Still Pining

[Ajax]

So I can't get to sleep tonight, it's 12:11 here in california. What am I thinking about? my ex..... dispicable me is coming to blu ray and dvd and we saw that on my birthday together... just killed me when I saw the Despicable me commercial about a half hour ago... Even no im really happy talking to this new girl and taking things slow... It got me thinking, has my ex even thought about me the past month and a half of NC? I feel almost betrayed... I've only been on 2 dates with this new girl and I'm not at that stage of cuddlig and watching a movie with her at my place quite yet, as stated before I wanna take things extra slow and do it when I feel ready... I'm thinkin it's the physical cuddling and shoulder to lean on thing I miss most. I haven't checked my ex's facebook in a long time, and don't plan on it because I no it will only hurt me.... Just venting I guess.. :/ good night guys I'll try to get some sleep

 

 

Yeah I know how you feel. Random things like that remind me of my ex too. It's kind of pathetic, but we were SUPPOSED to go see Toy Story 3 when that was in theaters. We didn't end up going, but just seeing the commercials for the DVD get under my skin. We didn't even watch it, but knowing that we were planning to makes me Not want to see it now.

 

As for having someone to cuddle with? That might be the case, but I've cuddled with the new girl I've been out with and I have to say that it just doesn't feel as good as it did with my ex. It's nice, don't get me wrong, but my ex just felt so right. It actually makes me resent her more, since things seemed to perfect and she was able to throw it away like that.

 

But as I said yesterday, I need to refocus my energies and stop thinking about her. I'm 99% sure that I will never see or hear from her again, so she has no bearing on my future.

[mgene15]

yea im pretty sure I wont be hearing from my ex or seeing her ever again as well, just tough, guess all I can do is grind through it.

[Gt.ooh]

Yea, I really couldn't say which way I'm leaning on if I'll ever see or hear from her again, but I can say I will probably hear from her at some point regarding furniture, or condo, just something... As far as seeing I'm by no means hoping/pining about that, but I have this gut feeling and had it for the past 2-3 weeks that I will see her again. Only because we are quite young and she has so many unknowns at this point, she has no idea what she really truly wants.

 

Anywho, u guys are what is keeping me going right now. I check LS every evening to see where you guys are at.

 

Cheers.

[Ajax]

I've decided to grow my beard back. I shaved about three weeks ago for my first date with this new girl, but I'm going to stop shaving again.

 

It's kind of funny actually. I was always cleanshaven with my ex. Not because she didn't want me to have a beard, but i just always wanted to be a clean cut guy for her. When she dumped me I stopped shaving because I wasn't really paying a whole lot of attention to grooming. Then after a while I started taking care of my appearance again, but kept the beard. I trimmed it so it wouldn't look unkempt.

 

Then I got the first date with the new girl and it had to go. But then I just didn't feel right. Like I had to my ex, I had become quite attached to my beard (pun intended) and just didn't feel like myself. I thought about going NC with the beard in hopes that it would help me get over it quicker. But then one day I went into my field placement in a 7th grade classroom and one of the students said she liked me with the beard better. I agreed.

 

Since the breakup, I think my facial scruff has become a part of the new me. It's a sign of maturity and change in the past few months. And unlike my ex, I can get it back.

[mgene15]

LOL, "I thought about going NC with the beard", classic. yea I got 2 tatoos since I broke up with my ex, It symbolizes a changed me.

[Gt.ooh]

Well for me, she wanted me to grow a go-tee...and I did. Left it for about 2 weeks after the BU, then I shaved it off and I've been clean shaven since...

 

Part 2 is kind of odd you guys may think...

 

My dad raised me on GM vehicles, and I've owned nothing but GM trucks...but now that I'm looking at newer 4x4 trucks...I've come across a Ford f-150...I've been taught "anti-ford" my whole life and I stressed to the ex I'd never buy a Ford..but I test drove it I like it a lot and I think I'm getting it...

 

I believe a brand name change on my trucks is a new me aswell. I'm quite excited to venture off the path that has been layed down for me thus far, and try and "do" new things all around.

[Ajax]

My dad raised me on GM vehicles, and I've owned nothing but GM trucks...but now that I'm looking at newer 4x4 trucks...I've come across a Ford f-150...I've been taught "anti-ford" my whole life and I stressed to the ex I'd never buy a Ford..but I test drove it I like it a lot and I think I'm getting it...

