sasy lawyer Posted July 26, 2000 Share Posted July 26, 2000 My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over three years. I used to live in the building where he still lives in. We fell in love fairly quickly. I basically ended up having most of my stuff in his house, before I knew it I had keys and was basically living there. In between all that, we both distrusted eachother at different stages because of the friends we each hang out with. We basically rushed into it to fast. We broke up after the first year because he wanted "space". We eventually got back together a few weeks later...I have fooled around on him after thatwith two different guys, like flings to me, but never had sex with them..he never foudn out, but had suspicions leading him to really distrust me... I moved into a new building with my mom and now live 20 minutes away from him.But recently, I feel that he puts his friends before me and does not spend enough time with me and it hurts cuz I really love him. I left out a lot of stuff, but basically.. I'm graduating next year from college, he works as a chauffeur..its a pretty good job though, I know that my parents would like me to do better, I love him, but I feel that he is not paying enough attention to me, I want more romance, Is he worth all this stress?? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 26, 2000 Share Posted July 26, 2000 The reason we seek out companionship of the opposite sex is so we can meet each other's needs in a mutual fashion. I don't think it's asking too much for him to pay more attention to you and give you the romance that you would like to enjoy. You have fooled around on him, he distrusts you, he puts his friends before you...so what do you love about him? This is not the stuff of a movie of the week. If you have expressed your desires to him and he has not responded positively, he is certainly not worth the stress. I'd find someone more to my liking if I were you. You'll probably find that once you tell him you're splitting, then he'll want to spend more time with you. Tell him then that it's ttttooooooooo late!!! But don't ditch him before he gives you a nice long ride in his limo. Link to post Share on other sites
Charles Posted July 26, 2000 Share Posted July 26, 2000 It doesn't matter weather or not you had sex with those other guys, you should never have had the flings. You obviously don't love him enough not to keep looking He may put his friends before you but you put two other blokes before him at one stage. You must remember that he is who he is and you can't expect to go in there and compete with his friends because you shouldn't be competing with them. its not a matter of them or you its a matter of him having the freedom to still go out and have fun with his mates. accept him for who he is and if you can't do that move on and find someone else rather than drag on what you think will end up in tears. if you get on with his mates how about joining him? and if you don't then you'll only make him go against you by making him choose between you and them. if they were making him choose he'd probably choose you just because their not the best of friends for making him choose. and the same goes for you. if you make him choose he'll go against you for it. decide now weather he is the man you want to spend your life with, take a few weeks to decide even if you think you've decided earlier make sure you take 3 weeks because you don't want this to be a rushed decision. Once you know the ansewer put your foot down on yourself and stick with it. if you don't want him get rid of him. if you do then start accepting who he is and do your best to stay with him unless you REALLY get something that changes your mind. Charles Link to post Share on other sites
sylvia Posted July 29, 2000 Share Posted July 29, 2000 I have been w/ my man for a year and a half. We basically don't see eachother often enough and he has a difficult time communicating to me how he truly feels about me. I have told him that I love him but when I ask him he tells me that he is not yet sure or ready to tell me if he loves me. I am always there for him when he needs a favor, but he does not reciprocate the same support that I give to him, material and emotional wise. I have a five year old son and I am a single mom. I want to settle down, but at times feel as though I am selling myself short. I love him, but am not sure if he is worth it I am now back in school and trying to make a better life for my son and I. So, I feel that I need a man to be there for me. So is my man really worth the agony?? Link to post Share on other sites
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