I'm sick & tired of this! (Talking to girls)

[Tkay]

Hi again. I think I posted this somewhere before, but the tips i got previous time just didnt really help out.

 

At the moment of writing I am completely pissed at myself.

Why you ask?

 

I just came back from a carnaval party. I was dressed up as a girl. (Carnaval is something like drink&makeout in this area )

 

Ok .. I met my ex-girly there.. this is somewhat what our convo was like

hey u look cool.. yada.. how does it feel to be a girl .. (me replies summit with it sux this skirt is cold as hell) or summit. silence, so i turned around and talked a bit to a mate of me.

after a while she came up to me (the song "like a virgin" was playin) and she asked something like do u feel like a virgin now ?

ok.. a while later i asked her if she knew if a certain mate would be comin.. and after some more time i asked her if a certain girl who just had her birthday was there...

This was somewhat our convo... like 10 things we said eachother in 1 night. 4 hours or somethin

 

Ok... anyway, a friend of her (who didnt know that we had a relation before) walked by.. she looked at me and touched my tits and moved on. when she came back i said hands off or ill touch yours then she poked her finger in my stomach (to feel if i had muscles of summit. dunno)

anyway. i was standing somewhere with a mate and they were dancing with 3 people (holding eachothers arms) and she waved and asked me to join so i did.

when she had to go she gave her friends(female friends) a kiss, and also me (not any of my mates)

As u can read. I didnt say 1 thing to her.

 

So; to round it up. I have no idea what to say to girls. Talked for an hour with a mate about it but he was clueless too. People tell me to act like they are my best friend or something, but that just doesnt work, it wouldnt make sense. Im just not much of a talker, not even to my mates. I'd like to be funny or something, always have something to say up my sleeve, but i dont.

I'm jealous at these "players" who always know what to say. I want that!

I also think that my previous girl broke up for that reason, that i just didnt interest her anymore. At first she was very interested, because I'm such a 'dancer' at partys (I think my charisma at partys is rather good) but when it comes to talking.. |blank|

 

I really need help, I've been messing with this problem for ages now. At the moment I'm actually pissed at myself. It's not that i don't have the guts to say something, i just dont know what.

 

I'm not talking about a direct serious relation, talking "serious" at a party is rather strange. So no deep questions about her.

 

Thanks in advance.

T-kay.

[dyermaker]

That was hard for me to read, even though it may help you get your ideas out if you write in such a manner, try to go back when your done and replace the fake words with the real words.

 

It's difficult to pick up chicks dressed like a girl, but I'm sure it's been done before. Initially, it may be a benefit that you're not much of a talker. No girl likes a guy who just blabs on about himself.

 

+ Begin with a salutation, something along the lines of, "Hi"

+ Comment on the setting. "So, this party is ____"

+ Look/Listen for an avenue of interrogation (hobbies of hers, interests of hers, say she was dressed as a rabbit--ask, 'do you breed rabbits?'--you're not trying to solicit a yes, you're trying to induce conversation. The rabbit line may be dumb, but you get what I'm saying. Try to get her to talk about herself, and try to pretend like you could give a flying f#&%.)

+ Tell her you're interested in seeing her again

+ If signs are good, ask for number

+ (Important) Make haste. If you've got nothing to say, you might as well get going. Get some food, some beer, whatever. Just get lost and leave her thinking about you.

 

buena suerte.

[dreamyluv7]

Your message was a bit confusing, but I made of it, is that you may be trying to hard to anaylze us.

 

Let me explain:

Personally, if I guy tries to pick me up on the first he meets me it's a huge turnoff. However, if I guy is cool with just taking some time to chill and get to know me as a friend I find that appealing.

 

When you approach a girl, how do you tend to start off a conversation?

And how are you trying to pick them up?

 

Sorry that I couldn't help too much- I confused about the message.

[Tkay]

Hmm I guess I was too drunk when writing the message?

 

Here's a translation

 

Hi again. I think I posted this somewhere before, but the tips i got previous time just didnt really help out.

 

At the moment of writing I am completely pissed at myself.

Why you ask?

 

I just came back from a dress-up party. I was dressed up like a girl. (Carnaval in this area is something like a beer&make out time )

 

So:

I met my ex girlfriend there. We had a little chit-chat, you know, Smalltalk. It looked a bit like this:

I walked up to her and she recognized me in some strange way (although i was wearing a wig and sunglasses) and she said hahah u look cool!