 

I believe a brand name change on my trucks is a new me aswell. I'm quite excited to venture off the path that has been layed down for me thus far, and try and "do" new things all around.

 

My family had Ford's up until a few years ago. Then they went to Toyota and Subaru. I have a ten year old Camry and have never had a problem with it. These days though Ford's are doing pretty well. Go with what you like.

 

So the new girl ended up spending the night last night. Nothing happened and it didn't feel wrong having her there, but it wasn't the same as with my ex. But I'm trying to get past the point where I'm compairing it. But it did feel strange sharing my bed with someone, but had it been my ex I don't think it would have been strange at all. Who knows where things will go.

[mgene15]

that's good for both of you, I two find myself comparing but It is what it is, guess it's a coping method of some sort. I was invited to a dinner at a sports bar by the girl im seeing, It's her friends birthday party, It's slated to be on saturday night, should be fun. and GT new things are good at a time like this I feel. So go with your gut

[Ajax]

that's good for both of you, I two find myself comparing but It is what it is, guess it's a coping method of some sort. I was invited to a dinner at a sports bar by the girl im seeing, It's her friends birthday party, It's slated to be on saturday night, should be fun. and GT new things are good at a time like this I feel. So go with your gut

 

 

That's exactly what I told my cousin, it is what it is. That being said, it ain't no rebound. I genuinely hope that something comes out of this. The test I give myself is, would I leave her if me ex came back into the picture, and my answer is that i don't think so. Obviously it depends on the circumstances. If this new girl were to turn into a monster then I wouldn't stay with her anyway. But as it is she seems to like me, and I like her. She deserves a chance.

[mgene15]

that's exactly how i feel, this new girl i'm talking to deserves a chance.. and I think about if my ex came into the picture I can honestly stand up to her and say no.. It's crazy how life can change in just a few short months... If you would have told me a year ago this scenario would be in my life like the way it is right now, I would have thought you were insane... but that's life

[Gt.ooh]

Well. Going to look at the truck tomorrow. Glad your guys' friends seem to be going somewhere...I got nothing again. I'm getting a bit down in the dumps with no one to spend holidays with and share memories, but I've decided to go with it will happen when u least expect it. I've been wanting it to happen for a while now and I think I just need to focus on my dog and this new truck...and get through the holidays..

 

I just don't know what to think atm... I have these credited flights that I had to cancel. A vacation would be nice, but I have no friends to go with me. I'm caught between a rock and a hard place because most of my friends now do nothing on weekends.. That's where I miss the ex so much. We were totally cool with going for sushi on a friday night, then just watching a movie or chilling with either family... Sigh...

[mgene15]

So my 3rd date went smoothly, We went to mvp sports bar and grill and watched the ufc fights on saturday. then we walked around downtown and had coffee. GT hang in there bro, I'm gonna be honest with you, going on dates with this new girl for the past month has been good for me, but it still doesn't remove my pain, It just puts my pain on pause for the duration of the date,But I'm giving It a chance and that's all I can do. I can't wait till the day that all 3 of us are on here still (hopefully) and we talk about our new significant others and can just laugh about the past. It seems so far

[Gt.ooh]

Yea, thanks for the support mgne. Tough going sometimes, and I do agree you feel great during the date...but your still not 100%, it's crap really...BUT nothing we can do. LOL I have to say I look forward to that day to my friend.

 

My dog helps me out amazingly, when I'd never feel like going for a walk she has to go for a walk.. and she is a great looking dog. Lady pick-er-upper lol. It's only a matter of time..I'm way more confident then like 2 months ago.

 

Still no truck yet, but going to look at one tonight. It's pretty sick looking, so we'll see.

 

Cheers guys'.

[Ajax]

Don't know about you guys, but my internet wouldn't let me log onto LS at all ovet the weekend. I hadn't realized how much it had become part of my daily routine.

 

So for now my biggest problem is the massive amount of school work I have to do before Christmas. Today I don't have to work or go in to school, so I'm taking the whole day to do work. I've got season 5 of Dexter to watch and a full pot of coffee. Here we go!

 

I'm still thinking about the ex more than I should be. It's been four months since the breakup. I just want to forget everything.

[mgene15]

yea same ajax, I couldn't log on all weekend it simply wouldn't load the page and I realized how much I needed this site in a way. I also wan't the feelings of my ex to be gone and just vanish, this can't go on forever. I have another date lined up for this weekend, we're going to see the nutcracker, should be fun.

