Feeling guilty

[muffin]

My son is 16 now, and now that he's so independent and maturing and not with me near as much, I sometimes find myself missing and remembering the times when he was little. Lately I've been remembering when he was a baby, and I tend to feel really guilty remembering one time when I handled him roughly when he was crying during the night. I was exhausted and frustrated. I didn't injure him or anything, but I was just rougher than usual out of my annoyance. I'm sure all mothers have had very similar experiences, but I tend to still feel guilty, even after all these years, and even though my son was only an infant and has no memory of it. I feel like I want to just jump back in time to that night and do things differently and be loving and gentle with him. Anybody else out there have regretful memories of parenting mistakes they have trouble totally forgetting?

[sb129]

Isn't it funny how we replay the few negative incidents over and over again, and feel guilty, but we rarely replay the hundreds of positive ones.

 

My daughter is still small, but there are incidents- I didn't strap her in her bouncy chair properly once and she slid out and landed on the floor when she was about 8 weeks old. The fall was probably all of about 15cm onto soft carpet, but I still feel terrible when I think about it.

 

You have had 16 years with your son- if you only have ONE night that you feel bad about amongst the countless good ones, I would say you are doing pretty well as a parent. If he is independent and maturing- then you have done your job.

 

Don't be so tough on yourself. Parental guilt is a killer!