GF of 4 years broke up with me on Valentine's Day.....I'm devastated!!!

[Jamander23]

Hi everyone, I found this forum after I typed in the search "how to get my girlfriend back" in Google. So I came here and found many situations similar to mine, but I still wanted to hear some comments in response to my situation.

 

My girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me on Valentine's Day, of all days. We are both 21, she goes to school in California and I go to school in Utah. However, the long distance between us has never really been a problem, as we have spent 3 of our 4 years in this situation. We usually see each other once every 6 or so weeks, and would talk on the phone multiple times a day. I was planning on coming to spend Valentine's weekend with her, like I have done the last two Valentine's. But the night before I was to come, she said to me that she didn't think I should come, then that she wasn't she wanted me to come, then she said don't come. I was so upset and she didn't give a reason, but I respected her wishes. Well, it went from "don't come" to "I need a break" to "We're broken up" to "I've met someone else." It has been the worst 2 weeks of my entire life, never have I felt this low. Everything was fine up to the night she told me not to come. We were having great conversations and were really excited to see each other. Like an idiot, I spent most of the week and a half following the break up calling her. We could normally spend about 2 minutes talking about platonic things before I would launch into my defense. I would beg and plead with her. It would just make her really upset and she would say she couldn't talk to me anymore. So we don't talk at all, it is very hard but from all the posts I have read, the "no contact rule" is the best course of action. I am just barely starting to eat and sleep again, but I still feel terrible. I cannot fathom in my wildest dreams how someone who spent 4 years in a very positive and loving relationship could first break up with someone, then launch into another relationship! She has already admitted to being with this guy every day, kissing him, etc. That is so hard to accept! It seemed to me that this guy had to have come into the picture alot sooner than she told me, but she has always been very honest and claims she told me right when it happened. She said that "she had never felt this way about another guy the whole 4 years we have been dating." She also says that the door is not closed on me and her, but that right now she cannot be with me. I have heard many cliche's, enough to make me sick. If it's meant to be, it will happen. Well how will it happen if I can't see her and can't talk to her? If she lives in California and I in Utah, how will it "happen." I am so confused and hurt. We had plans to get married at the end of this year, one of us would move to where the other one is. I thought about giving her about a week of no contact, then writing her a letter telling her how I feel. It might come across different in a letter than on the phone. Good or bad idea? Any help would be appreciated. I just want my baby back, I really feel she is making a mistake! Do I have any hope at all? Thanks everyone.

[Hendrix]

i know exactly how u feel it only happened to me, and im only slightly... Yea slightly gettin a small bit over it its v v hard and alot of hurt is involved it was a 2 and a half year great relationship and... well i dont want to get into it in this post... just read my post "hard breakup" and you'll see my story... its v hard to accept the person with other people it jus makes u fell sick and terrible But its a pain in the ass.... you got it rough to Man! so i know how u feel i got it and took it very badly..... Theres loadsa people that will post its time to move on but its hard and every relationships different im not really in a postition to say move on since im trying to do it myself, and fingind it a bitch its hard to accept and theres alota pain involved but i suppose you'll have to try.... =/

 

+ i found this website the exact same was as you and it is helpfull when people reply to your posts...

[flsgirl]

I find it to be extremely inconsiderate of your ex to treat you so terribly, especially breaking things off on Valentine's. It's incredibly hard to deal with this, especially when you thought things were going great. The fact of the matter is, dating long distance sort of gives you this romantic perfect outlook on your relationship because you don't see each other. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. When you do see each other, it's perfect because your time is limited with each other. You don't have to deal with all the day-to-day relationship problems. I know this is true because I too did it for 2 years.

 

Obviously she was unhappy with it or maybe she wasn't, but she happened to meet someone. That someone is where she is and you aren't.

 

My advice to you is to give her some space. Believe me, she'll contact you. You have way too much history together. Don't bug her, it shows you're desperate. You have to maintain some sort of dignity and self-respect. When she does talk to you, let her bring up your relationship stuff. Keept things short. Tell her you love her and you want to work things out and to let you know when or if she's ready.

 

Who knows, maybe she's just testing other waters to make sure that you're what she wants. It could be a phase, or not. Just don't set yourself up for disappointment. In the meantime, focus on something that interests you and keep busy

 

Goodluck to you...