Jump to content

He may be a serial cheat, but I'm too spoilt to leave

bohogirl

By bohogirl,
in The Other Man / Woman

 Share Followers 4

Recommended Posts

YellowShark

YellowShark

Posted
Posted
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1311410/He-maybe-serial-cheat-Im-spoilt-leave-him.html

 

I was forwarded this article by a friend. It is basically the viewpoint of a BS who remains married to a serial cheater.

 

I am not surprised. Are you?

 

I found these words very familiar after reading threads on LS:

 

When I confronted Robert, he was furious that I’d gone through his belongings, then blamed me for being cold and distant.

 

He told me I should accept his ‘fling’ was just a small mistake and get over it. But, after a long night of tears and recriminations, he begged my forgiveness and vowed it would never happen again.

 

If I only had a nickel for every time I read those quotes on LS. :D

Link to post
Share on other sites
Mimolicious

Mimolicious

Posted
Posted (edited)

Isn't this the case in any scenario?

 

You can have 25y/o kids living at home because they are SUPER SPOILED.

 

You may stay at a current job because your are SPOILED with your working arrangements and the routine.

 

You may prefer to hang out with one BFF more than another because she SPOILS you.

 

You may like your uncle Bob much more than uncle Mike because he has SPOILED you rotten since you were a kid.

 

You chose Daddy over Mommy, because you're his little princess and he SPOILS you rotten.

 

Why would I be surprised? People like comfort and being "spolied"? Why give it up when turning the eye is far more easier. They weight out the "pain" with the "perks". Some care that much...

Wonder how many would turn the eye if they were extremely abused and starving. Yet, some still do...

 

It's a personal choice not a trend.

Edited by Mimolicious
Link to post
Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia

LucreziaBorgia

Posted
Posted

I saw that earlier today, and it really doesn't surprise me. It is far more common than people think particularly among the very wealthy.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Shakz

Shakz

Posted
Posted

Such is life. Money changes everything. I actually feel a bit sorry for this woman, because she traded everything she might have become for a lead role in a cage.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
bohogirl

bohogirl

Posted
  • Author
Posted

JJ - hello:). I knew what your response would be!

 

It is all about choices. This BS turns a blind eye because she wants to. An objective person believes that she could have the comfortable lifestyle without hubby. However, in her eyes he is part of the package - she needs her friends and family to believe that she is being taken care of by "her" man even if he is playing away.

 

I understand this because I have witnessed that mentality. It is all about putting on a show. When you act like everything is fine you start to believe it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia

LucreziaBorgia

Posted
Posted

I have to admit, that if I were married to an incredibly rich man who lived his life at my emotional expense, I'd damn well live out my life comfortably at his financial expense.

Link to post
Share on other sites
donnamaybe

donnamaybe

Posted
Posted
It is all about putting on a show. When you act like everything is fine you start to believe it.
BS aren't the only ones who do this. IMO, I see OW doing it all the time here.
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
bohogirl

bohogirl

Posted
  • Author
Posted
BS aren't the only ones who do this. IMO, I see OW doing it all the time here.

 

I was referring to the BS in the article.

 

I am not aware of any OW on LS remaining in a toxic situation just because they are financially taken care of.

Link to post
Share on other sites
jj33

jj33

Posted
Posted

Boho I dont know about your situation but in mine, the W was from a far wealthier family than he was, it was "the package". She wouldnt walk away a pauper...

Link to post
Share on other sites
donnamaybe

donnamaybe

Posted
Posted (edited)
I was referring to the BS in the article.
The article doesn't have to pertain to ONLY BS's.

I am not aware of any OW on LS remaining in a toxic situation just because they are financially taken care of.
Sorry, but is there automatically a "toxic situation" when a man is openly sleeping with more than one woman? If so, I would say every OW is in a "toxic situation." ;)

 

I was merely pointing out that MANY people talk themselves into believing everything is rosy in their world when it clearly is not. NOT just a BS. And yes - some ARE being "financially taken care of" as admitted here by many.

