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How someone is so cruel, i hurting.


monkey

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I dated a Romanian girl once. She was 29.

Let me tell you about it.

They are like suicide bombers. Nobody can understand them.

Everything they do has another reason. They are willing to sacrifice their body (sex) and their heart in order to get their family to North America. Period.

This girl asked me to marry her cousin and would pay me. All of this after us having sex and starting a relationship. Do we over here understand this? Of course not.

Fact is, I believe she was already married to someone else to get in this country. Probably the same way as if I would have married her cousin. Means nothing.

But in Canada there is this thing going on over here that one comes over marries then does another guy to get him to marry someone else and then she continues the trend. Sacrificing herself for her family.

In fact all these girls phone numbers are under the same name, and their Social Insurance (Security) Numbers are probably faked as well.

When she speaks of other men it is not for love, but for family. Their only true love.

Like gypsies they sacrifice all for their way of life.

And dude, Hungary is the land of gypsies.

All the things she said were for different reasons.

Get over her, gypsies are losers.

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"To me it sounded like she's trying to make me hurt & forget her, it didn't sound true, just to put me off her scent, so to speak, but she after constantly told me she wanted to be alone."

 

You don't know her intentions, but you do know what she wants. Monkey, people will come in and out of your life without you ever knowing why. You just get used to it, like I have, just laugh it off. Everyday you choose how you feel about things, and you also choose what to focus on. Promise yourself that for today only you will NOT think of her, it, the past and the whats...whys...how can she etc....it will make you deranged, I promise you that. love yourself and respect yourself by choosing not to suffer over this mindless worthless human being, you will eventually learn in life that there are many, many girls out there that operate this way, like matrixgenious noted in his experience in the previous post.

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Hey Matrix, your right about gypsies, however, she's no gypsie, there are them living nearbye to her family house, it's how it is on the outskirts of Budapest, a nice house with a BMW, then a slum with dogs barking & a caravan, they are detested there.

Moimeme, why so pessemistic in everything you say, my friends tell me that she will see the good in me after she's had time to be at home & relax.

If every relationship fell apart through illness.

She did slam the door in my face & said it was over, finished, never again, but that was in her current frame of mind when i was ill & life was difficult for us both.

 

If someone lies, this seems ok to you, but to me it doesn't, especially when the well being of someone is at stake. I have looked at her letters in times of desperation & these have got me through bad times, her encouraging words of the future & these i hold onto. If lying is good to you, then mabe you should look in the mirror at your own situation & morals. Yes, 'never say never' & think positive about the future are things she always said to me & this saying is positive & things that seem lost, can work out..

Lying is one thing, but playing with peoples lives & emotions, wether fragile or not, is bad & if you think this is good, i feel sorry for you having been brought up that way.

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Moimeme, why so pessemistic in everything you say

 

Realistic, not pessimistic.

 

Lying is one thing, but playing with peoples lives & emotions, wether fragile or not, is bad & if you think this is good, i feel sorry for you having been brought up that way.

 

You're going a tad too far, there, Monkey. The fact remains that some people in fragile states of mind are unable to handle the truth (or at least it appears that way). So, to save those people from complete collapse, people sugar-coat the truth or flat out tell white 'lies' in order to not wreak havoc. That is not the same sort of deceit as, say, lying to one's wife when having an affair. It is kindly meant and intended to save someone from further damage when they're already down.

 

If you've been in a serious car crash and are near death, often the physicians won't tell you your family was killed in the crash until you're stronger. That's not a lie, either; it's meant to help, not harm.

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Right, it's just lying to someone because they haven't the balls to tell you in front of your face, pretty selfish, sounds like she did it for herself than me, wherever she told me it would hurt, even more so, the further away. They wait until your 6000 miles away first, thats the thanks i get for 15 nice months.

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But i know that when were together & it's going ok, as it was 95% of the time, we are great, we are both opinionated & passionate in our views & conversation & this leads to constant excitement & conflict in views, this is good in a relationship, better than constant agreement & "yes zsuzsanna, no zsuzsanna" that some relationships are.

One example was at San Antonio, Texas, bus station,i ordered some food & the woman said i could pay with my travellers cheque, ok, food arrived & she wanted a Texas drivers licence or Texas id card, this i didn't have, because i'm a tourist & i'd signed the cheque so it couldn't be used again & it was $100 cheque, i made a real scene & told everyone that the food was bad & eventually the cops came, i was justified right & the cop gave the owner a roasting that i had what i needed, & in the end i got a free meal, this is how i am within the relationship, as she is to me.

This keeps our relationship alive, it's just i wasn't this & i showed her a side of me, due to illness i'm embarrased about, but couldn't help, i just want time to resurface our oldselves.

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Would you rather have not experienced this, these "nice 15 months"? or would you rather not meet her at all and gain this experience?

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I can't tell you to let go Monkey...for I would be an incredible hypocrite. I only know that if I could let go and live on with memories (wonderful memories) I would feel alot better. And so, yes, I would in an instant do anything to be back with my ex...but this suffering can stop me/you from doing what we need to do in this world. She has moved on....she has moved on...she's had her time with you and now she's going elsewhere and trying to see new things in the world. That's what we all have to do...how hypocritical of me to say so? Yes, I miss my ex terribly...it drives me nuts...I find sleep hard...there is alot I want to say to her. But I know, no matter how valid my explantion she probably will just see it as that - an explanation & not the key to reconcille. Hell, you mentioned in an earlier post that you might do some meditation. If you have the ability to do so - do it. If you can - do it. I have come to the conclusion that my ex will not call me/email me/want to see me in the near future...there were too many signs that I just ignored. I'm living with that and it hurts like hell...it has the ability to conquer my thoughts and damnit, my creativity. It scares the hell out of me. How can this be? That's just the way it is. This is the worst it's been relationship wise - but it's over, I guess. I dream of reconcilliation...but it's a small chance.

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  • 3 months later...
princess rose

Hi, Monkey:

 

You've gotten a lot of good advice here. You sound a lot like my most recent ex, who is pining for a girl he dated when he was in his early teens (He's now 23). He, like yourself, is having serious difficulty accepting the fact that she's not coming back, and holds on to past words and glimmers of hope. It is vital, for your psychological well-being, that you tell yourself the truth, otherwise you could very well end up driving yourself crazy with the notion that there's hope. I don't mean to sound mean, but I've noticed that for every response you get, you try to find another justification for not letting go. LET GO! Get counseling, because aside from your anxiety, it seems like you have another underlying mental condition. Maxmuscle is right, Your mind, essentially, is playing tricks on you. Fight that, and with time and counseling, you'll be ok.

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Oh my goodness! Monkey hasn't been here for months! It's a good idea to check the date of a thread before you reply.

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princess rose

Moi:

 

Oh my God! Thanks for the tip. I'll try to be more observant in the future. Well, Monkey, if you feel up to it, give us a holla, let us know how you're doing.

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