NeptunedIN Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 So ended up casually dating this guy on/off over 2 years. We were effectively FWB. Of course, I developed feelings for him, and after both of us ending it at different times, we always seemed to end up back at square one. Well in the meantime I dated someone beyond a casual context. The FWB guy of course stayed in contact with me even though I let him no there was no going back to FWB and I was involved with someone. After the new guy broke my heart, FWB guy was willing to enter a "friendship" with me. This has been going on for over 6 months. He eventually tried putting the moves on me, I firmly set the boundary that it was platonic or nothing, he agreed and hasn't tried anything sense. I will admit that sometimes I can be naive, but here is what I've learned. There is no such thing as men and women being friends...at least not after FWB. Okay, so as much as I actually enjoy his company and want to be friends with him, I'm realizing that he is prob tolerating this friendship in hopes that I break down and sleep with him. I can be pessimistic but why else is he being my "friend" at this point. Also, now that I've gotten a better chance to know him, I totally have a crush on him, outside of something physical. And to boot, the sexual tension is becoming intense between us. I cannot continue in this "friendship" for obivous reasons. Question, how do I tactfully end this "friendship" (I mean I've known him for years at this point, it's difficult just to delete his # with no explanation and never return his calls again) and would it be more beneficial to get those feelings off my chest/ do I owe him an explanation or do I just callously cut all ties and leave it as is. Thanks in advance Link to post Share on other sites
squeaky Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 Do you think there's any potential for a real relationship (that is, something deeper and more stable than fwb)? If so, then I would try to talk to him. If you think it would probably just continue along the same path of hookups as friends, I would try to distance yourself from him in order to get over the crush. I don't think you have to delete his number or make a big statement. Maybe just find other ways to occupy your time so that you just aren't as available to talk or hang out anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 Okay, so as much as I actually enjoy his company and want to be friends with him, I'm realizing that he is prob tolerating this friendship in hopes that I break down and sleep with him. I can be pessimistic but why else is he being my "friend" at this point. <and> Also, now that I've gotten a better chance to know him, I totally have a crush on him, outside of something physical. And to boot, the sexual tension is becoming intense between us. I cannot continue in this "friendship" for obivous reasons. Look, if the feelings appear mutual.. go for it. You might only get one more chance! Or are you more worried that he's only in it for sex? Link to post Share on other sites
Author NeptunedIN Posted September 22, 2010 Author Share Posted September 22, 2010 Thanks Squeaky and Sumdude, I am not in a place to put myself on the line for rejection after the last guy, really was looking for just a friend and I think if this guy were interested in something serious he would have let me know by now. I will take you up on the advice of putting distance there and not necessarily cut and run (bad habit I would like to break) thanks for listening and the input Link to post Share on other sites
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