Overheard bf talking about other girls to his buddies....

[Miss. Honey]

Went to my bf's house the other day. I was walking by his window and it was open. I was about to yell "hi i'm here" but I overheard him and two of his buddies talking about photographs from a recent trip my bf and I went on.

They were looking at a photo of my bf getting off the back of an elephant onto a platform. There were two cute blondes to help you get off the elephants back. And he told his buddies that the reason he was smiling in the photo was because the girls were soo hot he could not believe it and he wanted to do them right there. He said he became aroused. And he kept going on about it.

I felt sick when I heard him describing what he wanted to do them.

I stood there in shock, he then went on to describe a trip with his ex girlfriend and his ex girlfriends friend came on to him in a hallway of a hotel they were all staying at and he said he wanted to go for it but was nervous because his girlfriend was in the hotel.

I never heard him talk like this before, I always trusted him. Now i'm not so sure I can. What should I do? This is such a shock. We have been together for two years.

[SweetD]

Eeeesh. I know this must have been extremely painful for you to hear. Honestly, my boyfriend is 30 (don't know if age might be a factor) but all of his friends know how much he loves me and I truthfully don't think he would even feel comfortable going into all that detail with them about past "hotties" and whatnot. However, I don't doubt at all in my mind that when he is having a "bro's" night at the bar or whatever that he occasionally throws in hot chick comments. Thats to be expected. I will say that your boyfriend sounds slightly uncommited, but mostly immature.

[atlnay]

I know overhearing convos can be painful, but your guy didn't do anything "wrong" relationshipwise. You busted him shootin the shizz w/his boys & talking about chicks. Unless your boyfriend is on his way to a ministry, that's how lockerroom talk goes. They were either going to be talking chicks or sports. Now, why has your trust wavered? Did he promise not to do certain things & based on the overheard convo, you found out otherwise?

[Woggle]

My friends and I talk like that but I would never think of ever cheating on my wife. It's just the way guys socialize with each other. I am sure some women have similiar sessions amongst themselves as well.

[Untouchable_Fire]

I never heard him talk like this before, I always trusted him. Now i'm not so sure I can. What should I do? This is such a shock. We have been together for two years.

 

Good chance he was just trying to impress his friends.

 

Do you think he would be comfortable knowing all the things you think about?

 

It's a 2 way street... it's just you seem to have more of a talent for eavesdropping.

[PegNosePete]

There is an old saying, you never hear anything good by listening at doors.

I agree with the others, its just guy talk, girls have the same talks too I've heard them outside the cinema whenever a new Twilight film comes out... Edward this, Jacob that...

[Maggotface]

I can completely understand why you're hurt and upset. The whole hot blonde thing is one thing because thats just guy talk although it's never a good thing to hear your guy say he'd totally "do" some other chicks. But the ex's best friend thing is another story. He would have went for it if his girlfriend wasnt around? How do you know he wont go for it if you're not around him? I'm not sure how you could bring this up with him but I think you need too if it bothers you that much or you think he has cheated.

[Miss. Honey]

That is why I feel sick about this. He said she gave him oral and she wanted to do more but thats as far as it went. I thought we had a great relationship.

It felt like I was listening to a stranger talk. I was bringing him and his buds food, my arms were full, I just wanted to yell in the window to open the door, it happened so fast. I walked away in shock. I don't know if he ever cheated on me. I am trying to figure out a way to bring this up. I am too emotional to think straight right now.

[atlnay]

First, try and get your emotions under control. As for his the ex & her bj givin friend...again, did he tell you this story or was he telling (perhaps bragging?) to his boys about an incident in the past? Please don't create probs where, up till that overheard convo, there was none. Not saying your dude is a saint, but if he has given you no reason to suspect him to date, dont start looking or acting like he did something. Thats a surefire way to create what you are trying to avoid. If you are hurt about what he said, I mean you can bring it up, but I'd suggest you let it go & if you find your mind constantly going there, find a healthy hobby to distract yourself. Unless you have other concerns that this is all trigerring...

[ComeUndone]

I agree with:

 

There is an old saying, you never hear anything good by listening at doors.

 

and:

 

I agree with the others, its just guy talk, girls have the same talks too

 

but this:

 

I've heard them outside the cinema whenever a new Twilight film comes out... Edward this, Jacob that...

 

is a lot different that what the OP was speaking about. Her bf was reliving actual events and real interactions with females: getting a hard-on over some blondes standing a foot from him, and in another scenario, considering screwing his girlfriends friend right there. Not the same as getting wet about some hot but untouchable celebrity.

 

In any event, I do agree that this is the way guys talk around each other. I've heard my boyfriend say plenty of things that rubbed me the wrong way, but it is what it is.

[ComeUndone]

That is why I feel sick about this. He said she gave him oral and she wanted to do more but thats as far as it went. I thought we had a great relationship.

It felt like I was listening to a stranger talk. I was bringing him and his buds food, my arms were full, I just wanted to yell in the window to open the door, it happened so fast. I walked away in shock. I don't know if he ever cheated on me. I am trying to figure out a way to bring this up. I am too emotional to think straight right now.

