cnbv Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 Hi I would like some advice. My girlfriend of over 2 years broke up with me about a month ago. The past two months of our relationship was pretty rocky. I heard some things about her cheating on me but she said it was only a drunken mistake that was just a kiss and it didn't mean anything and she loved and couldn't imagine being without me. I heard it a couple of different times. SO after that I really didn't trust her totally and kind of made her feel guilty when she would go out with her friends and she didn't like that. And also during this time I got kind of depressed with problems with college and not having a job or really anything to keep myself busy and that kind of drove her nuts and she wasn't happy with me. And then one of the last weekends we were going out I ended up getting really drunk one night and blacked out and ended up cheating on her with one of her good friends. I didn't tell her because of how bad it would kill her not just with me. But then a guy who I didn't know had a crush on her ended up telling her what happened. So she broke up with me on the spot and wouldn't talk to me for a little over a week. And now she says that it was the last straw and I will never change and that she thinks she was falling out of love with me. But I know that she wasn't happy with me because I wasn't even happy with myself. I tried sending letters and emails telling her that I would change and I would do anything for her but she isn't giving in at all. And now I find out that she has been seeing the guy who told her what happened. We broke up a couple of times before for a day or two because she was unhappy with me not having a part time job or something, but I tell her I am in college and once I get out things will change. I guess I am just wondering if there is anything I can do. I love her more than anything in the world and I can't get her out of my head. I know this has bothered her very much two because she has lost weight and is trying to get over me by seeing this guy which is killing me. We always got along great except for some drunken evenings. She said this was the last straw. I emailed her last week and said if she wants to act like this with this guy then I told her to have a good life and havent talked to her since. What should I do now. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Cpunch75 Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 shes so dismissive after two long years being together? give her time to reconsider things. But, like kevin said, you most likely should move on because it doesnt sound like she is going to stick around. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cnbv Posted February 25, 2004 Author Share Posted February 25, 2004 I know I should move on, but there is something inside that doesn't feel right. We both did our stupid things when we were drunk but, now she is taking it to another level and it hurts pretty bad. Especially to start seeing somebody else right after we broke up, am I stupid or and dumb that she is just using this guy to get over me or can she actually like him. It hurts because it feels like she doesn't care for me at all. Those feelings can't go away that we had for each other so fast can they. I know there is nothing I can do or say that can take the past back but I wish everyday that i could. We got along so good when we were together like we were best friends. She always said that she was so lucky to have such a great boy friend and best friend and now for her to act like this is unbelievable to me. Is there any way that she will ever miss me. Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 This is always very difficult. Being the "broken up with" rather than the "breaker up-er" is the hardest. Trying to fix things or get her back won't do any good at all. It will just push her farther away. I know it sounds like an impossible feat, but if you can stop all contact with her (No email, phone calls, voice mail/answering machine messages, notes, things passed on by friends, IMs, etc.) this will be great for the both of you. You will slowly over time grow stronger and heal from this, and the sooner that happens for you the better. Maybe a few months from now you can be friends. And yes, there is always a possibility she might want you back, but don't plan on that. I've been hurt like this before, but even if I couldn't agree with the girl she did have a reason. I'm sure I've hurt a few girls before by breaking things off with them as well. Just keep your distance, and don't give her any excuse to be angry or further upset with you. It's going to be very difficult, but time to yourself, away from her, is the only thing that can heal you. Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 The two of you are not compatible at this time. You cheated, she cheated -- dude, this relationship isn't gonna work. Suck it up and drive on. We all f**k up from time time. It's part of life - deal with it. Put it all behind you and move on. Meet some new women, pick up a new hobby, do some volunteer work. In time, you'll get past this. ~V Link to post Share on other sites
Author cnbv Posted February 25, 2004 Author Share Posted February 25, 2004 When we did talk she said that she didn't want to be in any relationship. That she wanted time by herself to figure things out. I can handle giving her some space but to think and know that she is spending alot of time with this guy is killing me. How can she jump right into something after us being together for over two years and me thinking that we were so close and could tell each other anything. Link to post Share on other sites
eagle_nate Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 Buddy, She doesn't want you..if she did she would be with you, right? I just ended a "break" last night. For three weeks i sat around waiting like a moron while ppl here and my friends urged me to end it. I wouldn't, i couldn't, I said. But then, i got another freaking "kepp holding on and we'll see" e-mail from her and I said enough is enough... and u know what, although it was hard as hell and i feel immense pain, i feel Ok about it. The digging pain of the ordeal is over, now i know it is time to move on. 24 hours ago I was in the same position as you man...hurting. Well, i still am but at least now i have control over my life and my future. End it. Gently, honestly, sweetly. Tell her you'll be there for her but you cannot sit around and wait for her. See what she thinks of that....Let's just say mine was shocked and didn't seem to like it too much. If she comes back, i'll cross that brigde, otherwise, onto bigger and better. Link to post Share on other sites
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