You did it, I did it, now you leave

[BatWoman]

I was with my boyfriend, or ex boyfriend now almost 6 yrs. He found out that I cheated on him 3 yrs ago with one of my former co workers. I also found out that he cheated on me with a few women. Since that time, we were supposed to be working things out but every time I did not answer the phone immediately he would accuse me of cheating. He said what I did was worse than what he did because he had random encounters with men and my cheating was more emotional in nature and I would go to the guy's house that he shared with his gf. He said I was a bitch, the lowest of the low, he would never marry a woman like me, I am a piece of s#@@, I will never amount to anything, he hates me, he knew I was worth nothing more than a booty call.

 

He also accuses me of cheating with more men but that is not the case, I cheated on him with one man, he cheated on me with 5 that I can prove, he was taking women on dates doing things he wasn't doing with me. He said they were worth it and they liked him and I did not. He has threatened my well-being, he has shoved me around since finding out about my infidelities. He said he was the best man I can ever get and no one will ever want me. He talked about how ugly my body was how he dated beneath by being with me and he told me I have no standards. He told me his ex was more woman than I could ever be and I dont know how to treat a man, take care of a man, how to keep a house, and that we are not compatible.

 

He treats me like the biggest whore around which I can't understand because he cheated on me too.

[TigerCub]

Sorry Batwoman,

 

Did you have a question or are you just venting?

I was going to suggest that you leave him - especially if he's been pushing you around / getting physical.

But you mentioned that he's your ex now.

 

If that's the case, then I think its good for both of you that you're out of that toxic relationship.

 

All you can do now, is completely cut him off - don't bother talking to him, etc.

 

Hopefully the next relationship you have will be honest, respectful and happy.

 

Good luck

[BatWoman]

I want to know why he is like that why he says what I did was worse or why does he really hate me so. I dont know Im just hurt and confused and I know its good things its over and all, but just curious as to how to move on and how to take this I guess.

[PegNosePete]

To put it simply: because he is an arsehole.

 

The long version may be because he is punishing himself for his own actions, by chastising you for yours. He knows what he did is wrong but doesn't want to admit it, so he is diverting the blame to you. He's making himself feel better about what he did by convincing himself that you did worse. He's trying to save face with friends and family by making himself look better, and you worse.

 

But I prefer the short version. Forget about him, move on.

[Dexter Morgan]

you both cheated and neither one of you is any better than the other.

 

so unless you want to save 2 other people by staying together, I'd say break it off and get out. This relationship is doomed.

[aerogurl87]

Cut the toxicity and move on. That's my advice to you as I was in a somewhat similar situation with my ex. He cheated from the very beginning (thought I didn't know but stuff wasn't adding up) and I cheated on him once. He called me a whore, slut, b*tch, whatever he could think of. My self esteem got to be the lowest of the low and I had a mental breakdown. Then we broke up, I learned my lesson, and am now happily in a healthy and stable relationship. I hope you can move on and find someone who will treat you better because even though you did cheat, no one deserves to be in a relationship that toxic.