Women with low incomes-dealbreaker for all men?

[mclovin]

Insecurity or Unpleasant Reality?

 

I'm a 31 year-old divorced female that holds a Bachelor Degree & lives on her own (one bedroom cheap-ish apartment).

 

Although I live independently, my job is in Social Services (which I absolutley love & suits me well), however, my salary is low (between 29,000-32,000).

 

Currently, I'm in a relationship with a great man. However, I am very embarassed about how much I make. I feel most men want a woman who makes a decent to high salary. Mine is particularly low. Each month I can just barely get by.

 

I'm just worried my income will forever make whoever I'm in a relationship with not want to marry me. I feel like I'm in the "looser with no money" category.

 

I'm a little scared I will never get re-married or have any kind of serious commitment in a relationship because men view low-salary women as loosers with no future.

 

Needless to say, my last boyfriend (who made six figures) confessed my poor income was the main source to no longer continue a relationship.

 

Men, what do you think about this?

[GooseChaser]

Insecurity or Unpleasant Reality?

 

I'm a 31 year-old divorced female that holds a Bachelor Degree & lives on her own (one bedroom cheap-ish apartment).

 

Although I live independently, my job is in Social Services (which I absolutley love & suits me well), however, my salary is low (between 29,000-32,000).

 

Currently, I'm in a relationship with a great man. However, I am very embarassed about how much I make. I feel most men want a woman who makes a decent to high salary. Mine is particularly low. Each month I can just barely get by.

 

I'm just worried my income will forever make whoever I'm in a relationship with not want to marry me. I feel like I'm in the "looser with no money" category.

 

I'm a little scared I will never get re-married or have any kind of serious commitment in a relationship because men view low-salary women as loosers with no future.

 

Needless to say, my last boyfriend (who made six figures) confessed my poor income was the main source to no longer continue a relationship.

 

Men, what do you think about this?

No, there are men who would consider a woman who didn't make too much money. Think of all of the stay-at-home housewives! Some women don't work at all! There are men out there who would appreciate any extra income you could bring in, though their income would be the main source of cash.

[USMCHokie]

A woman's income is a complete non-issue for me. As long as she's doing what she wants to do with her life, then she can make whatever she makes.

[mclovin]

Thanks Goose.

 

I know about the stay at home moms...but most of them were married made a great salary. Lol!

 

Guess I just feel a little down in the dumps about all this stuff.

[USMCHokie]

Think of all of the stay-at-home housewives! Some women don't work at all!

 

I would strongly disagree that stay-at-home wives don't work. One of my best friend's wife stays at home to take care of the house and kids, and the time and effort she contributes more than makes up for her lack of income. It's definitely a full-time job in its own right.

 

Of course there are deadbeat housewives as well...I'd avoid them like the plague...

[GooseChaser]

I would strongly disagree that stay-at-home wives don't work. One of my best friend's wife stays at home to take care of the house and kids, and the time and effort she contributes more than makes up for her lack of income. It's definitely a full-time job in its own right.

 

Of course there are deadbeat housewives as well...I'd avoid them like the plague...

No, I know that they help around the house and with children and things, but I mean many of them don't bring in hard income. I know they do contribute their love, time, and energy to make things work more smoothly for the family, though, and that is important.

[GooseChaser]

In some cases, a man's salary is all that is needed for a family to thrive. Don't stress too much, you'll find someone nice someday who thinks the amount of money you earn is just fine.

[denise_xo]

Insecurity or Unpleasant Reality?

 

I'm a 31 year-old divorced female that holds a Bachelor Degree & lives on her own (one bedroom cheap-ish apartment).

 

Although I live independently, my job is in Social Services (which I absolutley love & suits me well), however, my salary is low (between 29,000-32,000).

 

Currently, I'm in a relationship with a great man. However, I am very embarassed about how much I make. I feel most men want a woman who makes a decent to high salary. Mine is particularly low. Each month I can just barely get by.

 

I'm just worried my income will forever make whoever I'm in a relationship with not want to marry me. I feel like I'm in the "looser with no money" category.

 

I'm a little scared I will never get re-married or have any kind of serious commitment in a relationship because men view low-salary women as loosers with no future.

