Still Pining

[Ajax]

As for the trip, sunny skies, great scenery, hills were tougher to climb especially the first day. It was bittersweet. I was the youngest and the rest were in their 50s. 2 couples and one other older single woman. I really enjoyed kayaking and seeing al the sea lions. As much as the kayaking, hiking and cycling were great, I really missed having someone to share it with. Due to logistics, my lodging was not with the others so had breakfast alone everyday and dinner too a few times. Truthfully, here is the pathetic part of me, if I was with my ex, we would be doing this on our own without the need to sign up for adventure travel. But that will never happen and this is my life. I am all over the map emotionally and nothing worse than coming home to an airport with no one waiting for you to realize just how alone one is.

 

 

It sounds like fun activities despite the fact that you were alone some of the time. If I were in a little better shape I'd think about doing something similar. Maybe I'll get my bike out and I'll meet ya there next year

 

As for landing at the airport with nobody waiting for you, I can see how that would hit home a bit. I imagine I'd feel similar. Regardless, I hope you had some fun. You definitely deserve it.

 

I completely understand your feelings of jealousy. Like others who have commented she is living life and moving on. While nothing is perfect one hundred percent of the time, her and the new guy are moving forward day by day.

 

I admit that I'm a little jealous that the new guy is "taking my place" as it were, I can't say I have any real animosity towards him. It's just that... he took my place. Just like I took the place of the guy who came before me, another decent chap as I understand it.

 

I think I'd be feeling jealous even if she were single. Her family has a new addition (her new niece or nephew, not sure which) and for some reason I still feel left out.

 

I've also been thinking lately that I would have had a much easier time putting her behind me if I knew I was never going to see her again. As I've mentioned before, I'm in her cousin's wedding in October and she might be there. Or she might not, as she's bailed on many family activities in the time that we've been broken up.

 

I don't see the wedding as an opportunity to reconcile. I really don't. I just don't know how to carry myself if she is there. I know indifference is the ideal mindset. But I won't be indifferent, and I doubt I'll be able to convincingly behave indifferntly.

 

I'm also torn between whether I hope she shows or not. Part of me wants to see her regardless. Another part wants to be able to enjoy the party without worrying what she's thinking about me.

[YSS]

Ajax

Thanks for your kind words.

 

I would be a wreck if I knew I had to face my ex with his new love interest. I get it that "life goes on" but there are some things I do not need to witness first hand. Indifference is the ultimate goal for all of us to achieve, cause when you are there, you know that you are willing and able to move on.

God willing we will all get there. Just taking longer for some of us. I hope for you that your healing brings you to the stage of indifference by october. This way, whether colleen is there or not, is irrelevant.

 

I think we should have a reunion and meet mid-way for a day of something. Thoughts?

 

Decided to get a dog!!!!! Have been thinking about it for a while and decided to do it. Downside it's a puppy.....god give me patience! I think a dog will give me some purpose.

[Ajax]

Indifference is the ultimate goal for all of us to achieve, cause when you are there, you know that you are willing and able to move on.

God willing we will all get there. Just taking longer for some of us. I hope for you that your healing brings you to the stage of indifference by october. This way, whether colleen is there or not, is irrelevant.

 

Agreed. And I hate to be a Negative Nancy, but I just think that if I haven't reached indifference after neary a year, another three months isn't going to get me there. I've had trouble articulating this feeling. I've come a long way in accepting things the way they are. I know I'm strong enough to not approach her at the wedding. I don't even want her back. Haven't in months. But I know that she could still get an emotional reaction out of me, even if it's not one that she wants.

 

Should I see her at the wedding, I'm not afraid that I'll declair my undying love for her or try to get her back. I'm afraid that 1) The new guy will be there and it will get under my skin, and 2) Should she approach me and try to "catch up," I'll blow up at her. At the same time I don't feel like I could ignore her. I can't be cold, it would be an act and she'd see right through it.

 

But it is still three months away, so I'm trying not to think about it too much.

 

I think we should have a reunion and meet mid-way for a day of something. Thoughts?

 

I like that idea, though I guess I don't know what mid way is. I certainly won't be biking it yet

 

Decided to get a dog!!!!! Have been thinking about it for a while and decided to do it. Downside it's a puppy.....god give me patience! I think a dog will give me some purpose

 

What kind are you getting? I think it's a good move. Dogs are great and they definitely lift the spirits. And puppies are a lot of work, but then you get to build the bond over their lifetime. We got our dog as a puppy when I was in high school, so she's never known anyone else.

