Successful people share their wisdom

[Leigh 87]

What tips do successful people have, in terms of how to be a nice, funny, interesting, and intelligent person?

 

I am starting a new life after being socially isolated, and although I have a lot to offer, I have not quiet reached a point where I feel intelligent, funny, kind, or attractive enough to attract friends and people to me.

 

After going no where, I went back to school for one year, got good marks, got into a food science degree which starts next year, and I know what direction I want to go in career wise and I love it and am proud of it.

 

I am fit and healthy for my body type, and although not at my best, I am not very far from it at all. In addition to knowing what i want to do career wise, and feeling happy with the shape my body is in, I am also a very kind and generous person.

 

The probrlem, is that I have a lot more that I need to do before I am worthy enough to make friends, and attract food people into my life.

 

When I am not looking for work, or doing casual work ( in retail or in a cafe near my house), I AM NOT DOING ENOUGH to be sucessul AGH.

 

WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING: educating myself by reading more, and watching more documentaries on utube. I enjoy both things.

 

I also feel the need to volenteer more, as this would make me feel bery good about myself.

 

Essentially, I am not doing what I need to do, to increase my knowledge, or increase my capacity for kindness.

 

Let me re hash: I am 23, I only have on friend from my past ( but a very good friend), and I have to make friends for the first time in my adult life, as well as try to be the most intelligent, kind, funny and interesting person.

 

WHAT DO successful people DO, to make the most out of themselves?

 

I WOULD LOVE to hear from sucessful people WHAT little things they do themselves, to maintain their sucess as a person. Do you make sure to read one novel a week? Do you volenteer, or sponser a child? Do you try new hobbies and interests?

 

Please share the ways in which you feel i could better myself, in addition tot he little things you do to feel good about YOURselves

[denise_xo]

What tips do successful people have, in terms of how to be a nice, funny, interesting, and intelligent person?

 

I am starting a new life after being socially isolated, and although I have a lot to offer, I have not quiet reached a point where I feel intelligent, funny, kind, or attractive enough to attract friends and people to me.

 

After going no where, I went back to school for one year, got good marks, got into a food science degree which starts next year, and I know what direction I want to go in career wise and I love it and am proud of it.

 

I am fit and healthy for my body type, and although not at my best, I am not very far from it at all. In addition to knowing what i want to do career wise, and feeling happy with the shape my body is in, I am also a very kind and generous person.

 

The probrlem, is that I have a lot more that I need to do before I am worthy enough to make friends, and attract food people into my life.

 

When I am not looking for work, or doing casual work ( in retail or in a cafe near my house), I AM NOT DOING ENOUGH to be sucessul AGH.

 

WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING: educating myself by reading more, and watching more documentaries on utube. I enjoy both things.

 

I also feel the need to volenteer more, as this would make me feel bery good about myself.

 

Essentially, I am not doing what I need to do, to increase my knowledge, or increase my capacity for kindness.

 

Let me re hash: I am 23, I only have on friend from my past ( but a very good friend), and I have to make friends for the first time in my adult life, as well as try to be the most intelligent, kind, funny and interesting person.

 

WHAT DO successful people DO, to make the most out of themselves?

 

I WOULD LOVE to hear from sucessful people WHAT little things they do themselves, to maintain their sucess as a person. Do you make sure to read one novel a week? Do you volenteer, or sponser a child? Do you try new hobbies and interests?

 

Please share the ways in which you feel i could better myself, in addition tot he little things you do to feel good about YOURselves

 

Hi Leigh, I don't think I'm successful in the way that you frame it so I might not be your target group for this post, but here's my reaction to what you wrote:

 

IME, achieving success starts from within, it's about your attitue to life and whether you can look at life and at yourself from a POV where you shed yourself of all the multiple layers of ideologies and attachments and entrenched thought patterns that prevent us all from realising our potentials. This is the starting point and the external stuff (what you actually fill your time with, trying out new interests etc.) follows from that. If the external stuff isn't connected to the internal dimension, there is a fundamental disconnect which leaves the external stuff a bit floating in space apart from your self. Take your suggestion of volunteering as one example. I've volunteered a fair bit throughout the years, and in certain circumstances those experiences have helped me achieved 'outward' success, such as helped me apply for certain jobs or given me social networks that I could later draw upon for whatever purpose. It's a piece of social capital that helps you in particular situations and mobilises people to think about you in certain ways (e.g. 'Leigh is a good moral being, has gained specific experiences through that work, made connections', and so on). But at the end of the day, when you're looking yourself in the mirror you need to ask yourself did I do that for me or for others, and if I did it for others, was it for the people/cause that the volunteering was supposed to benefit, or was it so that others would look upon me favouribly. In all likelihood, it's a bit of everything. But you need to have those conversations where outer activity is grounded in self, so that all those activites don't just become an external-only validation of self that you in turn become dependent upon, because that's setting yourself up for failure.

