what do i do now?

[leena89]

hi, so this girl is one of my better friends and about 6 months ago she started seeing this guy that is 30 (she is 18), and he is a cocaine addict. This guy has a fiance, so she is the other woman. I told her that i couldnt believe that she was doing something to someone else that she knew would hurt her, her justification fro this was oh i love him, he doesnt like her, and shes a b!tch anyways. I told her that she only hears what he tells her, and she doesnt even know this woman. They have been having sexual relations and using no protection...she relayed the info to me that she took the plan b pill 3 times in a month...who knows how many more.

I tried to tell her about the stds and the damage that the plan b pill can cause, but she has absolutely no repect for herself.

she told me that she loves him and that i dont know him like her, but she doesnt even know him...hes lied to her on occaisons. He even told her straight up that she is an immature 18 year old with nothing to offer, and that he would never have a relationship with her...shes convince she can change his mind.

 

previous to this she went after any of my boyfriends friends and was causing problems them.

I got so sick and tired of her that i told her that as long as you are talking to him, you arnt talking to me, and she chose him.

 

I know where this guy lives and i was thinking of going and telling his fiance that hes screwing an 18 year old and should think about getting checked for an std, but i dont know if i should... i know that i would like to know if i was in that position.

there is one more problem... this guy jacked a stereo for her car which shows that he is not above breaking in...she would undoubtedly tell him our adress if i screwed up her little "relationship".

 

so my question is...should i tell her and how should i do it?

 

thank all

[TigerCub]

Honestly, it doesn't sound like your friend is going to listen to reason, so the only thing you can really do is stay out of it.

 

You getting involved by telling the guy's gf about the affair isn't going to help anything. If this guy is a coked up petty theif that doesn't care about breaking laws, you could get hurt.

 

Also, by doing something to intentionally cause problems for this guy, your friend (that's blinded by her "love") for this guy is going to have to pick sides, and she already chose him once.

 

Stay out of it, don't get involved, and just tell your friend that although you're not comfortable being too friendly with her as long as this loser is in the pic, she can call you and count on you if she's ever in trouble or needs a friend.

 

That way she knows that you'll be there for her as a friend when it counts, but you're not getting involved in her mess.

 

Sadly enough, I don't think there's anything more you can really do - she needs to make her own mistakes and hopefully learn from them.

[leena89]

thanks for the imput, and I do think youre right and that i should stay out of it... i just have these stupid frustrations because of her. shes 18 lives at home with no bills and has her education paid for, she doesnt have anything to worry about. Because of this she has no reponsibilty, expectations or any consequences fro any of the **** she causes. when i was 18 i had 3 jobs and was living on my own, i also pay for my own educaation, and so i felt that she needed a consequence and thats where my idea of doing that came from.

 

but im not going to do it cause it could be dangerous.

[PegNosePete]

TC is right, stay out of it. All you'll achieve is losing your friend's friendship. You can probably be more help to her down the line (when things go wrong) than you can now.