Why does it feel like men can handle a breakup so much easier then us women?

[audrey_1]

Nearly all relationships which end have a tipping point, a point where positive and negative meet. After that tipping point, if the energy dynamic in the relationship goes to the negative side, the person least invested in the process during that period will overwhelmingly fare better when the ultimate end arrives, if that is the conclusion. If a marriage is in trouble and the spouses agree to MC, watch for the one who does the least work and displays the least emotion within that process. That's your winner.

 

Generally, anyone who *can* care that little during the tipover-negative phase has the capacity and propensity to care little always, in all circumstances. It's a psychological setpoint; it's a method of thinking and feeling. It doesn't just happen circumstantially.

 

In the OP's case, it appears that the man is that person.

 

Another dynamic, perhaps not applicable to the OP's situation, is where one party lacks the ability to, or chooses to not 'feel' the relationship, but rather 'thinks' the relationship, much like one thinks their way through a puzzle or problem/challenge. Each aspect of the relationship is a logical process, and certain rules are followed to achieve the desired result. 1 + 1=2. If I do/say this, then that will result. No feelings are involved. Some people operate like this, even though their outward expressions mimic feelings. It's a social skill learned over time. That's another possible explanation of one person handling the breakup easier than another. To them, it's just the next logical step.

 

This was very helpful.

[WTRanger]

I really don't think gender has anything to do with break-ups. Each side has ups and downs. It's really up to the person how hard they take it. Some people really focus on things, thus they take it really hard. Others, they run away from problems, therefore seeming like nothing bothers them. Some people bottle emotions, some pour them out.

 

Gender has nothing to do with this. Both guys and girls can go to a bar and equally get meaningless sex just as easily. Every bar has the player as well as the bar skank. You just need to whiff your way down the ladder of people to find them.

[jeff2321]

]

When I accused my ex of being an emotional robot after our breakup, he admitted to me, "Just because I appear one way, it doesn't mean it's how I really feel."

 

Even after talking to him the other night after a month of NC, he sounded really down and sad. I'm not saying he's been secretly crying in his room, but for the most part, men don't show or will admit they're hurting.

 

I guess I'm just a sensitive guy then. I cried my ass off when my ex left me. I even called her one last time and was crying on the phone trying to get her back like a god damn pussy because the pain hurt so bad. Once I figured out that we were done I went NC and haven't look back -- I'm sure she's out getting banged by 15 other guys right as I write this sad pathetic post.

 

All men don't bottle up the emotions like you claim they do. I was a wreck and I let my ex see that I was a wreck and that her leaving really hurt me. Even though she saw how much it hurt me, she still left anyway. Once a woman is done, she is done. It's over and there is nothing you can say to fix it.

 

Feeling like complete dog**** today,

 

 

Jeff

 

P.S. - I need to go skydiving and throw myself out of a plane because I DONT CARE IF I DIE RIGHT NOW... perhaps the best time to sky dive is when you're in the state that I'm in right now.

Edited October 15, 2010 by jeff2321
Can't type right now worth a ****

[fabio10]

In my opinion it is not a gender thing nor as simple as a the dumper / dumpee divide. There are a number of underlying factors such as:

 

* Personality

* Age

* One's Ethos

* Family upbringing

* Wealth

* Ambition

* Life Goals

* Friends

* Life Experiance/ Past relationships

* Sex Drive

* Ability to deal with change

 

I think these factors bear a hugh affect on how one deals with a break up, people have been saying ohhh she/him go can out gets laid thats her/him over me no it is not, ohhh she/him is great looking they'l forget me in a heartbeat no they will not, not to blow my own horn but I aint a bad looking guy and get plenty of female attention has it aided in my recovery NO.... Has NO Contact YES !