Being judgmental.

[Fallen Angel]

Insinuate. Exactly. No they do not insinuate it. It is what you infer from their words. You automatically infer that I have an ulterior motive that is negative to ow and I do not. I have great sympathy for other women and want so badly for them to see that what they are doing is leading to heartbreak from all directions and a waste of their life. The most heartbreaking is when a young woman is wasting the best years of her life as this hidden secret and can't share her love with anyone. That is a horrible painful way to live while the mm gets the best of both worlds she gets no world. Then in the end she gets thrown under the bus and is forever damaged and not so young anymore. OUCH. I just want to shake the ow's to wake them up. Honestly how can you not wake up reading this board and other infidelity related boards. Case after case on the infidelity boards the mm are begging for forgiveness. The wandering spouse sections are loaded with cheaters trying to figure out how to get their previous life back with their family. IT SUCKS. Wake up to the reality of what cheating does to everyone!!

 

Good for them! At least they are making a decision!

 

Of course I infer the meaning in the words posted on this board, that is what you do when someone insinuates something, you infer it's meaning. the two go hand in hand. If they had not made the insinuation, I would not be able to infer the message in their words. Simple.

[greengoddess]

When I report an offensive post, i report the original post and every post in which it has been quoted. There is no point in removing an offensive post only to have it copied out somewhere else in the thread.

 

Shall I contact Tony and ask him to weigh in on this? I am certain he is more than able to tell of all the times he has had to moderate out the name calling that takes place, along with some of those "barely within TOS" comments. (I am glad that he is often able to see the intent behind the words, and moderates accordingly.)

 

 

Why report it? Seriously. We are all adults here. Why run and report a post you do not like? Why not call it out for what it is? I don't get it. Mommy he said something bad about me. For real?

[greengoddess]

Good for them! At least they are making a decision!

 

Of course I infer the meaning in the words posted on this board, that is what you do when someone insinuates something, you infer it's meaning. the two go hand in hand. If they had not made the insinuation, I would not be able to infer the message in their words. Simple.

 

Fair enough. How about an example where someone has insinuated something and then the inference you made. I think you infer incorrectly because of your own hidden somewhere deep down opinion about what you are doing.

[Fallen Angel]

Why report it? Seriously. We are all adults here. Why run and report a post you do not like? Why not call it out for what it is? I don't get it. Mommy he said something bad about me. For real?

 

Because that is what we are told to do. And everytime I have responded to a post, and "called it out for what it is" I have been reported and moderated... and Tony hates having to moderate me i am sure, since I do not slow down my posting while being moderated, which gives him MUCH more work to do!!

 

So yes, for real. I am doing what I agreed to do when agreeing to the TOS.

[Lizzie60]

Thing is.. for some OWs it is painful, for others it's not.. it depends on each situation.

 

In my case, I was a very young OW (15 yo), it lasted for 11 years .. then his W kicked him to the curb... he moved in with me.. I was still very young.. I ended our relationship (common-law) after 18 years.. so I was a total of 29 years with this man..

 

Would I do it again? NO

 

The first 11 years were sooo miserable.. I was head over heels in love with him.. he was with me too.. but couldn't leave his kids. He was also very insecure (when I think about it NOW)... with hindsight, I see things differently.

 

After my last ex.. (he was divorced) .. it lasted 5 years (common-law).. I left him at 50.. I THEN.. became very 'single' and went on a sexual rampage.. single or attached men.. I didn't care.. It was all about ME... and my fun..

 

Now I am more settled down now.. only kept the MMs that I really enjoy.. some I see regularly (weekly).. some monthly... but all of them have been seeing me for more than 5 years now. Plus they're all much younger.. the oldest is 7 years younger.. the youngest is 31 years younger..

 

To be honest, the only difference now with some OWs I read here.. is that I am NOT in love with any of them... I DO NOT want them full time. They know that... it's all good. I also don't see much difference with me (financially) than the other OWs who have their rent, phone, bills, paid for.. it's money as well.. (I doubt the MM writes and mails the check himself.. )...

[greengoddess]

Because that is what we are told to do. And everytime I have responded to a post, and "called it out for what it is" I have been reported and moderated... and Tony hates having to moderate me i am sure, since I do not slow down my posting while being moderated, which gives him MUCH more work to do!!

 

So yes, for real. I am doing what I agreed to do when agreeing to the TOS.

 

LOL such a stickler for rules. I am surprised you are in the situation you are in.

[greengoddess]

Thing is.. for some OWs it is painful, for others it's not.. it depends on each situation.

 

In my case, I was a very young OW (15 yo), it lasted for 11 years .. then his W kicked him to the curb... he moved in with me.. I was still very young.. I ended our relationship (common-law) after 18 years.. so I was a total of 29 years with this man..

