how do you go on?

[confused]

I was engaged about a year ago....wedding was to be in January. Found out two weeks ago, that my fiance cheated on me back in the winter. I am told that he was confused and unsure about marriage, buying a house, basically growing up....He has this problem with finishing things...not just our relationship, but school, work, etc....Thing is I can't just seem to walk away from him....He tells me that he is very, very, sorry....He is seeking a therapists help to deal with a lot of issues that he has...Am I a fool for even listening to him....How, if I decide to, do I begin to gain back trust....any thoughts would be appreciated

[Amber]

Ok... That is definatly a tough one to give advice about, seeing as though each relationship is different. I take into consideration that he is seeking therapy. But... you say he is going to therapy for his "issues" not for BOTH of your issues. I firmly believe that a relationship is built on trust. Do you trust him? Do you think that he will do it again? I have learned recently that people in general are not flawless, we ALL have room to make mistakes. But when making your decision to stay or leave, make sure you put down all of the pros and cons. I am going to assume that he told you what he did, you didn't find out through "the grapevine." That should tell you something... but do you think that was the only time he did it? Do you see where I am getting at? No matter what you decide to do, you will always have that doubt, and there will always be those questions learking in the back of your mind. This is a decision that should not be made lightly, so I wish you luck, That above all YOU are the one who is happy.

[Charles]

Make sure he goes and seeks the help that he said he would.

 

if he's come clean about the lapse in your relationship

 

and you trust him not to do it again then put it behind you.

 

he's obviously sorry if he is not only seeking forgiveness but help to make sure it doesn't happen agian.

 

I hope your love for him can hold out through the other

 

annoying little things but if it becomes too much

 

break it off. if you think after breaking it off that

 

this hit home a point then by all means get together

 

with him agian. otherwise move on with your life.

 

It sound like you love and care for him very much though

 

and I'd guess that its the same at his end so all I can

 

say is to make sure he seeks the help he needs to get

 

through the issues and ask the shrink what you can do to

 

help.

 

good luck

 

Charles