 

It sounds like you're gaining direction and finding out what kind of things you want to do so just keep doing the stuff you like and do your best to both enjoy it and excel in it. Good luck. About being 23: it only gets better as you get older, IMO.

[Leigh 87]

You are exactly the kind of person I wanted to hear from. You gave fantastic advice, thanks. I am still digesting it; my mother is an English teacher, yet I have a long way to go before I am as fluent with words.

 

You are well spoken, and speak in a way which I would one day like to be able to grasp. I like learning new words, I think it is important for me to start reading more again, and something i like to do, is to highlight words I do not know, so I can look them up; I then keep them in a book so I can draw on my new words I have learnt.

 

Being able to speak better is even important to me. And it is not something I want to use, as a function to get others to view me more favorable; I have pride. Learning how to speak better, and learning new words and in turn, better ways to express myself, is somethingt hat gives/ will give me great personal satisfaction.

 

I am realizing that a lot of the things YOU do to make YOURSELF feel fulfilles, just happen to be things that are viewed positively by others. For instance, I want to read more because it is something I enjoy, and being able to learn new words and speak better will make me feel good about achieving this; it just so happens that it is improving a skill that will also sound better to others.

 

I suppose that a lot of the good things we do for OURSELVES, are simply positive things in general; logically, the thigns that make us feel fulfilled tend to be good things, that other people will percieve as good.

 

I genuinly want to better myself, by increasing my knowldge and raising my intelligence, and I want to only volenteer with organizations that I feel good about; in turn, being nicer and smarter are also attractive qualities to others.

 

My point, is that by working on improving various aspects of myself, I will be a better person all round, and people will see that; I am not doing it FOR other people, but being better as a person in certain ways will attract more people as a result ( of me being a more appealing person).

 

I will not put as much pressure on myself. Simply eating healthily, doing SOME form of exercise each day, and watching ONE utube documentary on something new each day, IS A START.

 

DOing small things every day, consistently, will over time help me to become more confident. COnsidering I have been laying inside feeling depressed about my weight, and resulting social isolation, even small things are a start for me.

 

I can in myself that I have the potential to work hard and be successful; mostly because I have the genuine desire to be, for the right reasons. My dream is actually to earn a lot of money, so I can give a lot to charities. I do not want children biologically ( yes I am young, and YES I strongly know this to be fact).

 

The ultimate life I envision for myself, is one where I get a lot of satisfaction therough helping other people. I have choses to not have children, so that I can give more to charities and really help people. I have a strong desire to do this.

 

I do not have enough going on in my life right now, so I tend to shift the emphasis onto my body. I love being thin and use it as a tool to feel " okay". I am not thin now by the way, I had to gain weight after an eating disorder.

 

Thanks again for your helpful response! To be clear, I view successful as ANY person who is happy within themselves, and is trying hard to achieve things in their lives; I do not equate success to having a certain job, or a lot of money.

[shayan]

Hi Leigh, you are heading in the correct direction with your actions and I encourage you to continue. I believe your only mistake is that you belittle your self worth. In other words, I think you need to realize that your self worth is something you gain internally and has very little to do with the physical world. If you want to make friends you can do it now, you don't have to become someone else to do it, all you have to do it step out of your comfort zone and say hi to someone. So keep working my friend, but please give yourself more credit, and stop saying your are not good enough cause that's not true!

[Dooda]

Maybe you should stop thinking about how you can be successful, and rather think about how you can be yourself. That is the most important thing.

Don't say that you're not ready to bring people into your life, because you are. On an objective level, there are no purely successful people in this world. Success is what you make. Success is doing and accomplishing what YOU find to be successful.

