One Chance, Per Woman, Per Lifetime

[IronMaiden]

Going back to a relationship that you have ended is kind of like trying to go back and drink out of a stream that you know you and your partner pooped in. Maybe the stream has cleared out enough to drink out of, but really, really...do you want to??

[Sambo]

Neither of those things will help... because I am just as hot as I was when we met... or hotter haha... and when we broke up he said our sexual chemistry is amazing just not enough to keep us together!

 

Well then I think you should forget about this dude because he's obviously an idiot and I'm sure there are 1000 guys that would appreciate a women like you.

 

Why waste your time, when you could have so many better men.

[Don Ho]

How Do I PM someone, or is my security clearance not high enough? DonHo can you PM me?

 

Stoploss, nope, we cannot PM each other because you have to have over 100 posts. If you want to start a new thread and leave me a link here, I'll pick it up. Or get busy posting! LOL

[LikeCharlotte]

I am going to validate your post. I am a woman so that should count for something.

She WILL NOT forget

Say you do get her back. Do you think she will not forget what broke you two up in the first place? It is now burned into her brain. The "high" of your previous relationship will never be the same. Generally women break up with us (or make it so obvious they want to break up that we are forced to break up with them) and they just never feel the same.

Future Happiness Warning: She will never be as interested as she was. If you can put up with a woman that you do not have all of simply because you just cannot live without her, then go right ahead and try to get back with her. Just do not be surprised if you are always in 2nd position and/or she breaks up with you again because its just "not the same."

 

Nope. I won't forget and if he did the breaking well, his loss. I don't go back for seconds on b******t. If I did it I have no interest in going back. I am not sure about the "not the same" stuff but I know that once I am done crying it out I will never go back. You are damn right it is not the same. I had to suffer.

Do you want to be the last man standing?

Your relationship is over and now she is dating around. Finally, she realizes that you were the man for her after she kisses a number of frogs. Cue the sappy music. Roll the credits. A beautiful Hollywood ending, right?

 

Yes, if you keep it in Hollywood only.

 

This scenario does play out but here is what happens after the movie screen is dark.

 

She does not want to be with you because either she was wrong for you or you lowered her feelings for her via your actions. You break up. She goes out and gets waxed in a number of relationships. You are still pining away for her and she does not want to be alone.

 

Enter Mr. Reliable once again!

 

Make no mistake, in this scenario, you are the best of a bad lot. Guys that accept this end up a decade into their marriage asking her "honey what is wrong," when she is in her 10th bad mood of the week (and it is only Tuesday).

 

She would love to scream "I really cannot believe I ended up with you, is this really my life," but she just sulks.

 

Again, it gets back to being with her without really having her. Once a break up occurs, it occurs for a reason (or many reasons).

Right again. I don't do "default" mate but lots of women do and mark my words when the next good thing comes along you are toast.

 

Can there be a situation where the woman was really in love with a guy that had a bad habit that he cleaned up and they got back together once he changed? Yes, that does happen. The woman was interested all the way through and was waiting for the man to change.

Yes that can happen but waiting is ridiculous. You want me or you don't. You are good for me or you are not. If it wasn't important to him when it was an issue why should I care that it has "changed". No second chances with me. I move on. That is it. Harsh? Maybe. I could not care less.

 

 

Remember guys, you get one chance per woman, per lifetime.

100% true if you were/are with LikeCharlotte. I don't go back. Never have. Never will. Listen to him. The man has a decent point.

[flow15]

Flow, I know you want "the answer" on how to get your Ex back, but as I explained in your other thread, you need to work on YOU or it's not going to work, no matter what "strategy" you use. "The answer" for you is to go fix yourself. AFTER that point, in 6-9 months, if you're even still interested in your EX then you can try to reconcile. Before that it's just useless and you're only going to prolong your anguish.

 

Yes I understand that, and I'm not going to use these strategies now. I am just curious to know what strategies you used as you said it worked, and I want to know what it is you did. I am not saying I am going to use them right now or if I ever am, but I would just like to know what it is you did.

[Don Ho]

It would be a two page post which I think would give others that are in your position false hope and a reason to keep hanging on and continuing their anguish. That wouldn't be very responsible of me. Pass.

[Jeff M Stevens]

DON HO

You make GREAT points to everyone in with your responses. I would like to add to what you have said but I can't. You are right on the money!

FLOW 15

I know it is a struggle for you now and I as stated before, I'm not an expert in giving women advice but I hope you can move on and find some happiness with someone that deserves you. Doesn't sound like your last guy appreciated you!

 

FRUIT PUNCH

Maybe we need to use the NC rule for these forums. LOL!!!

 

DURKADURKA

That's a great point. Why would someone go back with someone that is needy and shaken?

 

STOPLOSS

We teach guys to bottom line it. There can be those RARE instances where the woman was in love and through circumstances they drifted apart but most of the time, the guy lowered the woman's interest level or chose the wrong woman to begin with. All guys do is rationalize a woman breaking up with them and then rationalize when they come back. He is just fooling himself that she actually still loves him.

IRONMAIDEN

A graphic, yet an effective analogy

 

SAMBO

Agreed! Sounds like Flow15 can do much better!

LIKECHARLOTTE

Thanks for your time and response

 

Unfortunately, and it sounds like you have lived through it, is most guys can get a woman to fall in love but then they can't keep her in love because they're putting up an act during the initial stages of dating then they figure they can relax.

 

The craziest part? These guys are generally shocked and surprised when the woman breaks up with them and then wants nothing to do with them, even though they had a million chances up to that point to change back to something that resembled the guy that she fell in love with!

 

THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU THAT RESPONDED TO MY POST!

 

:)

[Banega100]

If you really want her to fall back in love with you the way she "was", then you have to be the same man she thought you where !

 

The problem is the man that she probably "thought" you where does not really exist in reality.

 

Women fall in love with the dream in their head not the person, they have this story book idea in their minds, that few man could live up to and they all believe that they can change us into that dream.

 

Sorry bro but the good news is, it's not you.

Just be yourself and sooner or later who you really are will match up with some girls dream in her head ...at least for a little while anyways.

 

As much as it pains me to say this, i'm beginning to think that this is the top and bottom of it. I had an awful lot to live up to in my ex's head. The dream me was far superior let me tell you.

[alexlakeman]

OP are you a PAID advertiser on this forum?

[Jeff M Stevens]

I am just a guy that co-hosts a syndicated (online and terrestrial) radio show focused on dating women, from a male perspective (to my knowledge, the only in the world).

 

To be honest, do I want people from the forums to visit and check out my show?

 

YES!!!

 

But the show is free....there is no cost as long as you listen live on Friday nights. Yes, there is a cost if you want to download the show on your schedule from our archives, I will keep that real but as long as you listen live on Fridays, there is never a cost.

 

However, outside of having my signature line, I do NO promotion of the show and the only reason I'm talking about it is because you brought it up.

 

I work hard to do 2 things on these forums

 

1. Respond to as many threads as I can with quality advice (for free ) during the week

 

2. Post a new thread each Friday designed to spark dialogue and debate.

 

Yes, I do want traffic to my free show and ultimately I want that traffic to convert to sales but I do realize that I need to bring something of value to these forums and agree or disagree with me, I do offer my unique perspective to people at least 5-6 days a week for absolutely no cost to them and as I said above, outside of my signature line, there is NO promotion contained for my show because I think that would be slimy.

 

I'm not sure if that was what you were driving at when you asked me that but I wanted to let you know where I'm coming from and to keep it real.

 

I never pull any punches.