[Fermentum]

Don't know about you guys, but my internet wouldn't let me log onto LS at all ovet the weekend. I hadn't realized how much it had become part of my daily routine...it's been four months since the breakup. I just want to forget everything.

 

That's like my life right now. It's been nearly 7 weeks NC and I still dream about her every other night; now I just want to excise everything out of my mind. And not being able to get on LS over the weekend was terrible! With so much school work and so much stress it's a solace whenever I miss the emotional security of her to be able to come on here.

 

At least Christmas is almost here! Are people excited? That's got to help.

[Gt.ooh]

I couldn't get on either. Christmas is a nice time of year, family and friends, but does hit a soft spot when it comes to not sharing with a special someone. (well not so special anymore)

 

Thinking about her a lot lately too, just like you Ajax. This last 3 days more than ever I just want to send a pic of my dog with a santa hat, and just say happy holidays. I just don't know anymore..I mean the writing is on the wall here that if you do 9/10 times it won't be a good reply or one at all. But our minds tell us otherwise. (everythings' happened in the exact order so far..)

 

Anywho, on to better a brighter things. Doesn't look like I'll end up with a truck for a little while yet, so I'm going to be patient. I've been patient my whole life and met an awesome girl (still don't regret any of it, just a rough patch in our lives) and who knows what the future has in store for us. All I can really take of this is be true to yourself.

 

High fives all around to you guys' I wish you luck in coping/dating.

[Ajax]

So much work to do, so little time. I have to focus today so I can get everything done. This year Christmas just doesn't seem that appealing to me. I remember talking about it with my ex before she left. I know I won't hear from her, and it's sad. This has been the hardest year of my life.

[paperbag111]

I feel you bruv...this year it's not really appealing to me too. I was hoping to spend this festive season with her but looks like I'll have to spend it without her. I'm not in the mood for it, everywhere I go it seems like everyone's a couple holding hands and kissing, getting ready, happy. Reminds me of her. It's been nearly 6 months for me now but like Gt.ooh said, it's really hitting the soft spot now seeing all of this.

 

Me...? I haven't even gotten a tree this year. Depressing.

[mgene15]

yea I didn't get a tree as well, And I really hate hearing the christmas songs 24/7. I use to be a huge fan of xmas, but since my ex left I can't deal with it. Hang in there guys, We should all make some type of new years resolution for sure, just really ready for this year to end, worst year of my life by far. 09 was fantastic, 10 was God awful..

[Ajax]

yea I didn't get a tree as well, And I really hate hearing the christmas songs 24/7. I use to be a huge fan of xmas, but since my ex left I can't deal with it. Hang in there guys, We should all make some type of new years resolution for sure, just really ready for this year to end, worst year of my life by far. 09 was fantastic, 10 was God awful..

 

 

For me the firsy half of '10 was great. I was the happiest I'd ever been. Then after the breakup it all came crashing down. We can't go back and relive those good times though. Despite what Dave Matthews says, we have to place our better days in the future.

[mgene15]

yep, I'm going on date number 4 to see the "Nutcracker" live. We talked and both agreed to take it extremely slow and not rush into things because it eases the transition into boyfriend/grilfriend if you take things slow dating first. She's going back home (to texas) for a week to see her family on sunday and called me saying she really want's to see me before she leaves, so we set up "Nutcracker play date this friday" lol, so the weekend after next I won't be able to see her, but we only see eatchother once a week as I stated earlier we're taking it slow, I'll just focus on work more when she's gone and hang out with friends the weekend she's not here. jus wanted to update you guy's on my situation. hope Gt, Ajax you guys have a good time with family and friends this christmas, cheers!!

[Ajax]

yep, I'm going on date number 4 to see the "Nutcracker" live. We talked and both agreed to take it extremely slow and not rush into things because it eases the transition into boyfriend/grilfriend if you take things slow dating first. She's going back home (to texas) for a week to see her family on sunday and called me saying she really want's to see me before she leaves, so we set up "Nutcracker play date this friday" lol, so the weekend after next I won't be able to see her, but we only see eatchother once a week as I stated earlier we're taking it slow, I'll just focus on work more when she's gone and hang out with friends the weekend she's not here. jus wanted to update you guy's on my situation. hope Gt, Ajax you guys have a good time with family and friends this christmas, cheers!!

 

Way to go mgene! Sounds like you're doing the right thing.