 

You don't have to be the most cultured, the most knowledgeable, the richest, the most powerful, or any of that to be successful. You just have to be yourself and do what you do best.

 

Denise said it perfectly. Success first comes from within, and THEN you fill it up with all of the external objectives (i.e. volunteering, your profession, exercise). There has to be an honest sense of self-worth.

 

Who says you are incapable to deal/meet/talk to people except you? Why are YOU less worthy than other people?

As long as YOU feel good about reading a book, then do it.

[Phateless]

It's all about setting up a positive routine for yourself. Find a couple of things that make you feel good and set up patterns to make sure you do them on a weekly basis. It just takes time, but the positivity will sink in.

[Leigh 87]

Thanks for your kind words, posters:) There is one charity I have found which I enjoy volenteering for - I walk Saturday mornings with the vision impaired, as one of their guys. I really enjoy it, I like going for walks, and gettng together with a few nice people once a week is something I genuinly would want to do with me time, regardless of if it is considered working for a charity or not lol.

 

One of the vision impaired women is more into fitness than I am lol! She has a 6.00 PT session, and then turns up to our 7.30 walk, in her skins ( the professional workout pants), and her running shoes.

 

 

I do think that I am worthy of meeting people. I love chatting to people in shops actually, because I like people. I talk a lot with the women in shops, and people actually really warm to me and love talking with me.

 

It is not my lack of communication or social skills that hold me back; it is the fact that I have been a lonley, scared, and mentally ill person for years, and I have never HAD friends, a regular group of girls my own age, in many years. If ever.

 

Facing the unknown is doing something you have not done before, in in a long while; making friends is one of those things for me, which I have NOT done in years.

 

funnoy you mention how being myself is important, because that is the very thing I most ask of myself; my mantra is " being myself is the best I have to offer the world".

 

Of course, we have to work hard to be good versions of ourselves. But there is no such thing as perfect, and I just need to find things I like, and work hard to achieve things.

 

For example; I like reading biographies on inspirational people, I love documentaries on space and science and also nature and animals, and I like studying humans and how they interact with one another. I love just watching and studying people. I also enjoy contributing to a website where I give people with eating disorders advice ( seeing as I had anorexia)

 

the above things are things that ALSO happen to be benificial, and will help to positivly build my character, as the above activities that I enjoy actually provide me with knowledge.

 

ON THE OTHER HAND ( lol...) I also love watching reality TV, comming to love shack to connect with a diverse group of people on whatever matter takes my fancy, and cutting up pics from vogue and fashion mags and scrapbooking ( as a mneans of expressing myself). Oh. And I also love shopping for hand bags, clothes, and jewery.

 

THE ABOVE things are still me doing things that are " of myself", however, they are obviously not as useful in terms of increasing my interlectual capacity as the other things, LOL!

 

Although I do consider comming Love Shack, and being able to talk with a bunch of people, of all ages, and of all professions, as a useful and smart thing to do; I have moved towns and would not otherwise be able to connect with as many different people as I do here. It is useful and valuable to know what others are thinking, saying, doing, in a varity of situations.

 

I have a lot to work on though, but I guess there will never be apoint where I say " okay, I am successful enough now, I can stop finding things to improve about myself". I will of course always have things to aim for.

 

 

I do have some immediate things that need tending to though; I have terrible time management skills, for instance. And a penarch for living behond my means, when my poor parents are supporting me at this time.

 

Expensive french goats cheese and black fitted, expensive clothing are unfortunately very much a part of who I am LOL, but things I need to earn more money to indulge in.

 

Does any one else here have expensive tastes in clothing? I buy cheap jewlery...... if that is any consulation, lol?

[Green]

Work a job that will look god on your resume. So for food science what kind of job could you get that will take u closer to your dream job.

[Leigh 87]

It will take 3 years to get my food science and nutrition degree, and I would some day like to set up my own place so that I can be a nutritionist to those suffering from disordered eating.

 

In the mean time, I want to be a personal trainer to women, which will obviously start as a casual thing, and if things go well and I improve at this job, I will start to work more regularly at it.

 

I cannot see any other job I am qualified for, besides personal training, retail work, and Cafe work, until I get my degree. That is fine with me. After all, I have my parents support.