[GreenPolicy]

Who was it that said "There are no coincidences."? I don't want to make you paranoid, but it smells fishy. Did anyone else know you were doing this OKC thing? Did you provide enough info in your profile for an educated guess? Is your ex the kind of person who might put someone up to this? Is she fishing?

 

I really don't want you to tear open old wounds. Just keep your mind open & your guard up.

 

I ended up writing the girl back:

 

"Hi, I appreciate you writing and want to say thanks for your compliment, but I am not interested in conversing any further. Please respect my wishes. I will say, however, that you have good taste in friends. C_____ (the ex's real name, but I didn't identify how I know her) is a lovely and remarkable woman with a beautiful soul. Good luck with your search and take care.

 

D_______ (my real name)"

 

I have a lot of people that are telling me that they think this a rather remarkable coincidence if that is indeed the case, and I should not be surprised if it is a fishing expedition. If my ex had something to do with this message, it would be understood that my remarks are aimed squarely at the friend who wrote the message, and not my ex? I certainly don't want to get involved with the friend, divulge details of my life to the friend that would get back to my ex, or end up learning details about my ex that would hurt me.

[Ajax]

I ended up writing the girl back:

 

"Hi, I appreciate you writing and want to say thanks for your compliment, but I am not interested in conversing any further. Please respect my wishes. I will say, however, that you have good taste in friends. C_____ (the ex's real name, but I didn't identify how I know her) is a lovely and remarkable woman with a beautiful soul. Good luck with your search and take care.

 

D_______ (my real name)"

 

I have a lot of people that are telling me that they think this a rather remarkable coincidence if that is indeed the case, and I should not be surprised if it is a fishing expedition. If my ex had something to do with this message, it would be understood that my remarks are aimed squarely at the friend who wrote the message, and not my ex? I certainly don't want to get involved with the friend, divulge details of my life to the friend that would get back to my ex, or end up learning details about my ex that would hurt me.

 

I don't know that this was particularly beneficial to you. I think it's pretty safe to say that this will get back to your ex one way or another.

[GreenPolicy]

I don't know that this was particularly beneficial to you. I think it's pretty safe to say that this will get back to your ex one way or another.

 

I didn't initiate the correspondence. I've been NC pretty much since the beginning and have never in any way shown any anger or bitterness towards my ex. She waited three months after the breakup to contact me to ask for her bike back. The last time I saw her in January, I was polite and pleasant. My parting words to her were "I just want to say: take care of yourself, I wish you well, I will always care about you, and thank you for letting me be a part of your life."

 

Maybe I could have phrased it a little better, but by complimenting my ex on what I believe are her good qualities, I felt I was sending the message that I hold no bitterness towards her. It is true that I'm not over her, it takes a long time to heal from being violently and abruptly cut out of somebody's life like that, but that's different from being spiteful, jaded and bitter and hating somebody. While it hurt and I didn't like it, I had to respect my ex's wishes to pursue what she felt was best for her. I have felt a lot of anger over what happened, but that is a normal emotion to process. I don't believe I projected any anger towards my ex in that message.

[Badenov]

I have a lot of people that are telling me that they think this a rather remarkable coincidence if that is indeed the case, and I should not be surprised if it is a fishing expedition. If my ex had something to do with this message, it would be understood that my remarks are aimed squarely at the friend who wrote the message, and not my ex? I certainly don't want to get involved with the friend, divulge details of my life to the friend that would get back to my ex, or end up learning details about my ex that would hurt me.

 

Hard to say. Since she wasn't hiding the fact she was friends with your ex, it can't be too duplicitous. It just might be a fix-up. You never met her before, so maybe your ex talked about you & made her curious. Maybe she figures her friend's loss is her gain? Or maybe the ex just wanted to see if you'd take the bait to see if your over her. All sorts of possibilities.

 

But you made the right call.

[GreenPolicy]

Hard to say. Since she wasn't hiding the fact she was friends with your ex, it can't be too duplicitous. It just might be a fix-up. You never met her before, so maybe your ex talked about you & made her curious. Maybe she figures her friend's loss is her gain? Or maybe the ex just wanted to see if you'd take the bait to see if your over her. All sorts of possibilities.

 

But you made the right call.

 

What kind of message do you think I conveyed?