 

Needless to say, my last boyfriend (who made six figures) confessed my poor income was the main source to no longer continue a relationship.

 

Men, what do you think about this?

 

My experience has been the opposite - man hesitant because he makes less than me. My guess is you have all kinds of individual preferences out there and hence also plenty of men who would be very comfortable with your income level.

[USMCHokie]

No, I know that they help around the house and with children and things, but I mean many of them don't bring in hard income. I know they do contribute their love, time, and energy to make things work more smoothly for the family, though, and that is important.

 

Childcare services are VERY expensive. Imagine having to pay someone for everything the housewife does on a day-to-day basis. That's money that would otherwise come out of the household income.

 

And I wouldn't really call it "helping" around the house and...it's actually "working" around the house... After meeting my friend's wife and seeing what she does every day, I have a strong respect for what she does for her family.

[GooseChaser]

Childcare services are VERY expensive. Imagine having to pay someone for everything the housewife does on a day-to-day basis. That's money that would otherwise come out of the household income.

 

And I wouldn't really call it "helping" around the house and...it's actually "working" around the house... After meeting my friend's wife and seeing what she does every day, I have a strong respect for what she does for her family.

It's not a job she's hired to do, though, she does that because she loves her family and wants to make them happy, even though she gets no income for doing it directly. She does support her husband by doing that, allowing him to focus on his paid job, and you're also right that her work around the house helps the family save money on housekeeping and child care. They do work very hard. Good stuff.

[Feelin Frisky]

... Needless to say, my last boyfriend (who made six figures) confessed my poor income was the main source to no longer continue a relationship.

 

Men, what do you think about this?

 

I hope you're not taking too much from that particular experience. That sounds rather superficial and cold of a guy to do that--especially one who's got it going on financially.

[Star Gazer]

Childcare services are VERY expensive. Imagine having to pay someone for everything the housewife does on a day-to-day basis. That's money that would otherwise come out of the household income.

 

And I wouldn't really call it "helping" around the house and...it's actually "working" around the house... After meeting my friend's wife and seeing what she does every day, I have a strong respect for what she does for her family.

 

I love the way your mind works...

[lilbunny]

The only time income has ever been an issue in any R I have ever had was when I earned a lot more than the man. It didn't matter in the slightest to me, but I suspect it was some sort of silly pride thing!

[USMCHokie]

I love the way your mind works...

 

Right back at ya!

[GooseChaser]

The only time income has ever been an issue in any R I have ever had was when I earned a lot more than the man. It didn't matter in the slightest to me, but I suspect it was some sort of silly pride thing!

A woman shouldn't be ashamed that they make more money than the man. Let them deal with it; I think they can handle it. If not, next! They only lose out if they can't get past that.

[lilbunny]

A woman shouldn't be ashamed that they make more money than the man. Let them deal with it; I think they can handle it. If not, next! They only lose out if they can't get past that.

 

 

I couldn't understand why it was such an issue to him to be honest.

 

I might have understood if I was being flash or putting him in situations where he couldn't afford to do the things I wanted, but it really isn't my style, I'm much happier in the old school local pub than the flashy cocktail bar!

[LoveLace]

I'm in the exact same situation and only a couple years older than you. I barely get by. But I have everything I need and I'm happy with that. The man that judged you for your income was a shallow jerk, IMO. I guess we all have our standards even if they are materialistic. Can't say I've ever had a man put perspective on me based on my salary...if anything I always get respect for what I do because it's in the medical field. But it's not a position that makes very much, unfortunately...I make less than you do. But I have my own place and I think the fact that I hold up responsibility should matter more to someone than what I rake in...if that's not the case then I don't want him anyway.

[jamesum]

Unlike women, men do not have a checklist.

 

Generally, all men want in a woman are beauty and compatible personality. That's it. I think that men are much more romantic in this way. We care much less about external factors such as status and wealth.

 

The only reason a well-off man will not wanna be with a less wealthy woman is because he is afraid that she is in it for his money and one day she is going to take him to the cleaners. Such fear is a valid fear. That is why if you are rich, I personally think it is wiser to marry someone who is equally rich.

