DontWorryBHappy Posted September 12, 2010 Share Posted September 12, 2010 Today I had a job interview and realized about an hour before that the bus I needed wasn't running today. So, lucky for me a guy that I met once through my brother was able to give me a ride to the interview. After I finished he decided to come back to my place so that we could eat and hang out. I played some piano and guitar for him and we just talked for a while. One interesting thing is that he ended up asking me about my previous exes and seems REALLY interested in hearing about how those relationships panned out, then he told me about his. I'm really not interested in dating him so for me it was definitely just a friends thing (obviously not sure about his end of that). Anyway, I commented that I had been really wanting to see a particular movie and he suggested we watch it. My laptop is really bad for watching movies though, and he said he could get the movies to stream from his TV, so we went to watch it at his place (but not before playing some nostalgic Nintendo games). Well out of nowhere he gets a call and I find out it's his most recent ex. When I heard it was the ex I joked around with him by saying "Uh oh... ex drama!" in a funny voice. Well even though I thought I said it quietly suddenly I hear my friend telling her, "No there wasn't any negative comment... I just told her you're my ex" and he continued to console her like that for the next couple minutes. She ended up coming over to watch the movie with us (which I was nervous about at first because she thought I said something negative about her, and because I felt weird hanging with him and his ex..lol). Basically the whole evening she was critical of him. There always seemed to be something he said or did that pissed her off (although sometimes she seemed like she was trying to act as if playing around... but it just happened SO MUCH). Also, she would keep turning to me and telling me various things about him like, "He always does (insert random thing here)" and then then she'd usually whine to him about something else. I dont know... It was just one of the odder evenings I've had in a while. And to put in bluntly, it seemed like his ex is totally "on his dick" all the time (not in a literal sense but as in she kinda wants to feel some ownership of him). In any case, I highly doubt they have a normal friendship. In the end none of this should bother me too much since I dont really want to date my friend. But I'm thinking this girl is gonna annoy me if I need to hang with her when I hang with him. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted September 12, 2010 Share Posted September 12, 2010 next time she bangs on, just cut her short and say (within his earshot) "I'm not really interested, honey. You're his problem, not mine." Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontWorryBHappy Posted September 12, 2010 Author Share Posted September 12, 2010 (edited) Lol by the end of the evening the whining thing WAS getting pretty damn annoying. Basically she would whine to him about something he said, then he would console her, then this would repeat itself again. At one point I caught myself saying "Children, children..." lol. I'm hoping she doesn't view me as some sort of competition. Eating ice cream with the two of them was one of the more awkward moments I've had in a while... mostly because every time I looked up from my ice cream she was staring at me. And my friend started getting a head ache so he wasnt talking much by then... lol. I'm very serious about not being interested in dating him though.... the girl is just damn annoying (even though I was nice to her and she probably doesnt know I think shes annoying). And it felt awkward to me when she drove me home (with him in the car) then he walked me to my door while she waited for him in the car.. lol. I guess the reason it all felt so weird is because they honestly seemed more liked a bickering couple than friends. Maybe it also seems weird to me because I've NEVER had a successful, normal relationship with an ex.. ESPECIALLY a recent ex! And since this is apparently a pretty recent ex of his (and because of the way she treats him) I can totally picture the whole thing blowing up in their faces not too long from now.. lol. Also... I think he told me that their relationship didn't work out because she felt he wasnt giving her enough time and attention. lol... Edited September 12, 2010 by DontWorryBHappy Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted September 12, 2010 Share Posted September 12, 2010 Remember Eleanor Roosevelt's famous saying: "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." Well, I'm not talking inferior, here, at all. But you can only be led into and take part in the mess, if you let yourself be led into it, and take part in it. TbH, it's really none of your business. But I would definitely make it clear to your friend that dating anybody (not just him) is not on your books right now. It sounds as if he's looking for a way to detach from her gently, and having another girl on his arm would make it easier. Don't even be the make-believe rebound. If you think he might have an interest in you, you really should nip it in the bud a whole lot sooner than later. Make it very clear to him, that you have no interest in him, romantically. And tell him he really needs to ditch the leech.... Show him the No Contact guilde!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontWorryBHappy Posted September 12, 2010 Author Share Posted September 12, 2010 Lol yeah I hear you on that. I definitely do hope he doesn't have an interest in me.. that would make things easier and avoid a weird conversation. But yeah, part of me really felt like saying, "You know.. as your friend, I have to tell you that this girl seems like she's trying to control you." but I don't like confrontation so I wouldnt say that.. lol. Link to post Share on other sites
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