 

C________ is a lovely and remarkable woman with a beautiful soul. Good luck with your search and take care.

 

D________

 

 

Me being on a dating site (we met on one ourselves) sends the message that I am not waiting around on her to come back. And it's not like I found this girl's profile and initiated the correspondence after seeing she was friends with my ex.

[Badenov]

What kind of message do you think I conveyed?

 

C________ is a lovely and remarkable woman with a beautiful soul. Good luck with your search and take care.

 

D________

 

 

Me being on a dating site (we met on one ourselves) sends the message that I am not waiting around on her to come back. And it's not like I found this girl's profile and initiated the correspondence after seeing she was friends with my ex.

 

Exactly. You took the high road, and that's always the right thing to do. You conveyed a message of "no hard feelings, but I've moved on." An ex GF ALWAYS wants you to act like a jerk so she feels justified. The more of a gentleman you are, the more they kick themselves for letting you go.

[Sugarkane]

Hi Ajax I could relate to your thread as I've made the 1 year mark myself. Its hard to believe. If you have to go to this wedding where you'll run into the ex, is there a friend you could with you? For a bit of moral support maybe.

[Ajax]

Hi Ajax I could relate to your thread as I've made the 1 year mark myself. Its hard to believe. If you have to go to this wedding where you'll run into the ex, is there a friend you could with you? For a bit of moral support maybe.

 

I'm going to ask a lady friend to be my +1. If she declines I'll be going solo.

[Ajax]

If you have to go to this wedding where you'll run into the ex, is there a friend you could with you? For a bit of moral support maybe.

 

Actually I started thinking about this a little more today after responding to you... What's the proper eitiquette for something like this? The girl I was thinking of inviting is a close friend but only superficially knows the bride and groom. Is it even appropriate to bring a guest who you're not seriously dating?

[Billie The Puppet]

Actually I started thinking about this a little more today after responding to you... What's the proper eitiquette for something like this? The girl I was thinking of inviting is a close friend but only superficially knows the bride and groom. Is it even appropriate to bring a guest who you're not seriously dating?

 

I don't see why not, My mother went to a wedding as a date to her now serious boyfriend but at the time the dating had just begun and she knew no-one at the wedding and was just getting to know her date.

 

I don't believe eitiqutte applies to the situation at hand. The + 1 invitation is just what it is for face value plus one.

 

The proper question would be if this lady friend is interested in spending time with you at the said wedding.

[J0N]

Ajax,

My mother and father went to a wedding as friends over 30 years ago. They had a really great time together, my dad asked my mom out on a date a couple weeks later. A year after that they got engaged... the rest is history. They celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary a few months ago, they are so old. haha.

 

I am sure that this is not your intention, but I would go. Especially if your friends in your wedding are close ones. If you see your ex, and your not having a good time at the reception then bail early.

[Ajax]

I don't believe eitiqutte applies to the situation at hand. The + 1 invitation is just what it is for face value plus one.

 

The proper question would be if this lady friend is interested in spending time with you at the said wedding.

 

Billie, great to get your perspective again! How's everything going with you?

 

I don't know if she's up for going, but if she does I know we'll have fun regardless of the "ex factor." We've been friends for 8 years, and are as close as friends of opposite sexes can be platonically. She knows what happened with Colleen so she wouldn't be put in an awkward position if she talks to me.

 

I am sure that this is not your intention, but I would go. Especially if your friends in your wedding are close ones. If you see your ex, and your not having a good time at the reception then bail early.

I am sure that this is not your intention, but I would go. Especially if your friends in your wedding are close ones. If you see your ex, and your not having a good time at the reception then bail early. Yesterday 9:17 PMI am sure that this is not your intention, but I would go. Especially if your friends in your wedding are close ones. If you see your ex, and your not having a good time at the reception then bail early. Yesterday 9:17 PM

 

I'm one of the groomsmen, so the wedding is unavoidable. And if I missed it I would regret it anyway.

 

But for better or worse, my ex is his cousin.

 

It comes down to this:

 

1) I don't want to see her there with her current boyfriend

 

2) regardless of whether or not she's with him, I don't want to talk to her

 

I'm confident that I can go without initiating any contact there. I'm anxious that she'll just come up to me and start acting like we're friends who haven't seen each other in a year. I don't want any superficial and forced interactions with her. I don't want to discuss any apsect of our relationship or breakup. I don't want to catch up. But I also don't want to come accross as bitter or a jerk, and have other people see that.

