Any pointers on dealing with an irrational spouse during the separation

[Dad_of_2_great_boys]

NSETBXW (not soon enough to be ex wife) and I have been to court for a temporary relief hearing.

I need and have permission to pull 25K of equity out of our home to fund her start-up then she has 10 days to leave.

 

She asked me to get her name off the mortgage so she could get her own.

I called lawyer and offered to refinance the house to the max and place additional funds in an escrow account after her lawyer and mine reviewed idea.

 

Get home today and what she asked me to do isn't what she wants me to do?

She's trying to settle the whole divorce (to her demands) right now and she hasn't even moved out.

 

On top of that:

Turns out the car I am driving was her "birthday" gift 8+ years ago. And she wants her full basis in it. Huh?

As for the house, I need to get her papers that protect her interest in the asset while taking her name off it completely. Huh?

And she wants to clear me off the car title she's driving but not the loan. Huh?

And it keeps going and going....

Any pointers on how to deal with this till I can get her out of the house?

[just_some_guy]

You need to just say no, no, no to everything, period.

 

Get the 25k loan that the court granted, hand it over through the lawyers and get a restraining order if she doesn't hoof it out the door in the agreed upon amount of time.

 

Then go no contact, period. Do not respond to demands, crazy phone calls or anything else.

 

Tell her it goes through her lawyer, to your lawyer, period.

 

It sounds like you may need to review the quality of your own lawyer, make sure he is up to the task of dealing with these kinds of demands.

[james3232]

Stop talking to her and lawyer up..........or you're gonna be in trouble, my friend.

[carhill]

Just tell her to pound sand and you'll see her in court. DO NOT make any part of it easy for her. She's already shown herself to be unstable and unreasonable. Scorched earth. May the best lawyer win. Good luck

[Campingman]

It is you vs her now. Other than children (if there are any), ABSOLUTELY NC. Everything goes through lawyers if she is going to make demands. It HAS to be about YOU now. I like the 'put a nice smile on your face... walk away and do nothing' approach.

[quankanne]

sounds like her lawyer is coaching her in how to screw you over, but it's a lawyer's job, you know. However, YOU don't need to be dealing with HER anymore now that the divorce proceedings are underway, that's what both y'alls lawyers are for.

 

if the judge rules that you can pull dinero out and she's got X number of days to vacate the house, then SHE must abide by that. Again, this is something your lawyer needs to be handling. Because it's a court order signed by the judge, it's something that can be enforced by the local law enforcement agency if she goes one minute past the leave-by date.

 

you might bring up your concern to the lawyer that you feel you are being harassed by this woman while she's staying on site, because she's talking out of every oriface and you're worried about the impact on your children as well as your mental well-being. Hopefully, he can do something to get her out of the house in the meantime ...

[Dad_of_2_great_boys]

you might bring up your concern to the lawyer that you feel you are being harassed by this woman while she's staying on site, because she's talking out of every oriface and you're worried about the impact on your children as well as your mental well-being.

 

I did expect some pettiness, especially as I have chosen to take the higher ground.

 

Your point about the children is noted and keeps me from engaging.

 

I keep trying to hear the penguin from Madagascar- "Smile and wave boys. Smile and wave."

[HopelessinDTW]

This thread is so timely from my standpoint because my stbx is emptying out the house as I write this of all of OUR possessions and taking to her place. She's giving up the marital home to me. My first instinct was to stop her and tell her what a b*tch she was. After thinking about it, I decided it was just possessions and didn;t respond at all other than an e-mail to her where I said how sorry I was for her that she had to lie to me and behave this way. she alwasy accused me of being materialistic and a money grubber. So I told her "guess you are the materialistic one??". In the long run it will hurt them to behave this way then it does us. Just take the high road, and do what your lawyer tells you. Then when you go in front of the judge he/she will know who is sane/reasonable and who is not. Good luck.