 

Would I do it again? NO

 

The first 11 years were sooo miserable.. I was head over heels in love with him.. he was with me too.. but couldn't leave his kids. He was also very insecure (when I think about it NOW)... with hindsight, I see things differently.

 

After my last ex.. (he was divorced) .. it lasted 5 years (common-law).. I left him at 50.. I THEN.. became very 'single' and went on a sexual rampage.. single or attached men.. I didn't care.. It was all about ME... and my fun..

 

Now I am more settled down now.. only kept the MMs that I really enjoy.. some I see regularly (weekly).. some monthly... but all of them have been seeing me for more than 5 years now. Plus they're all much younger.. the oldest is 7 years younger.. the youngest is 31 years younger..

 

To be honest, the only difference now with some OWs I read here.. is that I am NOT in love with any of them... I DO NOT want them full time. They know that... it's all good. I also don't see much difference with me (financially) than the other OWs who have their rent, phone, bills, paid for.. it's money as well.. (I doubt the MM writes and mails the check himself.. )...

 

Lizzie plain and simple. You were abused. If a married man dare touch my 15 year old daughter...

[greengoddess]

If you wish for examples, I again direct you to find the thread in which i discussed that I allow My Sweetheart to pay my cell phone bill. The insinuations were numerous, my inferrences spot on. Anyone who can not see that, does not simply because they choose not to.

 

As to my own "deep down opinion" about what I am doing, what is it you are attempting to imply? Perhaps if you do not want people to infer meaning from what you say, you should speak it more plainly. I know what implication i think you are making, but I am certain if I were to speak it outloud you would deny it being the case.

 

I'm not implying anything bad. I think deep down you know you should not be involved with a married man.

 

Do you have a link to that thread? I would like to read it.

[Lizzie60]

Lizzie plain and simple. You were abused. If a married man dare touch my 15 year old daughter...

 

If you're talking NOW.. yes I would agree... but not in those years.. we're talking about over 40 years ago.. My mother got married at 16.. nothing spectacular about that.. in those years.. I was extremely mature for my age.. when I think about it.. I was babysitting a baby at 9 years old. Would you leave your baby with a nine year old girl ? no.. we can't compare 2010 with 1961...

 

I don't think I was abused to be honest..

[greengoddess]

If you're talking NOW.. yes I would agree... but not in those years.. we're talking about over 40 years ago.. My mother got married at 16.. nothing spectacular about that.. in those years.. I was extremely mature for my age.. when I think about it.. I was babysitting a baby at 9 years old. Would you leave your baby with a nine year old girl ? no.. we can't compare 2010 with 1961...

 

I don't think I was abused to be honest..

 

How much older was this man than you? I'm sorry.

[In_Repair]

OWoman, I'm not attacking you, but I have to say that I have never personally seen you clarify these points when others have used you as an example of a success. I'm almost certain that I've seen you even post in "success" oriented threads about your own experiences. Achievement is a synonym for success, isn't it?

 

I'm not sure if I'm considered one of the crazies or not, but I personally don't have anything against a person just because they find themselves in the position of an OM/OW. I think it was a bad decision, but I make those all the time. I was an OM myself. I am biased towards WSs to a degree, but not because I was hurt by one. My bias is because I have seen, over and over and over, their twisted line of bull**** and how they happily feed it to everyone around them. My own wife, my own MW, lots of my male friends. I see it from all angles and the one undeniable truth regarding a WS is that they are liars. They have proven themselves to be untrustworthy. That's not a judgement, it's a fact, and I will continue to point out that fact when I see a confused AP who seems to be buying into their MP's line of crap a little too much. Support can come in many forms, and I find it insulting that some of you think that your watered down pats on the back are any better than my form of "support".

 

As far as Lizzie goes... she is different. She is honest about who she is and what she does. You don't have to agree with it, but you do have to give her some credit. AND, just for the record... most of the married men we hear about on this board would LOVE to know a Lizzie or two...

[greengoddess]

gg,

 

Times were much differnt then than they are now. A girl was a woman at 16.

 

You can not compare a 15 yr old back then to a 15 yr old today, they are totally different breeds.

 

Just as back in the olden days when a "woman" married around the age of 13. A girl was considered a woman as soon as she started menstrating, and she was married off to a man in his late 20's or older to start having children. He was generally settled enough by then to provide, and needed a bride young enough to provide him with lots of children to help work the land as it were.

 

But nowadays we would consider that paedophilia.

 

Though if society changed again to require that households produce 10 or more offspring in order to insure the family line, due say to war or rampant disease, where infant mortality rates were to skyrocket, then you likely would again see a return to much older men having relationships with what we today would consider very young girls.