[Billie The Puppet]

Billie, great to get your perspective again! How's everything going with you?

 

It just a measure of my healing I suppose that I am able to go on without seeking advice from here. I tend to be reminded of this place and this thread is the first thread I look for because it's been an experience I have shared as the timeline had paralleled mine in the beginning. I suppose I projected my situation upon yours. Well I can definately say I am stronger than I was when I first started coming here. So much so NC is no longer an issue for me. In fact you can say it is somewhat broken. The reason I say somewhat is it's very minor. She added my to msn about a month or 2 ago. I guess I never blocked her on that and well I accepted the friends request. I just felt I was at the point that I could accept it. I've seen her online a few times but never made contact nor has she (directly). Now I say directly because there has actually been attempts from her side. Thing is I have retained my friendships with people I met through her. At first I unfriended all of them on FB because I thought it would have been awkward but I slowly added them back or in some cases accepted their requests. Anyways her cousin in Florida a few months back was giving me obvious hints to contact my ex. Her MSN status the day she added me was also about second chances. I don't believe that is even the remote way to go about a second chance, I am also not actively seeking one either else I would have jumped on those breadcrumbs because they are of the more solid ones compared to those a year ago. I also have far more knowledge of her than she has of me and they are actually unattractive traits now so in this time apart I have lost attraction. If one were to ask me if I would get back together with my ex now. My answer would be Its impossible to tell because there is no foundation to build upon. The past is exactly that the past. I really don't know how to explain myself right now so I'm just typing what comes to mind. I'm open to communication if she makes the initiated call directly not indirectly,but I don't care to contact her otherwise. I can't say I want a relationship with her and I can't say I don't want one either. Basically if anything happens from here on out it will happen naturally.

[Ajax]

I don't believe eitiqutte applies to the situation at hand. The + 1 invitation is just what it is for face value plus one.

 

The proper question would be if this lady friend is interested in spending time with you at the said wedding.

 

Well here's the development, and it's kind of funny and sad at the same time.

 

We went on a wine tour yesterday, my friends who are getting married, some other friends, and I invited the friend who I was planning on asking to the wedding to go too. There was a guy there who my friends invited who I hadn't met who was hitting on her all day. It was quite the spectacle. Later he asked me if I'd mind him inviting her to the wedding as his guest.

 

FML.

 

I pretty much said "yeah whatever" and went to get another glass of wine.

 

I figure he might as well, since if they were going to be that way during the wedding I'd rather not bring her along myself. Plus she's not my girlfriend, people need to make their own choices.

 

So I'm left in a potentially even more awkward position at this wedding. The friend I was going to go with will likely be going with someone else, and my ex will likely be there with her current boyfriend.

 

One thing that I found sketchy is that at one point my friend asked if she could borrow a pen, so I gave it to her. Then she cut this guy a check. I have no idea why, and it wasn't my business to ask. So I just held my tounge.

Edited July 17, 2011 by Ajax

[onlyafool]

Dude, I probably don't need to tell you this, but you should have asked her to go already. Then when this "orbiter" asked if he could take her, you could have a had the pleasure of saying, "Nah bro, she's going with me."

 

Learn from this and take care to make sure you take your fate in your own hands.

[YSS]

Ajax

I know this upcoming wedding is causing you some angst and it's hard to know our EXs have moved on let alone have to see it. It feels worse cause you feel you are showing up solo. It's the way it goes with this friend, look at it this way, would of been worse if at the wedding she was flirting with others since she is just there as a friend.

 

Is there another friend you can ask? Just for clarification, did this guy just meet her and want to invite her to the wedding? Sounds rather bold, perhaps I misunderstood.

 

I have gone to many weddings solo and it does suck. Who knows what may happen between now and the wedding, lets hope you just reach indifference. This way it won't matter. Ask yourself, if your EX was not there would you care if you w net solo? I knew a male friend who just could not go to any sociAl event on his own. Always needed a plus one, even if it was a friend. No judgement, I understand things are more fun shared.

 

As for the pup he is a lab mix and driving me bonkers. We had to potty in the pouring rain, how fun was that.....not much! Send me patience.

[Ajax]

Is there another friend you can ask? Just for clarification, did this guy just meet her and want to invite her to the wedding? Sounds rather bold, perhaps I misunderstood.