 

I'm in a serious funk this morning. It's cold and I have a ton of work left to do for my class tomorrow. And memories of the ex are still leaking into my mind. Yesterday I found a bottle of wine that I'd gotten when we went on a wine tour. I thought I'd gotten rid of everything that reminded me of her.

 

My cousin's GF broke up with him around the same time as mine, but he was doing worse since he never did NC. I talked to him last night and it seems that they're getting back together now. I don't think it'll last, but it still got under my skin.

 

Here's a link to a thread a started the other day about how I'm feeling about the past year http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t257122/ . I almost feel like since the breakup I've been living in a parallel universe that I'm not supposed to be in. Or that Doc Brown will show up in the Delorian and say that I need to go back in time to correct the timeline. I know it is what it is, but it's like I'm going down the wrong path.

 

If I had money and didn't have so much work to do I'd go on a vacation somewhere far away. Somewhere warmer. Maybe Italy or something. As it is I'll just keep plodding along. Plod plod plod...

[Billie The Puppet]

If I had money and didn't have so much work to do I'd go on a vacation somewhere far away. Somewhere warmer. Maybe Italy or something. As it is I'll just keep plodding along. Plod plod plod...

 

I'm going there in '11 and like you the first half of '10 was great the latter not so much. I was going to propose in Italy, I have minor leakage of the ex but NC has been the best thing for me. It was semi broken yesterday. That I mean my younger sister looked up her FB and said wow none of us are mutual friends anymore. This broke NC to me in a way as I followed up with what's her display picture and she replied it's her and Actress Beverley Mitchell.

 

BTW That picture was taken by me at an event we went too. The fact that I am replying stating this says something. I did get curious by asking but when I received the answer I didn't even bother to look her up well I can't because I would then have to unblock her to do so and I didn't even ask to look at my sisters screen.

 

My reply basically says I still think of my ex but I am way past the I need her stage. I feel like she is not an enemy but I can't be friends with her because the person she is now is just not friends material and this is unbiased or not related to us or the post break up us. Had I been given the truth and not a run around I could be friends but she is no longer a priority hasn't been for some time now.

 

Now my relationship with her sister is almost like nothing has changed, we talk mostly on FB some times on phone or text and even meet up. I cherish her friendship nothing really has changed here except and this is the only reason I said almost is it's not as often as it used to be but thats because I went from seeing her every weekend to not at all bar the few times we meet up. Thing is now that we meet up the friendship is based on me and not on the fact that I was her sisters boyfriend. It really is a great feeling that they respect me for me and we even made a pact that we would only progress our friendship based on me not on my ex so we have decided not to share any information on the ex what so ever. I told her I don't want to hear anything positive or negative about my ex through her. She is so glad I have been taking this so maturely and agreed. With this it took off all pressure of awkwardness you'd think would come from remaining friends.

 

Now I am in a generally better state of mind than 5 months ago and it I suppose shows as I am now only stopping by LS and that's generally because

I feel like I have shared a bond with some of you guys and curiosity gets to me to see how you guys are doing. I really hope to see on par with me or better because it's the positive aspect.

 

Just let it be known thoughts and memories of the good times generally will outweigh the bad because it's human nature to block out the negatives. I don't mind the good thoughts anymore, the bad thoughts only surface when I want them too.

 

Thing is I feel more positive because lately there seems to be women taking an interest in me be it online, offline etc. I think I am still a little damaged because I don't want a relationship right now but I do it's hard to explain perhaps its my fear of change that I have always had.

 

Anyways AJAX hang in there. Loved your reply to the xmas text thread I can't do that with my ex if she were to text me because her number is only 2 digits different than mine as I got her her number.

 

Xmas, I guess I have it a little easier than you guys. Xmas is hard as we got together as a couple in December but I am taking a different approach as you guys, I will be getting a tree spending it with family and embracing it as I always had I can't be a downer as Xmas has always been special to me with or with out a girl on my arm. It's my first xmas in 4 years I am single so it will be different but one thing is for sure less gifts to buy now that's a positive though I always loved xmas for giving. I have noticed a slight decrease as I use to take more passion in gift giving and this year Ive got nothing with so little shopping days left. I am heading out shortly to start the shopping.

Edited December 16, 2010 by Billie The Puppet

[mgene15]

sorry to hear that Ajax, I woke up this morning wishing my ex had called, checked my phone for the first time since I can remember....so strange.... when do you plan to see this girl you have been talking to? I'm sure it will put the pain on pause for a bit