 

LOL she was not born in the 1800's.

[Lizzie60]

How much older was this man than you? I'm sorry.

 

He was 11 years older.. he was 26 at the time.. but even if he was older.. I don't think it mattered.. not in those years..

[Lizzie60]

He was 11 years older.. he was 26 at the time.. but even if he was older.. I don't think it mattered.. not in those years..

 

and I should add.. he wasn't an authority figure for me.. (like an uncle, father, teacher, etc..) then I can see it could have been different.. but then again..

[greengoddess]

LMAO! As I am very aware. i am just saying that to compare the 1960's to now is unfair.

 

A girl in the 60's was to be settled in a relationship with her future husband by 16 or be practically considered an old maid.

 

Are you kidding me? womes's lib, sexual revolution, free love IN COLLEGE. Um no I don't think so. Not a married 26 year old messing with a 15 year old. I'm sorry I think it was abusive and I think that may be why Lizzie is happily living how she is now. She got out from under the abuse she lived and now just wants to live for her, have fun and not worry about their spouses.

[Lizzie60]

LMAO! As I am very aware. i am just saying that to compare the 1960's to now is unfair.

 

A girl in the 60's was to be settled in a relationship with her future husband by 16 or be practically considered an old maid.

 

 

Whoooaaa...

 

In the 60s.. 15 year old was still too young to get married.. but it was normal for sexual experience... Peace and Love era..

[greengoddess]

and I should add.. he wasn't an authority figure for me.. (like an uncle, father, teacher, etc..) then I can see it could have been different.. but then again..

 

Purely for the sake of curiousity. How did you at 15 meet a 26 year old and begin a sexual relationship with him? Sorry the man is a turd and I hope he is now past the age of preying on young women.

[Lizzie60]

Purely for the sake of curiousity. How did you at 15 meet a 26 year old and begin a sexual relationship with him? Sorry the man is a turd and I hope he is now past the age of preying on young women.

 

 

It was common in those days... we lived in a small town.. so it was easy to meet.... he is now 69 and living with a woman (for over 12 years now I think) who is in her late 30s (and very beautiful and sweet).

[greengoddess]

It was common in those days... we lived in a small town.. so it was easy to meet.... he is now 69 and living with a woman (for over 12 years now I think) who is in her late 30s (and very beautiful and sweet).

 

She doesn't have daughters does she? Wow at least a 30 year age difference.

[greengoddess]

LOL. I thought that was more the late 60's, early 70's.

 

My mother always told me that she was expected to marry her highschool sweetheart as soon as she graduated. That many of her girlfriends had wedding showers almost concurrent with their graduations from highschool.

 

No this was the age of women's lib. You were expected to go to college and be somebody not get married and be barefoot and pregnant. Bra burnings and all that...

[Lizzie60]

She doesn't have daughters does she? Wow at least a 30 year age difference.

 

No.. she has 2 sons.. in their early 20s (I think)

[OWoman]

Case after case on the infidelity boards the mm are begging for forgiveness. The wandering spouse sections are loaded with cheaters trying to figure out how to get their previous life back with their family. IT SUCKS.

 

Then again, you get fWSs posting about how happy they are with their fOW, and how they don't regret leaving their xW for a second. Or fWSs posting about how they miss their OW, and are sticking it out with their BW trying to connect. Or others who are open about their prospects for future As, given how hollow their M is. There are at least as many of these categories of fWS here on LS as there are of the repentant, "I wish I'd never seen the OW" types. Most of the MMs "begging for forgiveness" are second hand - BWs reporting about how their WH is "begging for forgiveness", very few are the MMs themselves posting about it.

[silktricks]

We shop at Wal-Mart knowing that people half a world away are working in sweat shops like slaves.

 

Not that it's on topic at all --- but I won't shop at Wal-Mart.

[greengoddess]

Then again, you get fWSs posting about how happy they are with their fOW, and how they don't regret leaving their xW for a second. Or fWSs posting about how they miss their OW, and are sticking it out with their BW trying to connect. Or others who are open about their prospects for future As, given how hollow their M is. There are at least as many of these categories of fWS here on LS as there are of the repentant, "I wish I'd never seen the OW" types. Most of the MMs "begging for forgiveness" are second hand - BWs reporting about how their WH is "begging for forgiveness", very few are the MMs themselves posting about it.

 

That's because they talk out of both sides of their mouths. THEY LIE. They go home minimize the affair beg the wife for forgiveness go to mc all the while telling the owhe's just trying to calm little wifey down while he continues his affair.

[Lizzie60]

I agree with OW... at 15 I wasn't even looking at the boys my age.. they were big babies.. I wanted a real man.. but I have to say I was extremely mature for my age.