Forgotten Already?!

[TigerCub]

Just wondering how long you have been in this relationship. Sometime they start our like you said with alot of attention and over time not so much. very painful but true. This has happened to me recently and its not so fun. .

 

It's been a little over a year since I met him.

We did the emails/texts/coffee breaks, etc since

He got back with the GF in Januaury

So it became an EA after that.

Then EA/PA

 

Sorry you've been through that pain as well

 

Hard to understand because when we do talk its just great for us both. Soooo why does it not happen more often.

 

I know that if I hadn't done the constant NC/backing down from it, we would have continued with that "relationship" for a long time.

 

He kept asking me to go places with him, but I wouldn't.

I kept going back and forth with my feelings and NC

 

He knows I'm seeing someone else.

 

It's a mess

[2sunny]

call it what it really is... an affair.

 

he's not your friend. a friend calls me and keeps in touch and goes places with me - NEVER making it a secret.

 

when it's a secret - you are no friend.

 

he's taken. it's inappropriate.

 

wait until he is free and available. you may wait forever. are you willing to wait forever?

 

if you're not - then don't contact him again - and get busy dating men who are available. he's not... that's why he keeps you a secret.

 

why is that enough for you? it shouldn't be - you deserve way more happiness in life to need to settle for that little bit of nothingness.

 

he knows it too - that's why he's not taking action = he knows it's wrong (he feels guilty) and he knows you deserve more.

[TigerCub]

call it what it really is... an affair.

 

he's not your friend. a friend calls me and keeps in touch and goes places with me - NEVER making it a secret.

 

when it's a secret - you are no friend.

 

He kept in touch, we talked about a lot of personal stuff that other people didn't know about us. we joked, we hung out we were friends.

 

I don't know about the secret part - I mean I'm SURE that his gf doesn't know about me, but its not like we didn't go out in public together, we've gone to the casino, for drinks, for lunches, movies, etc...

 

he's taken. it's inappropriate.

Can't argue with that! He is taken, and what I was doing with him, isn't right. That's why I was hoping we could just be friends again - but yes, I admit that my actions the day of the talk make a different statement

 

wait until he is free and available. you may wait forever. are you willing to wait forever?

I'm certainly not waiting for him. I'm seeing other people, and keeping my options open.

 

if you're not - then don't contact him again - and get busy dating men who are available. he's not... that's why he keeps you a secret.

 

Again, maybe a secret from baby momma, but we do go out in public, and he's not "hiding" me

 

why is that enough for you? it shouldn't be - you deserve way more happiness in life to need to settle for that little bit of nothingness.

 

It isnt enough for me, that's what was causing the internal conflict, and my constant attempts at NC. But I did have a connection with him, and there was love there, and that's what kept it going - its not an excuse, it's just what happened.

 

But now because of this latest "incident" - I'm seeing things a lot differently.

 

he knows it too - that's why he's not taking action = he knows it's wrong (he feels guilty) and he knows you deserve more.

 

Uhm...no, he actually doesn't feel guilty, he has constantly asked me to go places with him, do more things with him, he wants to sleep with me, etc. I don't think he feels guilty, and if he could have gotten all he wanted, he'd go for it without a second thought.

 

whether he thinks I deserve more or not, is not important...I believe that I deserve better - I'm just really hurt at how all this unfolded in the end.

 

Thanks for you reply