[Green]

It will take 3 years to get my food science and nutrition degree, and I would some day like to set up my own place so that I can be a nutritionist to those suffering from disordered eating.

 

In the mean time, I want to be a personal trainer to women, which will obviously start as a casual thing, and if things go well and I improve at this job, I will start to work more regularly at it.

 

I cannot see any other job I am qualified for, besides personal training, retail work, and Cafe work, until I get my degree. That is fine with me. After all, I have my parents support.

 

 

IF you want to be a nutrionest I suggest you MEET some nutrionest. Look them up on the internet or what ever call them up or write them and explain that you will be starting school and want to do what they do. Ask if they are willing to give you advice and maybe meet with you for a chat about the field and what you can do and if there is a job you should be working some where in the mean time.

 

ACTION... oh and live in the now. Enjoy the fact that in the now you are on a journey toward a goal... the goal itself isn't whats to be enjoyed its the journey.

[Leigh 87]

Good idea Green, I think that if I call some nutritionist and ask them for some insight into their job, that some of them will be flattered that a person at a lower level to them is asking for their help. Hopefully this will work in my favour. Besides, if I made it to my goal I would definitly not hesitate to give our help to those who asked for it.

 

But yes, calling nutritionists, as many as I can, and finding out as much about my future career asipration as possible, would be a smart move!

[Green]

Good idea Green, I think that if I call some nutritionist and ask them for some insight into their job, that some of them will be flattered that a person at a lower level to them is asking for their help. Hopefully this will work in my favour. Besides, if I made it to my goal I would definitly not hesitate to give our help to those who asked for it.

 

But yes, calling nutritionists, as many as I can, and finding out as much about my future career asipration as possible, would be a smart move!

 

I got to shadow people in my future career when I was still in school. So if you call some up or email them and ask for help, ask to see what they do.. for information basicly THEY WILL BE FLATTERED and I'm sure one will invite you to the office and have a meeting with you.

[Leigh 87]

If I feel it is appropriate, I will certainly tell them that I would love to shaddow them to see what they do - who knows, they may even get me to help them with minor tasks.

 

But lets not get ahead of ourselves. That is the best case scenerio, and I will be thrilled if a nutritionist even responds at all. And Green, what IS your job? I like you so I am interested to know what your career is.

[Green]

If I feel it is appropriate, I will certainly tell them that I would love to shaddow them to see what they do - who knows, they may even get me to help them with minor tasks.

 

But lets not get ahead of ourselves. That is the best case scenerio, and I will be thrilled if a nutritionist even responds at all. And Green, what IS your job? I like you so I am interested to know what your career is.

 

UPDATE us later. CALL or EMAIL a few nutrionest near you AS SOON AS you can and tell us that you DID IT. Then tell us again when they get back to you. You could write the email now if ur not going to sleep soon.

 

My career is SECRET. (because people on here would be able to look me up if I said what I did) But it was my dream and took a lot of hard work and I didn't always believe I could do it and did.

[Leigh 87]

I called a nutritionist, and she agreed to meet me for coffee at a nearby shopping centre ( you call them malls in the US).

 

She sounded really nice, too. She said she would be happy to go through what she did, so I can get an idea of what I will be doing as a nutritionist one day.

 

The next thing I want to achieve, is to get a few women clients to train, since I do have a PT certifcate 3 and 4. I need to do al ot more reading on it, as I go the certification years ago.

 

I have 1 casual job working for royal dolton and royal albert , but that is only a weekend job, aside from during christmas, I will work on NYE and boxing day.

 

The only other casual position I have is working at a local cafe which I love, but it is only 1 - 3 days per week.

 

So at least I have a lot of time to read up on the fitness stuff.

 

Also, improving my own fitness is also a " job " i need to work out, as it will be key to my sucess too.

[Green]

I called a nutritionist, and she agreed to meet me for coffee at a nearby shopping centre ( you call them malls in the US).

 

She sounded really nice, too. She said she would be happy to go through what she did, so I can get an idea of what I will be doing as a nutritionist one day.

 

The next thing I want to achieve, is to get a few women clients to train, since I do have a PT certifcate 3 and 4. I need to do al ot more reading on it, as I go the certification years ago.

 

I have 1 casual job working for royal dolton and royal albert , but that is only a weekend job, aside from during christmas, I will work on NYE and boxing day.