Edited by donnamaybe
Link to post
Share on other sites
jj33

jj33

Posted
Posted

Many? I can only think of one who just resigned and one who gets presents and one poster who was an OW long ago who got loads of stuff but thats only 3 people.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
bohogirl

bohogirl

Posted
  • Author
Posted
The article doesn't have to pertain to ONLY BS's.

Sorry, but is there automatically a "toxic situation" when a man is openly sleeping with more than one woman? If so, I would say every OW is in a "toxic situation." ;)

 

I was merely pointing out that MANY people talk themselves into believing everything is rosy in their world when it clearly is not. NOT just a BS. And yes - some ARE being "financially taken care of" as admitted here by many.

 

Well...an article written by a BS ( or relating her experiences) was posted to provide another view of EMA'S.

 

Every comment here has used the article for context. You have attempted to steer the discussion in another direction and I don't feel like playing.

 

If you wish to start a post to t/j do so. Not here.:(

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
bohogirl

bohogirl

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Boho I dont know about your situation but in mine, the W was from a far wealthier family than he was, it was "the package". She wouldnt walk away a pauper...

 

MM had the well paid job. BS had a family inheritance. She was better off than him in terms of capital assets.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Woggle

Woggle

Posted
Posted

I think that many women would rather be with a powerful alpha male who cheats left and right than with a faithful working class guy. I know a few executives through work who cheat almost openly and barely any of them are divorced.

Link to post
Share on other sites
datura_noir

datura_noir

Posted
Posted
I think that many women would rather be with a powerful alpha male who cheats left and right than with a faithful working class guy. I know a few executives through work who cheat almost openly and barely any of them are divorced.

 

Yep, it happens in those circles. Women, whether they admit it or not, like a man who has the "power".

 

I'm pretty sure in the case of this particular BS, she may be getting some action on the side from some young bod.

 

And who are WE to judge????

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
bohogirl

bohogirl

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I think that many women would rather be with a powerful alpha male who cheats left and right than with a faithful working class guy. I know a few executives through work who cheat almost openly and barely any of them are divorced.

 

 

 

The illusion of fidelity is normally maintained at home until it isn't. A lot of the time the BS has no idea or lacks evidence.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
bohogirl

bohogirl

Posted
  • Author
Posted

 

Yep, it happens in those circles. Women, whether they admit it or not, like a man who has the "power".

 

I'm pretty sure in the case of this particular BS, she may be getting some action on the side from some young bod.

 

And who are WE to judge????

 

LOL. Not judging. I respect her right to choose how she wishes to live her life. I had been making the point in some of my earlier posts that not all BS are blindsided after the initial DDay. Some make the choice to accept sexual infidelity because it suits them. It is not necessarily a sign of weakness or low self esteem but is definitely an informed decision that the BS makes - whether third parties "get it" or not.

Link to post
Share on other sites
jj33

jj33

Posted
Posted
MM had the well paid job. BS had a family inheritance. She was better off than him in terms of capital assets.

 

Id say it could be the same man (losing you could account for his haggard look a few months ago) but they are so many that are clones... And how embarrassing for them, having to work for a living... :rolleyes:

Link to post
Share on other sites
fooled once

fooled once

Posted
Posted

so why is the serial cheater staying? :confused: Is it because he likes the lifestyle with the wife and the ability to have someone else on the side? So he is choosing the lifestyle (wife) vs the other woman; and I guess the other women in his life know he is never leaving his wife and hopefully, the other women are in it just for the sex since the serial cheater doesn't plan to leave or at least seem like he is going to leave.

 

Why is the status of the marriage left up to the BS to control? Doesn't he have a voice?

 

'eh, I may also do the same if I was a certain age, had been pampered my whole life and had someone to go to company holiday parties or social situations with.

Link to post
Share on other sites
herenow

herenow

Posted
Posted

I don't see any problem with an adult choosing a lifestyle based on knowing the facts. I do have a problem with MM/MW and or OW/OM making decisions for a BS without giving said BS the opportunity to choose for themselves based on reality.

 

If a BW knows her H is a serial cheater and stays married to him, that is her choice. The OW knows that the man is married and makes a choice based on that fact, why not give the BW the same choice?

Link to post
Share on other sites
 Share
Followers 4
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...