So unhappy with my life but don't know how to change it

[chocolate_boy]

A few years ago everything was going great, I had a fantastic job, earning loads of money, beautiful live-in girlfriend, lots of friends, then my gf left me and I lost my job last year.

 

I had to move back to the crumby little town I'm from and back in with my parents, I've been working for another company for 9 months here, and was doing really well. Over summer I had a fling with a co-worker who I sadly fell for massively, she ended up changing her mind and dumping me, leaving me heartbroken, and now things have changed at work, I'm not longer getting invited to meetings, not being asked to do extra work (which I always did and relied on the money).

 

I've also just rented a place to live here, but now worried if my work is drying up I'm not going to be able to afford it. I don't know if my relationship with the co-worker is to blame, maybe I took my eye off the ball at work, but part of me doesn't want to be there cos it hurts to see her.

 

I feel like I need to get away and feel suffocated here, but now I have this house around my neck so I feel stuck. Basically I'm going to be living beyond my means for the next 6 months

 

I'm 30 years old and feel I have nothing going for me now. I just feel more miserable than I ever have and can't stop crying all the time.

Basically I have lost my spark at work and feel like I'm being slowly pushed out, and the girl I gave my heart to just crushed it. I can't see a way out. I can feel it at work, boss no longer has time to talk to me, unanswered emails, I was always top of the list for over-time/weekend work, now some other guy is doing all the project management.

 

I feel like I just want to get a million miles away from this depressing place, and wondering how my life went so wrong in the last two years.

[TaraMaiden]

You let your heart rule your head, which was a huge mistake.

 

is there a Human Resources department you could talk to?

Organise a meeting with your boss, and discuss this with him. Ask him how constructively, you could all work together to turn this thing around.

Maybe see your doctor about getting some time off work to gather your thoughts together, and fight this depression.

 

You need some time off and time to get your head straight.

And don't start putting up hurdles and excuses, bepore you have actually physically investigated these possibilities.

 

The main thing is - nobody can change you, but you.

But there is help out there for you.

Grab it.

[shayan]

You have my sympathy chocalate. It's ok to be sad during this period, it seems like you have had some unfortunate things happen, tears are very nessecary for proper mourning. However, I think you feel incredibly victimized and helpless and this is your problem. You have to realize that despite your job difficulties and loss, you can rebuild yourself. In other words you need to start participating in activities and excercises which will re-wire your mind for a more positive outlook on life. I suggest you read your sacred self by Wayne Dyer. Remember chocalate we as humans, as individuals are more than just our occupation Good luck if you need suggestions on ways to rebuild yourself look at some of my threads or just ask

 

Your situation is definitly curable!

[skydiveaddict]

I feel like I just want to get a million miles away from this depressing place, and wondering how my life went so wrong in the last two years.

 

 

Have you thought about enlisting?

[chocolate_boy]

Thought I'd look back on this tread a month later. The girl in question is now hooked up with another co-worker and they both seem very happy, I was hurt at first but feeling ok about it now, I think it's helped me get over her.

 

At work though I seem to be slowly being pushed out the door, boss is dropping hints "oh I'm not asking you do to xyz incase you leave", I've not been invited to the xmas party this year. I asked him why I've stopped getting any responsibility he said it wasn't anything I'd done, he just didn't want to be in a position where he relied on me, since August I've had nothing really.

 

I'm pretty miserable there, but if anything, watching the girl I fell for with another guy under my nose every day, and then being edged out the door by the boss has made me pretty determined. I feel like I've now outstayed my welcome and it's a sign I need to move on, find a new job and new place to live.

 

I've applied for 2 pretty cool jobs today, gonna push myself to apply for a few each week that look interesting, and get myself out of this hole by the new year.

 

On the up-side, I have nothing to keep me here, I might even do something crazy and head abroad.

Edited October 22, 2010 by chocolate_boy

[ReggieAlex]

Ok buddy!

 

Enough! You've got to change your focus, or else no matter where you go, life will be miserable and you'll still feel like "puke"! I mean that in the nicest possible way!

 

The fact is, these things happen to lots of people all the time, but the one part of you that has the ability to fight is being eroded, drowned, damaged beyond repair. You are in effect, giving these people an enormous amount of power over you. You need to stop it today! There is one thing inside you that will help you to fight. Know what it is?

 

It's your spirit. It's the only sane part of you that you can really use to fight. Listen to this: A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit, dries up the bones. (Prov. 17:22)

 

Now, don't take this as "preaching", but there is wisdom in that. You cannot let your ex, your boss, or anyone else break your spirit! No one deserves that much power over you! You are stronger than that, if you learn how to fight!

 

Want to have kids at some point? I started at 30, so it's not late! Get over it.

Your story of over-coming the odds here will be an inspiration for them and their children! Get into a program, a group of like-minded people that will help you to be happy, contented and strong in spite of all the cr*p that is going on around you.

 

Finally, I will encourage you to stop looking to the people in your office for solace.

You may not find it there. Your own innate spirit is powerful, but you just don't know it yet.

 

For what it's worth, here is one guy who is cheering for you! Decide what you want to do with the rest of your life..and believe me, you can do it!

 

My best,

ReggieAlex