bluryy Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 Hey people, just to clarify, is it possible to have a relationship with purely zero cuddles and physical touch? Look, im not even talking about Sex here. But it seems like my girlfriend has a warped idea towards cuddling. Whenever i try to get close to her, she will just push me away. We were on the bed but NOTHING happened. OMG. PS- We are both each other's first. Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 It might be possible for some people but it wouldn't be for me. I love cuddles and if a guy can't do that, then I wouldn't like it. If you don't cuddle and touch, then how's the relationship any different than any other relationship you have with anyone else? Cuddling and touching are the basics, if you ask me. You need to lose this girl and move on. She either isn't attracted to you or is too cold to ever make you happy. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 This is a fundamental incompatibility. LAUNCH. Link to post Share on other sites
tornandmarried Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 yeah doesnt sound like much fun.....either shes not really into u or shes just scared to get close to someone in fear of being hurt.....maybe u can warm her up tho spend more time talking, gettign to know each other till she feels the need to just reach over and hold you Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 Hey people, just to clarify, is it possible to have a relationship with purely zero cuddles and physical touch? Look, im not even talking about Sex here. But it seems like my girlfriend has a warped idea towards cuddling. Whenever i try to get close to her, she will just push me away. We were on the bed but NOTHING happened. OMG. PS- We are both each other's first. I don't think she has any feelings for you. You might have a heart to heart with her, but I don't think you'll like the answers. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 OP, what differentiates cross-gender (assuming hetero) intimate relationships from platonic friendships and familial adult relationships is the component of physical/sexual affection, love and intimacy. Otherwise, you'd just be at a buds house drinking beer, eating ribs and working on his car. Now, you can spend inordinate amounts of your time, as I did as a young man, 'fixing' broken people or you can find people who naturally and voluntarily meet your needs and expectations for an intimate and loving relationship. It's up to you. Do you see something fundamentally unhealthy about someone who will have sex with you but not 'cuddle' with you? When you said 'first', to me this means you and she lost your mutual virginity together via sexual intercourse. Correct as appropriate. Regardless, physical affection is a natural component of healthy adult love. Pushing you away is a form of rejection, rejection you should not suffer from a loved one. If you cannot communicate effectively about it, and/or it does not resolve within a reasonable timeframe, I'd leave the relationship. Life is too short. Link to post Share on other sites
AprilShowers Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 I am this type of girl. I love my honey with everything but affection is just so weird for me and we have talked about it. Maybe you should ask her why? Good luck with whatever decision you make. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluryy Posted September 13, 2010 Author Share Posted September 13, 2010 Thanks for the replies guys. We did had heavy petting in the past, we did got involved physically in the past. But it seemed that, after some time, it seemed to her as if it's some form of sins to be doing that. Does she love me? i have no doubts about that. But i believed that family upbringing could be the reason why she seemed so against this. Perhaps her parents do not show signs of affections towards each other? Well, sorry if i confused you guys. first is that, we are both each other's first love. We are both virgins and we did engage in sexual activities like petting, handjobs. But it seemed like after some time, she totally lost that form of interest in me. Secondly, zero affection as in, she doesn't like to make out. How is that possible? It's insane. It's driving me crazy. Can sexual compatiability be strong enough a reason to end a relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 Can sexual compatiability be strong enough a reason to end a relationship? Big yes. Speaking from experience, bad idea to enter into a relationship if you're not matched in that area. But you can try working it out before walking if it's working for you otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
Lovebone Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 You should try AAA (Ambien, Alcohol, and Al Green) Link to post Share on other sites
AprilShowers Posted September 13, 2010 Share Posted September 13, 2010 Thanks for the replies guys. We did had heavy petting in the past, we did got involved physically in the past. But it seemed that, after some time, it seemed to her as if it's some form of sins to be doing that. Does she love me? i have no doubts about that. But i believed that family upbringing could be the reason why she seemed so against this. Perhaps her parents do not show signs of affections towards each other? Well, sorry if i confused you guys. first is that, we are both each other's first love. We are both virgins and we did engage in sexual activities like petting, handjobs. But it seemed like after some time, she totally lost that form of interest in me. Secondly, zero affection as in, she doesn't like to make out. How is that possible? It's insane. It's driving me crazy. Can sexual compatiability be strong enough a reason to end a relationship? You need to ask her about her upbringing, talk to her. Yes sexually incompatibility has killed many relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluryy Posted September 18, 2010 Author Share Posted September 18, 2010 i think it's not that nice to talk to her directly about this right? i totally have no idea why, but she just doesn't like the idea of making out. I have given up all hopes on her, and right now, i think i'm just going to NOT initiate making out with her, and NOT touching her physically. Let her initiates if she want to. I don't get it, it's really really frustrating. At 21, we shouldn't be behaving this way, arent it? but problem is that, she has not been attached before, and she feels that this kind of thing's are for the ADULTS. i'm like wtf? She don't really understand me. Personally i think that it's not a problem for a guy to want to physically bond with that girl, and i'm not even talking about sex in the first place. How is this possible? Someone enlighten me? It's really really frustrating. Guys, you understand right? It's like you don't feel that you're wanted. Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted September 18, 2010 Share Posted September 18, 2010 (edited) i think it's not that nice to talk to her directly about this right? i totally have no idea why, but she just doesn't like the idea of making out. I have given up all hopes on her, and right now, i think i'm just going to NOT initiate making out with her, and NOT touching her physically. Let her initiates if she want to. I don't get it, it's really really frustrating. At 21, we shouldn't be behaving this way, arent it? but problem is that, she has not been attached before, and she feels that this kind of thing's are for the ADULTS. i'm like wtf? She don't really understand me. Personally i think that it's not a problem for a guy to want to physically bond with that girl, and i'm not even talking about sex in the first place. How is this possible? Someone enlighten me? It's really really frustrating. Guys, you understand right? It's like you don't feel that you're wanted. You would be better off just ending this relationship with this person instead of sitting around feeling unloved and unwanted. This type of behavior that your gf exhibits is extremely abnormal and it's tying you up in knots, understandably. It doesn't matter why she's like this. I learned a long time ago that people are what they are and there is absolutely no point whatsoever in trying to get them to change so that everyone can live in harmony. If you aren't harmonious now, you never will be. And I'm not talking about situations where the relationship is basically good and the couple runs into problems. Yea, in that case, absolutely try to work it out. But in this situation, this girl is so far off the mark that it's not even worth working on. This strange and distant behavior of hers is too deeply ingrained to ever expect it to be fixed. A truly good and loving relationship isn't this much work. This girl not only doesn't understand you, she doesn't understand very much in the way of relationships at all. Wanting to make out and kiss and touch are extremely basic things in a relationship. Women feel this as much as men. You're thinking it's you or your gender and she's got you questioning your own natural desires. This is just nuts. Walk away from this girl and let her live her crazy, cold life with someone else. You need to find someone who understands the concept of closeness. You're way too young to be dealing with this kind of heavy relationship. You should be having fun and feeling loved by a sweet and warm girl. Go find her. Edited September 18, 2010 by Angel1111 Link to post Share on other sites
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