Another "friend" problem

[Lori]

I have one of those "friend" problems that I see posted every now and then. A couple of months ago, I broke down and told a guy who has been one of my best friends for 2 years how I really felt about him. I've never been in love before, but the way I feel about this guy is like something I've never known. I had heard from other sources that he also felt an attraction to me, which is why I said something. (I don't think I would have had I not thought this was mutual).

 

Anyway, he seemed interested in the idea and seeing where it would go. However, this was 2 months ago, and he has yet to make a move. We don't spend any time alone anymore, because we're always with the group, and now I'm starting to feel awkward around him. I never wanted this to happen. I don't think he's avoiding me, cause he still calls to make sure I'll be going out, and that he'll see me at certain places. I also see "certain glances" from him to me when he thinks I'm not looking. My best friend knows him well, and keeps saying "be patient, good things are worth waiting for", but this is ridiculous! Should I give up and move on? I feel like I've lost one of my best friends.

[Tony T]

In this particular case, I think he really likes you a lot but is scared of close relationships. By having you as a friend, he could be in love, could be close to you, do lots of things with you, could enjoy your company, have all the benefits of a close relationship except perhaps for sex and remain safe from the intimacy and other trappings he may be very afraid of in a close relationship.

 

You did absolutely the right thing in announcing your feelings. By telling him how you felt, you were being honest and sincere...and you were being true to yourself.

 

Whatever his problem, if he is not responding in a way you would like, you should accept his friendship in whatever form he offers it at this time...if you wish...and proceed on with finding someone who will be more inclined to be involved with you romantically.

 

I think two months is way more than enough time for him to come around, if he is a real man. The friendship has obviously changed. That's OK. Whatever is happening now is very honest and that's good.

 

But after this amount of time, whatever his problem is, I don't see an upgrade to romance coming your way. You need that in your life and I hope you will seek it elsewhere. Once you do find it and announce to your buddy you have found a love in your life, you will probably see a dramatic change in his behavior and he will come at you with undescribable passion. But he will be too late.

 

Isn't life a bxtch???

[Rogue]

Just a suggestion,try giving him a little "push". Try showing interest in another guy while around him and see how he reacts.You don't have to date or even flirt with another guy,just show you still get attracted to other men.

 

Make comments like "That guy is really cute!" so he can hear them. Maybe it will wake him up? At least it will bruise his ego a bit. I don't know if it will work,but it might be worth a try.