destiny Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 [font=arial][/font][color=blue][/color] Why don't I feel sexy??? I have been married for almost 4 years. We have a beautiful 20 month old son. I used to define sexy - not saying i was beautiful, but I was very confident, kept myself in good shape and LOVED sex - anytime, anywhere. Lately that's all been different. Since the baby I have put on about 10-15 lbs which I can't seem to get off. I feel mostly because between working 45+ hours a week I am the one who spends the most time taking care of our child, therefore i barely have the time or energy to work out. I feel depressed, fat disgusting. I have to literally imagine i am someone else in order to get through sex. Lights have to be off and i am dressed within seconds of it being over. I hate this. This is not me and i know my husband is beginning to hate it as well. Can anyone offer any advice, help... anything? Link to post Share on other sites
ncornell Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 There is no one that will be able to make you feel better about yourself, than yourself. If you are uncomfortable with what you look like, you will have to change that, but I really dont think that is nessesary. You are still the same person you were, and have been. Dont lose sight of who you are, reguardless of how you think you look. I had to go through the same thing with myself, but i used to always tell myself i was ugly and that no one wanted me. And if you tell yourself something long enough, it will come true, you and other people will believe it. Look at your child, the answer always seems to be in there eyes as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author destiny Posted February 25, 2004 Author Share Posted February 25, 2004 yes but it's so hard. my husband is a "beautiful girl" fanatic. he loves playmates, models, etc. i mean - he thinks jennifer lopez is a cow!! so you can imagine what he must think of me. he thinks the ideal woman should have a body like pam anderson - no lie. he even once said that carmen electra was too thick - can you imagine. i'm 5' 7.5" and used to weigh around 118, now i range between 130-135 depending on the week. can anyone at least suggest a good and FAST exercise plan that i can get through in an hour or less a day? Link to post Share on other sites
ncornell Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 If you love him and are worried about impressing him and not yourself. Then I guess you need to monitor your eating habits, eat healthy, decrease your carb intake, but do not subtract them from your diet. Get your pulse going and sweat! If you can run or walk, do at least 20-30 min of it a day, if not, do sets of jumping jacks, pushups and crunches. Drink ALOT of water throughout the coarse of the day. Instead of eating big meals, eat alot of smaller meals to get your metabolizum going again. I have taken herbal pills to boost my energy as well. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 must you work 45 hours a week AND take care of the baby most of the time? what does your husband do, meanwhile? -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Author destiny Posted February 25, 2004 Author Share Posted February 25, 2004 well, here's the schedule: i leave around 7:20 am to get my son to school and me to work by 8:00 ( my husband works on the other side of town so i have to take him & pick him up) i get home after picking him up between 6:00-7:00 pm. feed him, give him his medicines (he has asthma & allergies) husband still usually at work or just on his way home. by this time my son wants to play because he hasn't seen me all day. by the time i get him to sleep it's between 9:30/10:30 pm and i am exhausted. I cannot lie, my husband is not much help, but even if he were, i am not left with much time to work out. before my child i worked out 2-3 times a day, now i'm lucky if i can do it 2-3 times a week. i think the depression is making me more tired and so by the end of the day i just want to go to sleep! Link to post Share on other sites
FreeMe Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 Well with that schedule it's not surprising you don't feel sexy, then feeling like you have to live up to your husband's ideals of what women should look like on top of it. I don't have any good advice unfortunately - only that if he could play with your son in the early part of the evening maybe you could at least take a half hour and do some exercise. Your husband should love you for who you are. But even so, at your current height and weight you are hardly overweight! The standards for women these days are ridiculous! They don't allow for things like pregnancy and yet we're all expected to reproduce. Grrr Arrgh! Link to post Share on other sites
Author destiny Posted February 25, 2004 Author Share Posted February 25, 2004 Yes i know. I mean how am i supposed to look like a playmate when i don't have an ounce of freakin time to work at it GRRRRRRRR!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
FreeMe Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 It's really bogus! I can sympathise with you. You should try to find a way to get some time for yourself regardless. It sounds like you're stress level is probably very high as well. Link to post Share on other sites
GiveAndTake Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 I say, lose the husband, keep the weight. Just kidding. It just aggravates me hearing about men like that. What happens if, God forbid, something physically happens to you that is not reversible? It's just too much work trying to measure up to someone else's standards. You don't need to work on you as much as he needs to work on him. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 how about hiring a nanny? or more like a housekeeper - somebody who can cook/clean and help you take care of the baby. that's the only way i see for u to have a realistic schedule.... -yes Link to post Share on other sites
bellatina Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 You body just changed because you created life....appreaciate you body not for what it looks like but for what it is capable of doing. You breast are for feeding now ... not just to look good... you hips bared life.... if he doesn't like it ... he doesn't deserve you. I love Jlo's ass because I am a bog but girl too and I am proud of it.... Viva big butts!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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