KENJ03 Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 I AM NEW TO THIS AND I AM HOPING THAT I WILL GET WHAT I "NEED" FROM ASKING ADVICE FROM STRANGERS BUT I NEED AN HONEST OPINION. OK....THIS IS MY PROBLEM: FIRST OF ALL I AM MARRIED AND HAVE BEEN FOR APX 1 YEAR. I HAVE TWO CHILDREN. I LOVE MY HUSBAND BUT I FEEL I AM STILL INLOVE WITH MY "FIRST LOVE". IT HAS BEEN ALMOST 4 YEARS SINCE WE WERE TOGTHER BUT I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT HIM EVERY DAY SINCE. I FEEL LIKE I AM IN A SITUATION WHERE I KNOW I AM NOT GIVING EVERY THING I CAN IN MY MARIAGE BECAUSE OF THIS. I HAVE TO KNOW IF MY EX STILL LOVES ME! ONE PART OF ME HOPES THAT HE LOOKS AT ME AND SAYS "ARE YOU CRAZY! GET OVER IT".....SO THEN I WOULD FEEL LIKE I COULD LET AL OF IT GO. AND THE OTHER PART OF ME HOPES THAT THE RELATIONSHIP WE WONCE HAD WAS THE BEST THING THAT HE HAS EVER EXPERIENCED AND HE WOULD FEEL THE SAME WAY I DO. I JUST HAVE TO KNOW. HE DRIVES ME CRAZY!!! I DREAM ABOUT HIM EVERY NIGHT!!! EVERY NIGHT!!! I THINK ABOUT HIM ALL THE TIME!! OUR PATHS CROSS ALLL THE TIME. IT IS MAKING ME INSANE!!! WHAT DO I DO??? I WANT TO BE HONEST WITH MY HUSBAND AND TELL HIM THAT I HAVE TO DO THIS...THAT I HAVE TO TALK TO HIM AGAIN(HE KNOWS NONTHING ABOUT ANY OF THIS) BUT THEN ON THE OTHER HAND I FEEL THAT HE WOULD GO CRAZY AND LEAVE ME ON THE SPOT IF I WAS HONEST. I HATE TO GO BEHIND HIS BACK....... OHHHHH PLEASE HELP ME OUT THERE!! Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 Don't ever write in all capital letters, it's extremely difficult to read and immediately makes the reader think less of you. On a friendlier note, have you seen a counselor? I'm sure they can help you forget about the ex and put more into the relationship you committed yourself to. Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 Is your first love the parent of one or both of your children? Link to post Share on other sites
Author KENJ03 Posted February 23, 2004 Author Share Posted February 23, 2004 no....... while i was dating my ex i met my current husband and got pregnant......we then split up because he wasnt ready to be a father.........i then went back to my ex for a while untill we split for good......after my husband "grew up" we then got back togther and got married Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 Have you forgiven your husband for the fact that he wasn't there for you when you got pregnant? If there is any underlying resentment this could well be the source of your problem. Please think carefully before you say anything to your ex. This feeling of being between the two men isn't the first time you've felt like this is it? If I read you right you have left the ex for your husband twice. How fair is it to ask him to put his heart on the line again? Is it likely you will be able to stay with him this time when you couldn't the other times? It seems to me this man will not make you happy and your current attraction is due either to difficulties in your marriage (an affair or resumed relationship with your ex is just replacing one set of problems with another) or unresolved problems from the linked past with these men (talking to a friend or counsellor will help). You owe it to yourself and your kids to get a better understanding of the causal factors behind your emotions before you act. They need a happy mum Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 You're wanting to recreate an emotional experience of over 4 years ago. This guy might not be interested in you anymore, or if you did cross paths with him again, you might not find him as attractive as your nostalgic fantasies. You can't go back to the past--even if you did get a divorce, you still have two children. You also seem to be forgetting the reasons you broke up with this ex. If you want to save your marriage, you do need to have counseling. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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