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Lost in New Jersey...... looking for anything I can do...


Shadowsonthewall

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Shadowsonthewall

I need some help.... this is killing me.... I'm 21, and my girlfriend is 18. We met at work over the summer, through strange cicumstances. She was dating my friend, and he was a complete jerk to her. He told her he'd rather be with his friends then her.... she believed it. I tried to help them back together, but it turned out that we got together. She goes to school in washington (a freshman), and I'm in New Jersey (junior). We made it work for 6 months, and it was pretty good. She told me she still felt anger towards her ex (and my friend), but that she didn't want him back. One of her roomates pushed her hard about "not treating me right, and how she still had feelings for her ex"... she had called me every day for 6 months, we were intimite, spent the holiday in montreal, and overall had a good thing. It turns out I'll be living in DC in September, two minutes from her. But two days before Valintines Day, she broke it off. She told over the phone that she saw it crumbling the last three weeks, and that it became a choir. I had a lot of family problems the last three weeks, and we didn't talk that much. But before she left for school in January, she was so happy to be with me. I went to her house to speak to her, and we talked, 2 days after the breakup. She told me I liked her more then she likes me... and that she needs time to think. I pushed the subject, and wrote a letter.... this is killing me..... I care so much about her, and I know she cared about me (she wrote me love letters, etc)... we talked every day, and I would spend 2 weekends a month with her in DC.... now I'm empty inside. She may be coming home this Friday night, for 1 day, and I need to do something.... I just dont know what. I was going to wait by the train with flowers, and tell her how much I felt.... but I told her in the letter...... i don't know what to do..... but I fell for her, and now I need to do something. please help.

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As harsh as it sounds the only thing that you can really do is get over her and move on. It will take time but it will happen. I'm sure she knows how you feel. She broke it off which means she is not interested in a relationship with you anymore. She'll have memories of you to remind her, in case she decides to ever change her mind.

 

The attention that you are going to be giving her, and those letters you are talking about, might be things she no longer wants from you. I personally never liked the "You like me more than I like you" excuse. I think it makes no sense.

 

I know you say that she would call you all the time, and spend so much time with you. Your ex and my exes... What I mean by that is I've had some women suddenly break things off with me when it seemed they couldn't get enough of me. One day and *bam* they wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

 

It's very difficult. If you meant a lot to her she isn't going to forget it any time soon. It might take her a while to remember those things, but leave her alone so she can feel unpressured and figure out things for herself. Do it for you, too. The sooner you distance yourself, and tough it out to try to heal the better off you'll be.

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