problem with girlfreind

[blackhammer44]

I ve been going out with this girl for over two years, we were each

others first

> in everything we did...i am 20 and she is 18, we loved each other a

real lot

> the whole time...but i did not treat her 100% good the whole time

like i should

> have...and all of that built up inside her and she needed time alone

...and then

> we had a major fight...and i said things i should have held

back...but afterwards

> she saw how sad i was and how i was so upset with my self...about a

week past...we

> talked on the phone...i cried to her over the phone, and really

showed a side

> that she has never seen before...and she said i knew this had to

happen for you

> change...and she was right...she knows that i changed, and i will

never hurt

> her again, because i know how it feels, she knows i love her alot

more now..and

> everything will change if we get back together...she said I know but

its too

> late right now, i still need time alone...and she says she still

loves me as

> a person but does not want a boyfriend right now.and she does not know if she will change her mind in the furture, and she also said that you are hanging on to nothing right ..do you think she

will think

> of all the GOOD TIMES we DID have together...and how i did change at

the end

> and she will want to give it another shot...and what does i still

love you as

> a person mean...I know she cannot love me as boyfriend right now

because she

> does not want one...but she still have love for me...and i made a

huge change

> at the end which she needs, and wants, but it was to late...and do

you think

> that the change was to late, or atleast i did change and she knows i

did...what

> do you think she sill do...

[dyermaker]

I ve been going out with this girl for over two years, we were each others first in everything we did...i am 20 and she is 18, we loved each other a real lot the whole time...but i did not treat her 100% good the whole time like i should have...and all of that built up inside her and she needed time alone ...and then we had a major fight...and i said things i should have held back...but afterwards she saw how sad i was and how i was so upset with my self...about a week past...we talked on the phone...i cried to her over the phone, and really showed a side that she has never seen before...and she said i knew this had to happen for you change...and she was right...she knows that i changed, and i will never hurt her again, because i know how it feels, she knows i love her alot more now..and everything will change if we get back together...she said I know but its too late right now, i still need time alone...and she says she still loves me as a person but does not want a boyfriend right now.and she does not know if she will change her mind in the furture, and she also said that you are hanging on to nothing right ..do you think she will think of all the GOOD TIMES we DID have together...and how i did change at the end and she will want to give it another shot...and what does i still love you as a person mean...I know she cannot love me as boyfriend right now because she does not want one...but she still have love for me...and i made a huge change at the end which she needs, and wants, but it was to late...and do you think that the change was to late, or atleast i did change and she knows i did...what do you think she sill do...

 

The chances that you'll read what I'm saying and believe me are twice as good as the chance that she'll come back to you. She's eighteen, she doesn't want a guy to change for her, she wants to change some guys. She was honest with you, if in a dishonest way, she doesn't love you as a boyfriend. She doesn't hate you, she just doesn't want to be romantically involved with you--Read this as EVER. The only reason she suggested that she doesn't know where her heart will go in the future, is because she wants to keep you waiting, it's easier on the friendship.

 

I'm sorry for your loss, but your car on the road of life isn't nearly totalled. You changed yourself, to become more compassionate and less inclined to hurt your partner. This won't be applied to your failed relationship, I'm almost certain, but it can be used in the future. Buddy, just because she's your first doesn't mean she should be your last. Never does a relationship serve to only bring you pain and regret, unless you let it. Instead, you could be using your changed, new, attractive self to find a new girl, one who won't have that dark cloud of your history permanantly etched into her brain.

 

Best of luck, and I hope you believe me on this one.

[Medan]

Let me start by saying that once a woman has made up her mind it is going to be nearly impossible to change it.

 

You feel quilty and bad for the way you made her feel. (I know the feeling and I am sure others do to) But I bet if you were to really think back on it your not remembering that she was not perfect either and I would be willing to bet she had something to do with your fights) What I am trying to say is do not beat yourself up. It will not do you any good.

 

You want to change for the better, that is great! You have expressed how you feel to her, that is great. Now you need to go on living your life and be happy. If for some reason she decides she wants you back it is going to because you have attracted her back, not because you called her up begging her back. She needs to fall in love with you again. At best your at ground zero with her.

 

Good Luck

[dreamyluv7]

My best advice would be to try to cope and move on. She sounds like she has (sadly to say this) had enough.

 

On a positive note, you can see this as a learning experience that will help you in the future! Sure, things may have not worked out how you wished, but you don't have to give up that fact that you will meet a new person and you will KNOW how to do it right!

 

Only time will tell.