Author Username37 Posted September 27, 2010 Author Share Posted September 27, 2010 So about the new boyfriend. It seems like this relationship is either 1) not official or 2) a total secret. Leaning towards number 2. We kept our relationship secret for a while too and she has numerous friends who did the same, so I wouldn't be surprised if she caught on with them. Link to post Share on other sites
isitreal Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 (edited) Well, everyone who breaks up has to deal with it sooner or later as well. If she wanted to be with you, she would have. I think that "I don't want to be in a serious relationship" is a BS line. I used to use it myself because I actually want to be in a career and have my life walking in a straight path before I get serious, but if I actually think about it, even though I'm not there yet, I would never willingly let a good thing go. If she meant enough to me and she wanted a relationship, I'd give it a shot. Words of comfort: What she is getting herself into is a relationship of some sort, take it for what it is dude. The relationship that you will see through social media and pictures...that's the good stuff put on for the world to see. Every relationship will have its ups and downs, and good and bad moments. Face it, if it was easy to make relationships work, we wouldn't have LS. Every relationship comes with it's own set of rules and problems, and this one will be no different and have its own trials too. Don't feel like this guy is better, know that there will come a day when the rose-colored glasses come off and they'll have to work at it to keep it alive, just like every other relationship. The fact that it's a secret may already be an indication of it not being long term. Edited September 27, 2010 by isitreal Link to post Share on other sites
Author Username37 Posted September 27, 2010 Author Share Posted September 27, 2010 I can't help comparing myself to the new guy. And I walk by them sometimes, and they're laughing. The new guy is also in one of my classes and I hate seeing him smiling when he walks in because I know that was because of my ex. This sucks so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Username37 Posted September 28, 2010 Author Share Posted September 28, 2010 I'm having so much trouble right now. I saw pictures of my ex and she looks so beautiful now. How can I move on when I'm still attracted to her? And knowing that I ONCE had her and now she's with someone else? Link to post Share on other sites
rattled Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I'm with you username. I was just told from someone that my ex is "facebook official" with someone else now. Huge blow. Probably won't sleep. Link to post Share on other sites
isitreal Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Get her off the pedestal. If you guys have any game, date around, and change yourselves for the better. You've been replaced. It's time to be better versions of yourselves and make sure that the next time a relationship ends, you've put your best foot forward and that way you'll be less miserable and have no regrets. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Username37 Posted September 28, 2010 Author Share Posted September 28, 2010 I'm with you username. I was just told from someone that my ex is "facebook official" with someone else now. Huge blow. Probably won't sleep. Sorry to hear that. How long ago was the break up ? Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I dealt with this as well, a month after. The pain subsides with time, being replaced with anger and resentment. It's up to you to let it all go. In my world, it's very hard for me to visualise myself trusting again, as it's been so long. I feel a slight remorse for the girls I date; as if I know I'll leave them as soon as I get a bit bored. IDK, it just takes time, fellas. Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I can't help comparing myself to the new guy. And I walk by them sometimes, and they're laughing. The new guy is also in one of my classes and I hate seeing him smiling when he walks in because I know that was because of my ex. This sucks so much. Yeah, I'd be miffed too. But at least you're the guy who can say (To your buddies) Haha, I know his girl won't do THAT for him! Besides, it's not his fault, you know? She left you. She caused the chaos, the pain, the suffering, the break. Let her be happy for now. You will find your everlasting happiness, as well, man. It happens to those who are patient, and wait, and learn to love themselves, who they are, who they aspire to be, and what they become. I myself, well, I digressed. I'll turn it around eventually. I'm still unhappy in some ways, but very happy in others. Link to post Share on other sites
rattled Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Sorry to hear that. How long ago was the break up ? Officially with titles and all? February. But we've been on and off and "seeing each other" until the end of July when she developed a relationship behind my back with said new bf. We did everything we did as a couple minus the title and she thought it was enough for her to act single with this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Sonolumino Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Damn rattled! You dated such a bitch! Acting like you were together and blindsiding you like that is probably one of the worst things that can happen to a person. I know because it happened to me too. My ex, two months TWO THE DAY of our break up after a 4 year relationship, starts one with this guy. I find out from one of HER friends that 10 days after we broke up she was trying to get with some guy, but he turned her down so she found someone else. So 5 weeks after she's done with me, she's "with" this new guy, and a 2 or so after that she's in a relationship. Gotta love that when the ex's rebound. She has literally told me and multiple people "I don't know how to be single, I think it's a girl thing". No, bitch, it's an insecure and needy thing. She tried to bury all the emotions she had for me and just sprint into a new relationship, we'll see how that goes. I hope she collapses like a dying star, but I'm caring less and less every day. Link to post Share on other sites