 

 

No, you pretty much got it. I invited her along on the wine tour because she doesn't know the bride and groom overly well, though they've known each other through me for a few years, and thought if she were going to go with me it would be good for them all to catch up. The guy who went is a friend of the brides, and neither of us had ever met him. But they pretty much hung out most of the day.

 

At first it was kinda funny. Then it started to get obnoxious, as he was obviously turning on the charm. Then he started being really friendly with me (getting me on his side?) And then asked if I minded if he asked her... which is also kind of odd in my book. I don't know if she'll agree to go with him, and frankly I don't care now since coming with me is off the table. Not out of jealousy, just that I wouldn't want to invite her and then have them spending the whole time together.

 

Is there another friend you can ask?

 

My only other real option would have been another girl I dated a few years ago who was friends with the bride and who I've maintained a pretty close friendship with afterward. She didn't make the cut for invites, not because of drama but because they had to stop somewhere. I know she wants to go and she's been dropping subtle hints the past few months to me.

 

My gut's always been telling me not to bring her though...

 

Ask yourself, if your EX was not there would you care if you w net solo?

 

I'd rather have someone to go with, but no, if it weren't for Colleen's presence there I would not mind going alone as much.

 

As for the pup he is a lab mix and driving me bonkers. We had to potty in the pouring rain, how fun was that.....not much! Send me patience.

 

This happens. Just wait till winter Sending patience your way!

[Graceful]

I'm on a roll tonight, Ajax, so you might as well reap part of the benefit of my wrath on anyone and everyone that is messin' with my friends on LS.

 

Now this guy who was hitting on your friend. Let's address this for a sec.

 

Let me say this as politely as possible. Now, he met her for the first time at the wine event? Hit on her unabashedly? Then asked if he could ask her to this wedding which does not take place for 3 months (count them 3 MONTHS), when they have never even been out on a date???!!!

 

So he's making the assumption, and being presumptuous enough to assume he and she will be an "item" in October?

 

Seriously?

 

Far be it for me to poke fun at this dude, and your friend sounds like a lovely person, but if this isn't a case of the cart before the horse, and this guy looking like a bit of a back side of the horse, I don't know what is.

 

Enough about them.

 

As for you. I think it's a great advantage to go alone, I really do. You're in the wedding party, there will be other people in the wedding party you can hang with, and it also gives you the leeway to go and do what you want and not worry about being attentive to a date. Frankly, this is the way I see it.

 

You do not need a date like a prop. You can stand proud and tall on your own. If you can go on your own, take the presence of your ex with a grain of salt, I honestly think it may be a turning point for you.

 

It might really help you turn a corner. And seriously, as for your ex? Her BF is just some guy, she's not engaged, he's just some guy she's dating. If you wanted to be dating someone, you could have a "GF" by now too, and you know it. The fact is, you don't want to force your emotions, and you're okay with being on your own right now. So going to the wedding alone is fine, too.

 

To thine own self be true. That's all that counts. You're fine on your own. Bet you're gonna look like a real heart breaker in your suit, too. You can't go wrong going alone, IMHO. Much, much better choice.

 

Yeesh, still can't get over that dude. As for the check ... if you find out what it was for, let us know. I was thinking maybe he wanted to invite her to a concert and she insisted on paying for her own ticket, maybe??

 

Good night, Ajax, and sweet dreams.

[Ajax]

I'm on a roll tonight, Ajax, so you might as well reap part of the benefit of my wrath on anyone and everyone that is messin' with my friends on LS.

 

Now this guy who was hitting on your friend. Let's address this for a sec.

 

Let me say this as politely as possible. Now, he met her for the first time at the wine event? Hit on her unabashedly? Then asked if he could ask her to this wedding which does not take place for 3 months (count them 3 MONTHS), when they have never even been out on a date???!!!

 

So he's making the assumption, and being presumptuous enough to assume he and she will be an "item" in October?

 

Seriously?

 

Far be it for me to poke fun at this dude, and your friend sounds like a lovely person, but if this isn't a case of the cart before the horse, and this guy looking like a bit of a back side of the horse, I don't know what is.

 

Enough about them.

 

As for you. I think it's a great advantage to go alone, I really do. You're in the wedding party, there will be other people in the wedding party you can hang with, and it also gives you the leeway to go and do what you want and not worry about being attentive to a date. Frankly, this is the way I see it.

 

You do not need a date like a prop. You can stand proud and tall on your own. If you can go on your own, take the presence of your ex with a grain of salt, I honestly think it may be a turning point for you.

