how to regaing the lost dignity?

[eternal.denied84]

6 months NC and i have come to know the fact that the only thing which is killing me inside and is being a hurdle to free myself from all the pain is -

 

the dignity I lost when I begged, cried, threatened, blackmailed to get her back to me.

 

Its not the love which gives me the pain..but its the lies she told me which i could come to know only after breakup and lost dignity.

 

The only thing i want back is my lost dignity-i hate myself when Ii see that I tried to save relationship, i gave my everything for a bitch. Is there a way I can get it back?

 

THE BIGGEST PAIN IS THIS--how the f***k i was so ignorant, being used, throwed and only went back to convince her to get back.

 

Any means to get the dignity back? I swear to anyone If I have my lost dignity no one can stop me from ruling my future.

[leftfield]

It sounds as though you are holding on to the guilt because you're annoyed with yourself at the way you behaved. We all do things we regret, especially when emotions are running high. The only thing you can do is start to forgive yourself for these indiscretions.

 

The breakup was obviously hard on you, and you reacted emotionally, as everyone does. Read other breakup stories on here and you will find you're not the only one that has made mistakes. Right now, someone, somewhere is breaking up, in fact lots of people are. Some of those people will be on LS in the very near future in a state of emotional turmoil explaining how they did and said all these things to make their lover stay, but to no avail.

 

It's OK to beg, it's OK to cry. You took it a step further and used threats and blackmail, which is not a good way to act. But you KNOW that. You've accepted that it was wrong, so now is the time to forgive yourself. Learn from this and make sure you never resort to such things in future.

 

The fact that this is killing you inside is evidence enough that you feel remorse for what you did, so it's time to let it go. As for feeling "ignorant", again, you have to accept that this happens to a lot of people. Love is blind as they say, so it's time to open your eyes and realise you were in love with someone and you got burned - it happens. Good luck to you.

[Don Ho]

You cannot undo what you said and did in the past. We all do it, so stop being so tough on yourself. You get your dignity back by standing up straight today, not letting this haunt you anymore and moving forward with your life.

[USMCHokie]

Any means to get the dignity back?

 

(1) Open Microsoft Word, or another word processor of your choosing.

(2) Type in the word "DIGNITY."

(3) Hit Print.

(4) Voila, you have dignity.

(5) You can also further accessorize your dignity, perhaps with your name(e.g., "Eternal.denied84's DIGNITY")

 

The point is, the only person you've "lost" your dignity to is yourself, and it's up to you to forgive yourself for past mistakes, learn from those mistakes, and move on a better person. You're never going to see your ex again, so who gives a flying f*** what she thinks. And usually it's as simple as pulling your head from out of your ass and getting on with your life. So often copers will stagnate in their misery simply because they don't take the initiative to do something about it; to proverbially pull their head out of their ass.

[Fouts]

You can't take things back that have been said. You can only learn from the mistakes you made in this past relationship and never repeat them. Life is a continual learning experience, good and bad.

[Gdunkman]

As I wrote in my thread I did a lot of attempts to get my ex back, including moving to her country, changing my job etc. I wasted about 2 months of my life before we took a decision that there's no way for second chance for us.

 

I will never regret that I made those attempts, in the first place because I didn't do them for myself, but for us; in the second place is if I didn't do those things I could think I wasn't active enough to save our relations.

 

Perhaps you should think this way, that everything you did had good intentions for both of you.

[br0ken_w0lf]

Like others have said, there's no magical way to get it back and you're the only person who believes you've lost it. When my ex left, I cried, begged, and pleaded for her to stay as well. Why? Because I'm a human being, which means being emotional, and because I didn't know at the time that it doesn't work. I also beat myself up for that a long time but, at some point, you just need to come to terms with it - it's instinct to fight for something you want and it's in the past. Sure, the threatening, etc. was a mistake but you need to forgive yourself for that mistake and move on. Good luck!