After break up, ex immediately signs up onto dating site?

[Distance_Sucks]

I'd like your thoughts on a certain situation.

 

My ex and I broke up and I had to move a few states back home after living with him for a year. I found out, not from him, that he had signed up on a dating site the night I left. He only made the account and didn't fill out a picture or any info. I don't tell him I know, nor do I do anything about it. I figure he must be hurting and missing me and trying to fill the gap with something?

 

A few weeks pass, I've gone NC but do reply a few times when he texts me so I won't seem rude or anything. I don't mention our relationship.

 

About 3-4 weeks have passed, I end up talking to him one night on messenger for a little, just light chatting and a bit of catch-up on our lives. I end the conversation for the night. The next day, something tells me to check his dating site, and he had updated his account with a picture and some info. Now I find it kind of odd, because he hadn't done anything with it before I talked to him (I checked sometimes. I know it's not healthy really, but I am coping fairly well and felt I could handle it). Could it mean that talking to me brings up feelings of loneliness and missing in him and it hurts him to think about our break up, so he tries uses filling out an account on a dating site to help cope?

 

Your thoughts please?

[USMCHokie]

Could it mean that talking to me brings up feelings of loneliness and missing in him and it hurts him to think about our break up, so he tries uses filling out an account on a dating site to help cope?

 

Ummm...I know this might sound preposterous, but have you ever thought that he's filling out his profile on a dating site because he wants to date women...?

[Distance_Sucks]

Right after he broke up with me? And then he ignores it for weeks until I talk to him again? I figure everyone goes through a period of pain and healing after a break up and almost everyone doesn't want another relationship right afterwards

[pandagirl]

Uhhh. That's a weird situation. I almost wanted to sign up for a dating site immediately after I broke up with my ex, just to distract myself and avoid thinking about him. But I didn't.

[spiderowl]

As you've broken up, he probably wants to try to move on. After a break up, feelings are so mixed and confused that we often do confusing and contradictory things. It may be that this is what's happening. Also, there can sometimes be a feeling of wanting someone to show interest to prove you are still desirable. All these could be factors. The worst-case scenario, I suppose, is that he doesn't have the strong feelings you do and is building a profile because he's looking forward to dating other women. Anything is possible. It also gives him something to do as he's no longer spending time with you - why not build a profile and experiment online? So there could be lots of motives but this is a step towards moving on.

[YSS]

Don't mean to be insensitive in saying the following....often times the "dumper" is usually ready to move on sooner than the person left behind. however, setting up an account the day he breaks up with you....its dumb on his end. Grant you, he might be more willing to move on sooner but in actuality, anyone he hooks up with right now is rebound....chances are he has not completely given himself some time to get over your relationship. Unless the relationship was over a long time ago. Reagrdless, we should not judge people, but if you are left to draw a conclusion, it should be by what someone does rather than what they say. In this case, actions speak louder than words. he is prowling......

[Distance_Sucks]

Something else I could mention that might be a factor is that I was his best and only real friend for that year, and he doesn't have any other friends where he is right now.

[Dazzel]

To be honest, I find nothing odd with this. When I broke up with my first boyfriend, I immediately responded to dating requests online. I was so sick of him by then there really wasn't much hurt anyways.

 

Just to let it be known, I have been the dumper in all my break ups. I've never been broken up with so I can't relate to the pain. And I'm sure it sucks. Dumping someone hurts too.

 

I started dating my current boyfriend less than a month from my second break up. Not all that odd.

 

Sorry about how you are feeling, though. I'm sure it must be very saddening for you.