn't always a good thing. Link to post Share on other sites
zipperhead Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 I never drank until I was 24. All of my family members were alcoholics so I never drank. I was also a lonely, isolated freak. I have been drinking basically everyday since May 1989 and I have had a great life. Until I started drinking I felt as if a piece of my life was missing...booze was the last piece of the puzzle. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 Until I started drinking I felt as if a piece of my life was missing...booze was the last piece of the puzzle. This is a pretty sad case. Thre is no way that booze can fill in what's missing in life. What it does is befuddle your brain so you don't realize what is missing and how you might get it. I was also a lonely, isolated freak. And you're not isolated now? I'm guessing all your friends are drinking buddies. Link to post Share on other sites
reasontosigh Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 Originally posted by Marty_McFly You don't have to drink to go out with friends that do. I didn't drink in college (except on very rare occasions) and I still don't. However, ALL of my friends did, and I still went out with them, met all the girls, and did basically everything everyone else was doing except the drinking part. It also helps to have a glass of soda or something in your hand. Just hang out with everyone, still participating in the conversations, mingling, dancing, etc., not making a big deal of the fact that you're not drinking, and probably no one will even notice either way. In fact, I found it's typically easier to meet girls while sober at those parties because you're not acting like a complete idiot. The only thing the alcohol does is help with the "liquid courage" which isn't always a good thing. Good ideas from Marty here. Another thing to keep in mind: if you volunteer as the designated driver for your drinking friends, some establishments (usually the bigger ones like TGI Fridays and those types of places) will serve non-alcoholic beverages (coffee, soda, juice) for free to the designated driver in the group. Link to post Share on other sites
zipperhead Posted February 22, 2004 Share Posted February 22, 2004 "This is a pretty sad case. Thre is no way that booze can fill in what's missing in life. What it does is befuddle your brain so you don't realize what is missing and how you might get it." HOW DO YOU KNOW....YOU A DRINKER TOO? "And you're not isolated now? I'm guessing all your friends are drinking buddies" YES, BASICALLY, EXCEPT MY CHILD. Link to post Share on other sites
ILoveToToot Posted February 22, 2004 Share Posted February 22, 2004 what the ???????? wow, should you start drinking cause your life sucks to an extent? umm no, please dont! find hobbies, new friends, a new job, a new pet, hang out with loved ones, masterbate, draw, exercise, cook, etc etc etc..... alcohol with control is a good thing, as long as its with control. if you can do that, then yes. otherwise, no. Link to post Share on other sites
mintjulep Posted February 22, 2004 Share Posted February 22, 2004 "And you're not isolated now? I'm guessing all your friends are drinking buddies" YES, BASICALLY, EXCEPT MY CHILD. Awww...how sweet. I wonder, why wasn't that child the missing piece in your life? Who takes care of the child when you're boozing with your drinking buddies? I feel so sorry for that child. I didn't grow up with an alcoholic father because my mother knew when to step in and make him get help - before she would have children with him. My cousins were not so lucky. My uncle never laid a hand on them or their mother, but the emotional and mental abuse they suffered from his constant drinking was pretty terrible. I've also seen it ruin my best friend's parent's marriage. They're still together, but not happy. He drinks to forget, and she cries - a lot. Drinking is never the answer to anything, unless you are in control of the situation, and you only do it socially - because you want to, and especially if you want to do it to meet women. I'd never date someone I met drunkenly at a bar. The only people I feel comfortable drinking with are my close girl friends and my boyfriend. That said, drunken flings rarely, if ever, lead to lasting relationships (the only existing one I'm aware of is still going on after a year, but its end is still up in the air as far as we are all concerned). If you want to meet girls, join a club, start going to church - if that's your thing, take a class outside of school, and just talk to people. You're more likely to be happy with someone if you meet them at a place where you both have something in common, even if it's just a professor you both liked (or didn't like). Link to post Share on other sites
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