Am I Overeacting?

[TheGrimSweeper]

Hey So my girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year and a half, aside from a period where we split up for two months. Anyway ever since then I have had some trust issues but I don't show them as I don't want to look insecure / needy.

 

Anyway I just graduated this year and shes entering her 3rd year of University. She was switching apartments at the beginning of the month and moved in with me for 4 days and everything was great we had lots of fun together.

 

Everything been good until she started up school again, though she has been really busy she just seems distant when I talk to her. Gives one or two word responses, doesn't message me nearly as much as she did in the summer. We haven't hungout as much in person but when we have its still been great, we spent the whole afternoon together sunday and it was a lot of fun.

 

But now its back to her just seeing totally uninterested in talking to me. I realize shes busy so I'm giving her space (I Haven't said anything to her at all today and she hasn't said anything to me). I'm kind of waiting to see what she says as recently over the past week it feels like I've been the one putting all the effort into it. I called her out a little bit (nothing major wasn't a fight) and she said she just meeting up with all her friends she hasn't seen over the summer, which I completely understand. But at the same time she really hasn't been talking to me like I'm her boyfriend, aside from in person.

 

Am I worrying too much about this?

Edited September 14, 2010 by TheGrimSweeper

[Don Ho]

I think you need to back way, way off. Let her contact you. Do not contact her. If she asks why just tell her you've been busy. Sounds to me like she's gearing up to dump you. DO NOT ask and DO NOT chase.

 

Bro, if it's over there's NOTHING you can do about it. Pushing and chasing her will only push her away ... and give her an excuse to dump you. Your ONLY shot is to cut contact, see if she thinks about it, misses you and changes her behavior towards you. I know this sounds counter-intuitive and it's uncomfortable to do, but trust me on this one.

[Viking]

I think you need to back way, way off. Let her contact you. Do not contact her. If she asks why just tell her you've been busy. Sounds to me like she's gearing up to dump you. DO NOT ask and DO NOT chase.

 

Bro, if it's over there's NOTHING you can do about it. Pushing and chasing her will only push her away ... and give her an excuse to dump you. Your ONLY shot is to cut contact, see if she thinks about it, misses you and changes her behavior towards you. I know this sounds counter-intuitive and it's uncomfortable to do, but trust me on this one.

 

This is an interesting situation because I was in this one mid July. I had been dating my gf for about ten months (not as long I know) and I felt like she was drifting away, finding things to busy herself with instead of being with me and in general not treating me like a bf, but rather a friend who she was closer to, but not much more. We even stopped having sex because it was too hot outside and she didn't want to get all sweaty.

 

Well, not too shortly after, she broke up with me. She came over after work one night and I was making dinner for us and I turn around to see her crying. I asked her what was up, and she didn't want to talk, but I kinda forced it out of her for both of our benefits. As she was leaving, I told her to think about it (which, to my surprise, she actually did) and I figured we were done. I didn't call her, didn't text her, didn't contact her at all. I waited for her to make the move to contact me, which she did while I was at a bar with another girl. She had gotten back into town from a 2 week trip out east and so I didn't even have to think about her.

 

The no contact part of what I did helped put it into perspective for me. It enabled me to move on if I chose and it helped my gf decide that she actually did want me and that she missed me, not just someone with blood circulating through their veins to hang out with.

 

Thing is, you force someone to want you. They have to realize on their own what it is that they truly want and then make their move. My gf and I ended up getting back together and just celebrated our 1 year today. Not all situations end poorly. Think optimistically and do something every day to better yourself, because even if something happens and it doesn't end well, you're still a better person and a better catch the next go around.

 

And no, you're not overreacting. When your SO stops treating you like a bf/gf, it is troubling and you begin to wonder if you're being too clingy. I was told I was by my gf before we broke up and it confused the hell out of me, especially since I had just dropped her off at her house after picking her up from a bike ride where her tire popped. All I wanted was a hug and a kiss before I went to work. I didn't think that was too much. Now it is completely reversed. I hope it works out for you. Hang in there, the stress is sometimes overwhelming if you're headed where I was. Go to the gym, ride a bike, walk your dog/friend's dog, get a new hobby, go run. Something to get endorphins pumping through your body and this situation off your mind. Exercise really does work!

Edited September 14, 2010 by Viking

[TheGrimSweeper]

Thanks for the advice I'm going to back off a lot.

 

She told me over the phone last night she had a really busy day so I just messaged her saying "hey babe I hope your days going well."

 

So will see what her response is. If its like it was yesterday I won't say anything after until she does.

 

She does sometime get like this when shes really stressed and or in a bad mood, and when she does I usually just stop replying to her messages and wait till she talks to me when shes not in a bad mood. So will see what happens, I'm going to give it until after the weekend. If its still like this I'll do myself a favor and end it before she does.

[BHR]

Dude,

listen to these guys in this one. I just ruined a relationship

with a wonderfull girl by being a "fixer" as in i kept wanting to

know what was wrong??? I pushed her away. If i had left her

alone there is a very strong possiblity we'd still be together. It

hurts like a MOFO to get dumped/cutoff so do yourself a favor and

back WAY off.

[Don Ho]

Thanks for the advice I'm going to back off a lot. She told me over the phone last night she had a really busy day so I just messaged her saying "hey babe I hope your days going well."

Bro, what are you doing sending a text like that? You sound like a girl. You should have not texted anything. Do you always step on your own dick? Good plan. Do not text, call or pick up this weekend if she contacts. Back off Bro.