 

Whoa... you overheard him say that too? That past behavior would bother me...

 

Do you know anything about that particular gf, like if they had a bad relationship or were on the outs??

[carhill]

OP, one, decide if you can accept this kind of behavior from a BF. After all, those male friends are looking at you and know what he's told them. We each have our own comfort levels with such things. Two, erect and enforce firm boundaries for what behaviors and words you will and will not accept. Know that *some* men engage in 'locker room' talk as adults; not all. Decide if that dynamic matches up with your boundaries.

 

Your action of bringing him and his friends food at the time you overheard such utterances did not go unnoticed by me. Remember, actions in the here and now are what need to be congruent with your boundaries. The past is the past. Good luck

[Joe Normal]

This isn't just guy talk, it's guy talk by someone who is unlikely to stay faithful. Guy talk would be "Man, if I was single I'd have totally jumped her bones" or something like that. Not qualifying things by mentioning the fact that he has a gf or relationship at all is a big red flag.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

he then went on to describe a trip with his ex girlfriend and his ex girlfriends friend came on to him in a hallway of a hotel they were all staying at and he said he wanted to go for it but was nervous because his girlfriend was in the hotel.

.

 

That is the only part I'de have a issue with the rest is sleezey guy talk when some they men get together I think there age and IQ generally goes down. But most of the time its harmless but that comment goes to far for my liking.

 

Cause to me it shows he would cheat if given the opportune chance better you learn this now then later after a few lifelong STDS I'de break up and take it as a blessing in disguise so sorry op..

[SpanksTheMonkey]

He said she gave him oral and she wanted to do more but thats as far as it went.

 

I don't know if he ever cheated on me. I am trying to figure out a way to bring this up. I am too emotional to think straight right now.

 

I think you know the answer and what you need to do is now crystal clear again im very sorry..

[Citizen Erased]

I don't Blane you for feeling hurt after overhearing what he said. Nobody likes to hear the person they love expressing a desire for someone else. That you can get over. I don't know if the fact he cheated on his ex is something you can however. Some people can say what's in the past is that. If you can live with that then good luck in your relationship. I know personally, it would be so out of character for my fiancé to both be talking like that in the first place, let alone cheating and I'd really doubt just how well I know him and if I had fallen in love with the person I thought he was but isn't.

[Ruby Slippers]

That is why I feel sick about this. He said she gave him oral and she wanted to do more but thats as far as it went.

So he cheated on his ex, and now he's bragging to his friend about how he wanted it to go further.

 

I completely understand you feeling like you don't know this person. I'd feel the same way. And I'd probably dump him.

[Woggle]

Do people here honestly think women don't talk the same way amongst themselve?

[Citizen Erased]

Do people here honestly think women don't talk the same way amongst themselve?

 

If you read closer you will see that isn't the issue. The fact he got a BJ off his ex's best friend while he was still in a relationship is. A lot of people don't want to be with a cheater, let alone one that finds it a hilarious story to tell his mates.

 

I'm sure women do. It isn't nice to overhear but I'm sure most people do it. Just because everyone does something doesn't make it less of an unpleasant thing to hear. But I think the description of the cheating is actually what did it for her.

[Ruby Slippers]

Do people here honestly think women don't talk the same way amongst themselve?

I have never bragged to my friends about cheating on someone and wishing I could have done more with the guy, and neither have any of my friends. If a female friend bragged to me about this type of thing, I would let her know up front that it's not cool and I don't condone it.

 

In fact, in college, I had a friend (no more) whom I knew was cheating on her fiance, and I declined her invitation to be her maid of honor because of it, and told her why. I had hung out with the guy a few times, and I didn't see any honor in standing up there in support of her lies. A week later, she broke off the engagement. I felt sorry for the guy, but glad that at least he was spared from getting married under false pretenses.

 

So history has shown me that upholding my values through behavior can and does have an impact. I would never promote cheating in any way, for anybody, least of all myself.

[Woggle]

I actually didn't catch the cheating part. That is wrong but both men and women like to have their locker room kind of talks.

[Woggle]

I also wish there more women like you instead of the ones who high five each other about it and act like they are empowered feminists.

[Enema]

Guy says to his male friends that he got a blowjob from his ex's best friend.

 

10% chance that it ever even happened.

 

Stop reacting to guy talk that isn't any of your business. You should operate based on how he treats you.

[Miss. Honey]

I asked him why he and his ex broke up on a few occasions, he never gave the same answer. He would give some excuse that made no sense , so I never pushed the issue. I do know she left him after a 4yr relationship and he was heartbroken. I asked if he cheated on her and he said no. But I doubt he would admit that to me.

[atlnay]

I asked him why he and his ex broke up on a few occasions, he never gave the same answer. He would give some excuse that made no sense , so I never pushed the issue. [/QUote] Were I you, the bolded part would concern me wayyyy more than the lockerroom banter. Perhaps that is really why you are upset? If his answers have been inconsistent, you have always known something was off, despite all the other great things about him. Overhearing that convo just triggered your suspicions.