rattled Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Funny, she was never such a bitch when we were together. Blindsided? Perhaps. I kind of suspected it when she kept denying that nothing was going on between them. She was never a great liar. Link to post Share on other sites
durkadurka Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Funny, she was never such a bitch when we were together. Blindsided? Perhaps. I kind of suspected it when she kept denying that nothing was going on between them. She was never a great liar. I don't understand serial daters. When I visited my ex 1.5 months after we broke up she said 'I've been in a relationship in some form since I was 15, I'm so happy to not be dating anyone'. 2 weeks later, guess what she's doing? It makes you wonder, does the guy actually matter, are the guys substitutable? Or is it the inherent need to be in a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Username37 Posted September 29, 2010 Author Share Posted September 29, 2010 I ran into them everywhere today. They wait for each other, talk to each other before and after school. Like my ex and I use to do. Not sure if she's using him or this is truly genuine. I hope its the first one. I know it's not his fault. She made all of the decisions. Does she even care about me anymore? Obviously not I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Sonolumino Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 Yeah, anybody who's dating a new guy on the side while you're still dating her is a bitch. 100%. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Username37 Posted September 29, 2010 Author Share Posted September 29, 2010 Yeah, anybody who's dating a new guy on the side while you're still dating her is a bitch. 100%. I'm sure my ex wasn't seeing him on the side. Maybe thought of him as a prospect, but not actually with him. And from the looks of things, it seems like they started dating like.....1 or 2 weeks ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Sonolumino Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 Ah ok I must've misunderstood, my mistake. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Username37 Posted September 30, 2010 Author Share Posted September 30, 2010 Ah ok I must've misunderstood, my mistake. It's alright dude. And gah, the feeling of being replaced sucks. He's doing everything that I did with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Sonolumino Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 Yeah it sucks. But it gives you closure. It lets you know that she wasn't right for you. It messes with your mind because you fell in love with her, and you can't wrap your head around why it would fail when you loved her and she "loved" you. That's where I'm at now. You become indifferent to the whole thing. My ex wants to rebound like that? Fine. Too many women out there to be hung up on a girl who doesn't want me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Username37 Posted October 1, 2010 Author Share Posted October 1, 2010 I honestly think she's with this guy because she's lonely. She's using him and will throw him away, like she did to me. Well whatever, they don't look cute together like she and I did. Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 I honestly think she's with this guy because she's lonely. She's using him and will throw him away, like she did to me. Well whatever, they don't look cute together like she and I did. As hard as it sounds, you have to stop comparing them and you and her, and you and him. Realise this: SHE WANTS HIM. Regardless if it's just for now, or turns into forever. SHE WANTS HIM, NOT YOU. How you feel towards them is simply secondary. You need to focus. Focus on why you are 1337 and awesome, and why any girl would want you. In fact, become untouchable. Drown yourself and immerse yourself in new things. Don't use those things to cover up the pain; feel the pain, and through feeling, you'll let it go. I am still doing so. Even after she denied to the goddamned grave after I followed the cookie crumb trail, right to the guy I thought she cheated on me with. I am still doing so, but it makes it.... alot, alot easier. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Username37 Posted October 2, 2010 Author Share Posted October 2, 2010 I'm trying to better myself. I look fitter and better looking than the me 4 months ago. I accepted the fact that she's with him now, but it's so painful because she's doing the same things that she did with me with him. Does that mean she's filling the void that she left? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Username37 Posted October 3, 2010 Author Share Posted October 3, 2010 Mutual friend hung out with my ex and her new boyfriend today. She said "not to get your expectations high" or something like that What does that mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Username37 Posted October 3, 2010 Author Share Posted October 3, 2010 It means that you are spending too much energy on this woman. Oooo it seems my quote is misleading. My ex told our mutual friend " dont get your expectations high" on the topic of her and her new bf. It wasn't to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Username37 Posted October 4, 2010 Author Share Posted October 4, 2010 She put me through so much **** and this new relationship is pretty much the most hurtful thing right now. Does she not feel my pain? Link to post Share on other sites
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