nikki Posted July 26, 2000 Share Posted July 26, 2000 i have hurt my boyfriend in many cruel ways the past 3 and a half monthes. i am willing to make some changes for he and this relationship but im afraid ive made too many promises in the past that he wont bielieve i won t hurt him again. the thing is ive never been so sure of myself in my life.I know he still loves me but is he willing to take me back..i want one more chance to make this right.no more head games i swear...he will be number one..i just need him to let me try...he has nothing to lose. Link to post Share on other sites
Rogue Posted July 26, 2000 Share Posted July 26, 2000 Here's my two cents Nikki.I'm not an expert,so I don't know how much help I can be.I also don't know much because you haven't said how exactly you've hurt him. I'm assumming you've hurt his feelings a lot? Just be honest with him.Don't make excuses for your behaviour towards him.Don't point fingers at anybody. Tell him how you think you've hurt him.(This is important because it shows you've tried to think of his feelings.) Example: " I've been really nasty lately.It must've been hard for you,having to put up with me.It must've been embrassing to have me talk like that to you....".It's important to talk about HIS feelings for a change,and to let him tell you how he's been hurt. Let him vent a little. Listen to him when he does. Try to make an effort to understand his pain. Next is "I'm sorry." Magic words when you really mean it. Example :"I'm sorry I was like that.Now that I've thought about it,I feel really bad about my behaviour.I feel awful." Be sure to let him know that you feel bad about hurting him and that his feelings are important to you. After that is "I'll do better." Be sincere,and be sure to let him know about how much effort you plan to make to do better,not the results.It's the effort you plan to make is important,as well as the thoughtfulness behind it. The "closing" is trying to intimate with him again.Hugging and kissing and other genuinely affectionate things.Make him feel GLAD he stayed with you! During the whole time,be as serious as you can.Conduct all this somewhere private and quiet.Good luck!(sorry Nikki,this is the best I can think of.) Link to post Share on other sites
Amber Posted July 26, 2000 Share Posted July 26, 2000 It seems to me (but who am I) that you are trying to convince yourself and everyone here that you have changed. When in reality, it doesn't seem that way to me. I think that you may be scared to be alone, just as this guy pull away, you are sorry and want to apologize. You can only walk on someone so many times before they get fed up and walk out, you know? You have made a step in identifying the fact that you have not been the nicest person to this man you say you care a lot about. I say, take a step back, be his friend, and let him learn that you have changed or are willing to change. You can't expect him to feel the same way he did, when you did whatever you did to him. Take your time... if he is worth it, you will. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
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