 

It might really help you turn a corner. And seriously, as for your ex? Her BF is just some guy, she's not engaged, he's just some guy she's dating. If you wanted to be dating someone, you could have a "GF" by now too, and you know it. The fact is, you don't want to force your emotions, and you're okay with being on your own right now. So going to the wedding alone is fine, too.

 

To thine own self be true. That's all that counts. You're fine on your own. Bet you're gonna look like a real heart breaker in your suit, too. You can't go wrong going alone, IMHO. Much, much better choice.

 

Yeesh, still can't get over that dude. As for the check ... if you find out what it was for, let us know. I was thinking maybe he wanted to invite her to a concert and she insisted on paying for her own ticket, maybe??

 

Good night, Ajax, and sweet dreams.

 

Thanks for your input Graceful. As always, you're pretty persuasive Going solo's never sounded so appealing! I'll see how things play out.

 

Yeah, this guy seems pretty presumptuous. I think part of my issue with him the other day was that I'd had a certain expectation that my friend would go with me that is pretty much in question now. I also felt a little protective of her, and I just didn't like this guy. I don't know what the check she gave him was for and I don't think it's appropriate to ask. But if she ever brngs it up I'll let you know.

[YSS]

Need a bit of venting and by no means Intend to hijack your post.

 

I feel hopeless. I am never going to move beyond this breakup while it has been well over a year and he has moved on. Went out for lunch with a friend and I there was a family with two kids at a table close to us. From the back, the guy looked like my EX and knowing he is with someone with young kids, I just got ful of anxiety thinking it was him. At the end it wasn't but all can think of this oats week is how he is enjoying his summer with the new love, doing family related things and I am just stuck. While my head tries to convince me differently, I feel and believe with my heart that I will never feel for another like I felt for him. I feel like I will spend my entire life alone since this has been the case for the majority of my adult life. Pity party, it's not my intention but I just feel hopeless about having any real personL joy in my life. Am i alone feeling like this?

 

Puppy is adjusting well, making me batty day to day. While he is a good dog, he is not a replacement for real human connection.

[Ajax]

I feel hopeless. I am never going to move beyond this breakup while it has been well over a year and he has moved on. Went out for lunch with a friend and I there was a family with two kids at a table close to us. From the back, the guy looked like my EX and knowing he is with someone with young kids, I just got ful of anxiety thinking it was him. At the end it wasn't but all can think of this oats week is how he is enjoying his summer with the new love, doing family related things and I am just stuck. While my head tries to convince me differently, I feel and believe with my heart that I will never feel for another like I felt for him. I feel like I will spend my entire life alone since this has been the case for the majority of my adult life. Pity party, it's not my intention but I just feel hopeless about having any real personL joy in my life. Am i alone feeling like this?

 

Heartbreaks seem to take way too long to completely heal. I think you're going through some similar anxiety as I was when my ex's niece/nephew was born a few weeks ago... them moving forward while you're feeling stagnant. But you are moving forward on your own path. Your paths aren't together though.

 

As for feeling that you'll never feel the same way about someone else again... time will tell. I know that's no help But I don't want to throw out the cliche lines that you'll meet someone when the time is right. But the truth is that you will. It might take a really long time, but someday you'll find someone worth opening your heart to.

 

I've definitely had moments where I've sworn off women, love and the whole nine. I know how it is to want that human connection and not have it. And it's hard to see yourself with someone else when they're just an elusive theory.

 

Keep moving forward. Enjoy your puppy. Try to relax and let peace of mind come to you.

 

And keep us posted!

[Ajax]

Well, it's time for the obligatory ex's birthday post. Don't worry, I'm not wondering if I should break NC and wish her a happy b-day. I'm simply marking the day and observing how things have changed in the past year. A year ago on her b-day I went all out. Flowers at work, baked her a cake, gave her a handmade construction paper card etc... I really hammed it up, but my intentions were to show her how special she was to me. This year... maybe her boyfriend will go all out, maybe he won't.

 

But it's just another day in the life of Ajax. I've got a couple applications to finish up for teaching jobs. Later I'm going to grill up a decent sized fish I caught over the weekend. I should also give the dog a bath, since last night she put her head in said fish's bucket and now smells pretty bad. Shouldn't be too bad of a day

 

It's also coming down to the one year mark for the breakup itself, August 14th. Forgive me if I decide to mark that date as well.