So we start talking abit... she asked how does it feel to be a girl for a change So I reply saying it's a horror, argh, these high heels are killing me, and my make-up is all screwed up, and this mini-skirt is cold as hell!

Then I made a remark about how she looked (as a bunny)

Then came the first silence, so i turned around and started talking to a friend.

When the DJ was playing the song from madonna: Like a virgin, she came up to me and asked me "You probably feel like a virgin at the moment hehe" I just laughed a bit and replied yes. Again, silence.

After a while i asked her if she had any idea if a certain friend of me was coming tonight, and I asked her if a girl she knows was there. (Both answers were "no")

So. That was our conversation. 10 Lines in 4 hours

 

 

Whenever a girl she knows walked by she squeezed my tits and make a remark about it. When she walked by for the 2d time she squeezed my tits again, and started touching my stomach, I'm not sure why, I think she was wondering if I had muscles or something.

A while later that group of girls (3 girls or something) started dancing, holding eachothers arms and going from left to right, and that certain squeezing-tit girl invited me to join, so I did.

When she had to go home she gave a kiss to her female friends, and she gave me a kiss (not my mate who was standing next to me)

So: As u can see: I didn't say 1 word to this girl!

 

So; to round it up. I have no idea what to say to girls. Talked for an hour about it with a mate but he was clueless too. People tell me to act like they are my best friend or something, but that just doesnt work. Im just not much of a talker, not even to my mates. I'd like to be funny or something, always have something to say up my sleeve, but i dont.

I'm jealous at these "players" who always know what to say. I want that!

 

I also think that my previous girl broke up for that reason. She met me at a party where I'm rather outgoing, having fun, dancing, etc. But i don't know what to say!

 

I really need help, I've been having this problem for ages now. At the moment I'm actually pissed at myself. It's not that i don't have the guts to say something, i just dont know what.

 

I'm not talking about a serious relation, talking "serious" at a party is rather strange. So no deep questions about her.

 

Thanks in advance.

T-kay.

 

 

I hope this version is more understandable

 

@dyermaker

thx for the tips. They actually make sense

 

@dreamyluv7

I'd like to start conversations, but most of the time I dont know what to say, so actually most of the time the other person starts talking to me. Ofcourse when I'm interested in a girl, and I get a "vibe", I want get a hold of her number or something.

 

 

By The Way: I think the ex-girlfriend lost interest in me because I never know what to say. I probably could have 'fixed' it tonight, but again, I didn't know what to say. How the hell could I be dating a girl, If I never have anything to tell her! She's coming to my birthday party friday, I'm going to prepare myself this time.

[Arabess]

Try using Dyer's 'Steps of Conversation'...I think they would work for anyone. It's not so much WHAT you say....as HOW you say it. Once you've made a cool salutation....she'll have to say the next thing....and you can go from there.

 

cool salutation = If beer is involved, you can get by with saying anything! When you see her Friday, look down at your chest and say "I left my bigger boobs at home tonight." Then just look into her eyes and smile....................

[Tkay]

Originally posted by Arabess

Try using Dyer's 'Steps of Conversation'...I think they would work for anyone. It's not so much WHAT you say....as HOW you say it. Once you've made a cool salutation....she'll have to say the next thing....and you can go from there.

 

cool salutation = If beer is involved, you can get by with saying anything! When you see her Friday, look down at your chest and say "I left my bigger boobs at home tonight." Then just look into her eyes and smile....................

 

nice line. the boob one. i wish i could think of that

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by Arabess

It's not so much WHAT you say....as HOW you say it.

[Tkay]

Originally posted by dyermaker

I know it doesnt matter what I say.. but I have to say SOMETHING right

 

Saying OOGA OOGA BOOGA won't help much. I don't have a problem with saying somethign stupid, I just need to think of it. I always scan my environement to make a remark but most of the time cant find anything

[Joseph123]