 

The only other casual position I have is working at a local cafe which I love, but it is only 1 - 3 days per week.

 

So at least I have a lot of time to read up on the fitness stuff.

 

Also, improving my own fitness is also a " job " i need to work out, as it will be key to my sucess too.

 

This is so cool some one on here actualy took my advice and put it to ACTION. I really hope you make a good contact with this woman and that she helps you out or gives you advice. Ask her questions and enjoy it.

 

You really sound like you are a go getter and I'm sure you can get some clients to personally train.

 

Don't worry to much about working out. You sound like you already look fine.

[Leigh 87]

I am not afraid to tell white lies to gain access to opportunities, either. If there is a spot available to assist nutritional research, or just to get a certain job.

 

The thing is, sometimes I really genuinly WANT a certain job, and know I would be great at it simply because it is exactly what I want to do with my time, and would work very hard to be great at it.

 

So when it comes to interviews or getting positions, I have taken to saying what I KNOW I am capable of, but have not necessarily put into ptractice yet. for instance, I love fashion and design, and it is a huge part of my life.

 

If an exclusive clothing store wanted staff, I would go there, dressed in my usual stunning clothes ( have hreat style because I know myself well and know exactly what I feel comfortable in and that looks best on me), and simply say what I actually do believe in myself, albiet telling a white lie when it comes to my experience; that " hi, I have a lot of experience in retail and it is what I have always done, and I would be anideal ambassedor for your brand because I personally love it and would love working for it".

 

The point is that I love the brand and would work hard to achieve excellence in it. It is only retail, and any average person can do well at is and pick things up if they are willing to try hard, even if like me, they DO lack a lot of experience.

 

In truth, I have never have much retail experience, but on the other hand, I do believe that I am the best person for the job for other reasons, such as my genuine desire to work for that particular b rand.

 

I feel that if you want to work hard and if you really WANT to work in a job, that simply having a DRIVE to be WANT to be there, makes you an ideal canditate; people who love their jobs and are doing what they WANT to be doing produce good results.

 

One of my goals right now is to simply do well at my weekend job, which is working for Royal Dolton and ROyal Albert china and homewares. It is a really exlusive company and I love working for such nice products.

 

So I am even dropping by in my own time when I am in the same shopping place, and asking the manage to give my pointers and tak show me proceadures; we never technicallty work together, so I am showing her initiative by initiating things, rather than her having to figure out ways to find time to show me how to do things.

 

Ultimately I want to be a nutritionist and then perhaps get aosychology degree and work with people on their food issues, however, I will be thrilled if I can become good in retail positions, be able to work in the better type of Cafes, and also be able to train women at home; I would LOVE to be able to fall back on several other skills, if times get tough and I cannot get a job through my degree.

I am off to my lowly paid cafe job shortly, but I have come to the conclusion that it is how you go about evertything; I can go and be great at this job, and just striving to be good at anything enables you to carry yourself better.

 

I actually love the job, I love talking to different people on a daily basis, even rude people who talk down to me, I am just facsinated by people in general and like observing how they react towards me, and how they act in general.

 

That is my update , I will come and find this thread when I have found some clients, and of course gott myself into better shape that people want to emulate more.

 

OKAY so many women do want to look more like me, but I am still not trying... THAT hard to achieve things for myself. but I am doing alright.

 

I hope to come back beflre next year and be able to tell youthat I am; training even just one or two women, that I have kept my retail job, and that I am still working at the local cafe causally, and lastly, that I have found ANOTHER casual or part time job also.

 

wish me luck. I am lazy and have the tendency to not put things into action fast enough! But it is nto a self fulfilling prophecy, I am just describing my nature, which i can of course change at the times I need/want to.

[Cuchara2]

I come from a well off family, who have really well off friends. What I see and what I have deduced myself is that you need to find a woman to stick with before you get rich as hell. Why is this? Because when you are rich as hell, women will only love you for your money. I know people who own multi-billion euro companies and have been through 4 - 5 marriages. The only person I know who is happy with his wife met her before he became insanely rich.

 

Even if you do find someone who loves you for you, you will always have it on your conscience that she might be with you for only your money. I am only 19, however I already start to see this (I've had a massive head start in life and am really greatful for it - I'm in telesales which is a great job!).