Don Ho Posted September 7, 2010 Share Posted September 7, 2010 My Ex dumped me a few months ago. She claimed she didnt' "feel the same" and didn't "want a relationship". We have text back and forth about meaningless stuff a few times in the past few weeks. We were suppose to go to dinner a few weeks ago (because I owed her) and when I text her on Monday about what night that week, she came back with "busy". Later she saw me with another woman at the local hangout. She didn't seem too happy about that. Anyway, on to my question. We had great chemistry and sex. I know that before we dated she told me she had a guy that was just once a week FWB but he got attached (or she got tired of him). I don't know how to approach her about the subject. I was thinking about sending her one of the following texts or a private message on FB: 1. What do you think about us being FWB? 2. What do you think about us having NSAS? (no strings attached sex). 3. When are you going to come over and check out my new house? Thoughts? Advice? How did you approach an Ex with this? Link to post Share on other sites
kimba Posted September 7, 2010 Share Posted September 7, 2010 Don't. Save her the misery that is FWB (for a woman) Its different for women I have been in one for 3 years, and if you want to see what its like just look at my threads Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 7, 2010 Share Posted September 7, 2010 I don't think you can handle a FWB relationship with your Ex without getting serious about her again. You should move on and find someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Don Ho Posted September 7, 2010 Author Share Posted September 7, 2010 Ok, well that's your take on it from your personal experience. BTW, she dumped me so I doubt she's too concerned about getting emotionally involved. I'm a big boy ... if she goes ahead with it that's my fault and my problem. Ok, anyone have any suggestions on how to ask and not if I should or shouldnt? Link to post Share on other sites
Rashad Posted September 7, 2010 Share Posted September 7, 2010 its not a thing that I'd advise you to do, but if you think you can remain rational enough throughout here is my 2 cents. Before even hinting on anything like that, you have to make sure that she knows that you are over her, or else she'll just think that you are trying to get her back by the fwb proposal. Once that is established, appeal to her to her self interest, you don't wanna come off as selfish and inconsiderate but don't involved emotions in it. Last, I don't think you should resort to texting or even calling her, do it in person, as to what to say to her... I really don't know her so I wouldn't know how she'd react to the way you approach her. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 7, 2010 Share Posted September 7, 2010 Ok, well that's your take on it from your personal experience. BTW, she dumped me so I doubt she's too concerned about getting emotionally involved. I'm a big boy ... if she goes ahead with it that's my fault and my problem. Ok, anyone have any suggestions on how to ask and not if I should or shouldnt? Just say "I know we have broken up but I really enjoyed the sex. Can we be FWBs? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Don Ho Posted September 7, 2010 Author Share Posted September 7, 2010 Just say "I know we have broken up but I really enjoyed the sex. Can we be FWBs? Now we're getting somewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
RockinZ28 Posted September 8, 2010 Share Posted September 8, 2010 you might as well go for broke on this one since you have nothing to lose, she is not interested in pursuing a relationship or really spending time with you. i would tend to advise you not to beat around the bush asking what shes up to tonight or how shes been (she will think its a lame attempt to hang out with her or something) just text her "im horny" or something along those lines, direct and to the point..if she says no the worst thing that could happen is you're right where you're at now Link to post Share on other sites
Cee Posted September 8, 2010 Share Posted September 8, 2010 That happened to me once. I broke up with a guy for getting too serious too fast. He said ok and asked for a FWB. I said no because I thought it was a creepy request. But that's just me. Link to post Share on other sites
RockinZ28 Posted September 8, 2010 Share Posted September 8, 2010 That happened to me once. I broke up with a guy for getting too serious too fast. He said ok and asked for a FWB. I said no because I thought it was a creepy request. But that's just me. exactly..you broke up with him anyways and had no intention of a future whether you found his request creepy or not..so it definately doesn't hurt to ask Link to post Share on other sites
Author Don Ho Posted September 8, 2010 Author Share Posted September 8, 2010 LOL. You guys are killin me! I think there has to be a little more rapport between us before I "suggest" it. Maybe it's a bad idea to ask directly. You know, if you have to ask, you already know their answer. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted September 8, 2010 Share Posted September 8, 2010 Well, let's pretend I'm your GF, and you ask me the question: (BTW, I am completely serious, I'm not trying to yank your chain here, but think about this and really honestly focus on how you'd feel....even if you don't believe it's something she would say.... remember, you didn't think she'd break up with you, either....) "Well, that would be good, I guess.... but look, you know I'm not into you as far as a relationship is concerned, right? I mean, you can come round tonight, and we'll have sex, but you have to leave by nine, because I have a hot date, and he's coming to pick me up at 9.30. I'll probably have sex with him too, because he's another FWB.... I am so into just casual dating, you're never going to be 'the one', again...." Link to post Share on other sites
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