[Disillusioned]

Insecurity or Unpleasant Reality?

 

I'm a 31 year-old divorced female that holds a Bachelor Degree & lives on her own (one bedroom cheap-ish apartment).

 

Although I live independently, my job is in Social Services (which I absolutley love & suits me well), however, my salary is low (between 29,000-32,000).

 

Currently, I'm in a relationship with a great man. However, I am very embarassed about how much I make. I feel most men want a woman who makes a decent to high salary. Mine is particularly low. Each month I can just barely get by.

 

I'm just worried my income will forever make whoever I'm in a relationship with not want to marry me. I feel like I'm in the "looser with no money" category.

 

I'm a little scared I will never get re-married or have any kind of serious commitment in a relationship because men view low-salary women as loosers with no future.

 

Needless to say, my last boyfriend (who made six figures) confessed my poor income was the main source to no longer continue a relationship.

 

Men, what do you think about this?

 

Personally, I applaud your honesty.

 

The online singles world is loaded with people who say they make $XX,XXX-XXX,XXX, but I get the impression a lot of them are lying to sound like they're nouveau riche. There ARE a lot of singles who really DO make that much, but they scare off everyone they meet because they're spoiled emotional disaster cases who have no idea how to treat another human being decently.

 

For the record, I make less than $25K a year from my daytime clerical job, but I'd like to be able to afford things like a new roof and wiring for the house I inherited, not to mention vet insurance for my dog and an electric conversion kit for my van. That's why I'm working 2 jobs besides my day job. I'm embarrassed by my daytime job, not by the low pay.

[LoveLace]

Unlike women, men do not have a checklist.

 

Generally, all men want in a woman are beauty and compatible personality. That's it. I think that men are much more romantic in this way. We care much less about external factors such as status and wealth.

 

The only reason a well-off man will not wanna be with a less wealthy woman is because he is afraid that she is in it for his money and one day she is going to take him to the cleaners. Such fear is a valid fear. That is why if you are rich, I personally think it is wiser to marry someone who is equally rich.

 

That makes a lot of sense. He probably had his own pre "pre-nup" that states he can only date women who make at least X amount of dollars. Any less than that and I guess the future of his finances is too threatened for him to risk it. Can't blame him, I guess, there are a lot of gold diggers out there.

[jamesum]

That makes a lot of sense. He probably had his own pre "pre-nup" that states he can only date women who make at least X amount of dollars. Any less than that and I guess the future of his finances is too threatened for him to risk it. Can't blame him, I guess, there are a lot of gold diggers out there.

Next time simply tell him upfront and show him from the beginning that you have no interest in his money.

 

Men fear women who are only interested in their money as much as women fear men who are only interested in their bodies.

[mclovin]

Wow. Thanks for all the responses ppl!

 

Feeling much better after reading all these perspectives from men and women.

 

The new bf doesn't care about my low salary and after talks about it, I'm much more comfortable and confident about this situation.

 

Thanks again ppl.

[Gold Pile]

Income doesn't matter as far as sex goes. But it does matter as far as a LTR goes. Unless you are a knock-out trophy wife. I know....it's cold.

[jamesum]

Wow. Thanks for all the responses ppl!

 

Feeling much better after reading all these perspectives from men and women.

 

The new bf doesn't care about my low salary and after talks about it, I'm much more comfortable and confident about this situation.

 

Thanks again ppl.

If your new BF makes a lot more money, insist on treating him on occasions or pay for yourself when you can afford it. That way he sees that you have dignity and you are not leeching off him.

[lonelyromantic]

Although I live independently, my job is in Social Services (which I absolutley love & suits me well), however, my salary is low (between 29,000-32,000).

 

Holy.... well, I can think of just two things immediately to say to this. I'm new here so I hope you don't mind me commenting.

 

First thing is, what's low to some people is high to others. I live in a small town in a predominantly rural area, and the vast majority of people around here would give their back teeth for a salary like that. I made less than 10k in my last job and thought I was doing well, lol.

 

Second, I would actually find a woman on a high salary more intimidating, and would therefore be more comfortable with someone who earned less - although this is really, for the most part, because I have found that women just aren't interested in a guy if he earns less than they do.