I have had the same problem in being able to start what I am hoping will be an intelligent conversation with a girl. I find myself distracted by her facial features, especially if she is wearing lipstick or eye shadow, etc.. Any make-up tends to draw my eyes to it and, of course, I do admit that I am sexually attracted to perfume, make-up and obvious signs of femininity. It is difficult to keep my mind of what I am saying when I drawn into wanting to take the girl into my arms and kiss her or generate some other activity which I hope will result in seduction. I am, afterall, a macho-pig with a strong libido. In any case, I can identify with the majority of men who - I have met personally - that have expressed a problem in being able to treat attractive girls as "simply friends" without having a recurring fantasy of seeking more intimacy. The other problem is that the girls that I have met tend to allow the conversation to drift into the direction of flirting and that adds to the intensity of needing something physical. Let's face it - we are all beasts of the wild who have powerful urges to procreate imbedded within out psyche. It is difficult to forget for any length of time that we are simply male and female species without bringing forth our more animalistic desires. I find this to be equally true for the girls as well. They too, have that 'clock' running where it is imperative that they engage in sex in order to feel that they are fulfilling their own role in this life-time. We feel a subconscious "rush" that we must reproduce our genes or we will be left out of the future. We must produce a "heir", of some form whether it be another girl or a boy - our genes must continue on with the next generation in order for us to feel that we have attained some degree of immortality. So...whenever we are presented with the "opportunity" to open a dialog with a person of the opposite sex it is inevitable that we will size-up the situation in the sense of whether this person, before us, should be responsible for our giving birth. I realize this is frank - and like I said - I am a macho-pig but, for me, at least, I can say in all honesty that sex plays a huge role in my life and that just happens to be focused the strongest when I am around girls. The truth might seem offensive to some but, that is the way it is and I will believe that until someone can convince me that we are not on the hunt constantly. Joseph123

[Tkay]

Wise Words Joseph, altough they don't have much to do with my situation

If I really was such a "beast" I would have kissed her on our first date. But we didnt kiss, even after our 3th real date together (2 weeks?).

It went like this

1st date: kiss on cheek

2d date: kiss on lips

3d date: kiss on lips for 3 seconds.. she opens her mouth, puts out her tongue,but before i could react (do same as her) she withdrew

 

Tasting the sweet sin upon my lips just made me crave for more. I really wanted to kiss her, and I hate myself for being such a pussy. For some strange reason I hope that I can kiss her friday.

[Tkay]

argh, again I found myself in a situation which I regret

ran into my ex and she said something like "hi lost sheep" "where's your shepperd"

and i was like

hm?hi..bye

 

I'm rather sure of it that if I could make her smile I'd still be dating her. I don't want to be the boring person that I am. I want to be fun to hang out with, spontaneous, funny,.....

[amerikajin]

Tkay,

 

My guess is that this is one of those situations in which a girl "kinda" likes you. I was with a girl like this a few months back. The thing is, you might score a date with her once in a long while but she'll be forever non-committal. She's playing you and probably has a few other dudes on her short list.

 

I bet she'd gravitate to you more if she thought you had other girls on your radar. Kitty kats kompete.

 

Trust me, you need to get more active with other women. Play the numbers game. In my case, for example, I have a date for tomorrow night, a date for Tuesday night, a date for Wednesday night, and I could have had a date for Thursday, but I decided I needed to hook up with one of my buds for a few beers instead. The other two chicks I've got on my radar can wait til next week.

 

I'm telling you, this approach is far more effective. You feel more comfortable dating, and the girls you date can sense that you don't need them, so instead of you chasing them, they end up chasing you.

[Tkay]

Originally posted by amerikajin

Tkay,

 

My guess is that this is one of those situations in which a girl "kinda" likes you. I was with a girl like this a few months back. The thing is, you might score a date with her once in a long while but she'll be forever non-committal. She's playing you and probably has a few other dudes on her short list.

 

I bet she'd gravitate to you more if she thought you had other girls on your radar. Kitty kats kompete.

 

Trust me, you need to get more active with other women. Play the numbers game. In my case, for example, I have a date for tomorrow night, a date for Tuesday night, a date for Wednesday night, and I could have had a date for Thursday, but I decided I needed to hook up with one of my buds for a few beers instead. The other two chicks I've got on my radar can wait til next week.

 

I'm telling you, this approach is far more effective. You feel more comfortable dating, and the girls you date can sense that you don't need them, so instead of you chasing them, they end up chasing you.

 

I'm doing what you told me, however really dating isn't in my league yet. Just added 2 girls who I think like me on MSN. (this is actually playing it by the numbers for me the real dating is a couple of miles away) I hope this will help.

Probably going to the cinema with a few mates + my ex tonight. Just as friends though(well.. friends who kiss actually )